Hobart_Carboys Posted November 16, 2016 Posted November 16, 2016 I may get flagged once more for my honest opinions but if you're living with someone who is constantly angry, unable to be honestly affectionate most all the time, who doesn't pat you, kiss you, nibble on your parts, is disgusted by the sex you want and desire, and refuses to do what you want; if he/she is a flirt and you don't like it and say so; if he/she is always glancing to see a good-looking person look back at them; if that person you live with finds constant fault with you; if you are constantly just happy because you like to be smiled at and loved; if you have many times tried to persuade them or tell them your needs and they don't actually undertake to provide you with what you need---take my advice, don't wasted any more time, make plans to leave, and then go. I wasted my life waiting. Nothing happened but a slow, habitual life-in-death. Don't pay counselors, psychologists, rabbis, ministers, preachers, don't discuss endlessly, get around to acting, to going towards your goal. Don't worry, there are beautiful exciting people who need you and love you. You just haven't met them because you are sitting and waiting. 2
ladydesigner Posted November 16, 2016 Posted November 16, 2016 I may get flagged once more for my honest opinions but if you're living with someone who is constantly angry, unable to be honestly affectionate most all the time, who doesn't pat you, kiss you, nibble on your parts, is disgusted by the sex you want and desire, and refuses to do what you want; if he/she is a flirt and you don't like it and say so; if he/she is always glancing to see a good-looking person look back at them; if that person you live with finds constant fault with you; if you are constantly just happy because you like to be smiled at and loved; if you have many times tried to persuade them or tell them your needs and they don't actually undertake to provide you with what you need---take my advice, don't wasted any more time, make plans to leave, and then go. I wasted my life waiting. Nothing happened but a slow, habitual life-in-death. Don't pay counselors, psychologists, rabbis, ministers, preachers, don't discuss endlessly, get around to acting, to going towards your goal. Don't worry, there are beautiful exciting people who need you and love you. You just haven't met them because you are sitting and waiting. You just nailed everything I am going through. I don't want to end up in the mental hospital for a third time so I am choosing ME and am leaving my Narcissistic WH. 2
hestheone66 Posted November 16, 2016 Posted November 16, 2016 Hey lady designer, I applaud your decision to leave (seen your posts for a long while on the infidelity board) I had a 12 year "relationship" with a toxic narcissist. The charm at the beginning made me blind to the red flags. He was unemployed for years and convinced me once I'd had the baby he'd take care of Me..... wrong! He would use our son as weapon. Even after the cesarian section the one time I ever asked him to bring me something as he was walking past, he said he wasn't my slave! From that time I turned inward, because I was in this relationship with a person who constantly blamed me, I started to punish myself for choosing and staying...but with young children and having to work full time and do all housework and never ask for support. I was too worn down to leave... Eventually I did...9 glorious years ago...of course I didn't say I was leaving...I planned for months, securedsomewhere to live, found him a job 1 day at my workplace just so I knew he'd be out of house.. I took my essential things and left....even though it was a house in my name and he had no claim at all, he eventually moved out 5 months later when I sold the house under him.....and if I ever check his social media he still moans about me spreading lies about him and how he has no friends ...boo hoo...someone posted on one of his rants that actually he never comes up in conversation..for a narc that must burn the most.. So I concur with OP, that if you see those traits, don't second guess yourself..spare yourself the missed opportunities and wasted years and get out and go dark, complete NC 1
ladydesigner Posted November 16, 2016 Posted November 16, 2016 Hey lady designer, I applaud your decision to leave (seen your posts for a long while on the infidelity board) I had a 12 year "relationship" with a toxic narcissist. The charm at the beginning made me blind to the red flags. He was unemployed for years and convinced me once I'd had the baby he'd take care of Me..... wrong! He would use our son as weapon. Even after the cesarian section the one time I ever asked him to bring me something as he was walking past, he said he wasn't my slave! From that time I turned inward, because I was in this relationship with a person who constantly blamed me, I started to punish myself for choosing and staying...but with young children and having to work full time and do all housework and never ask for support. I was too worn down to leave... Eventually I did...9 glorious years ago...of course I didn't say I was leaving...I planned for months, securedsomewhere to live, found him a job 1 day at my workplace just so I knew he'd be out of house.. I took my essential things and left....even though it was a house in my name and he had no claim at all, he eventually moved out 5 months later when I sold the house under him.....and if I ever check his social media he still moans about me spreading lies about him and how he has no friends ...boo hoo...someone posted on one of his rants that actually he never comes up in conversation..for a narc that must burn the most.. So I concur with OP, that if you see those traits, don't second guess yourself..spare yourself the missed opportunities and wasted years and get out and go dark, complete NC This is the only part I will not be able to pull off because of the kids but I have limited the conversations to finances and kids only.
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