Broken529 Posted November 16, 2016 Posted November 16, 2016 I started no contact 5 days ago and going through the emotional feelings that one goes through when you detach. We were urging over the fact that he doesn't follow through with promising to call when he was home (he was away on business) and make plans to go out. Also, I went away for a couple of days with some friends and that kind of bothered him so he put up some funny stuff on his Facebook about walking with this girl that he had dated briefly before me. The man has never posted anything on his Facebook and on the weekend I am gone he decides to post. I never said a thing about it because I didn't want to let him know that he got a reaction from me, but it made me a jealous wreck. The last time we're together we had a great time, took me out to dinner, went to the movies, stayed over my house. It was wonderful, the he left on business and I didn't hear from him for over 7 days, so I texted him and sure enough he had been home and had spent a weekend to himself without letting me know he was home. I was so upset. Because I realized that my emotions were getting the best of me I decided to text him to let him know I was going through a lot of stuff and I needed some time to myself to process things, but in reality I was doing the no contact. What do you think about going about no contact this way? Is it the same as just saying nothing or saying goodbye? I am not really happy in our dating because he will not commit to a relationship which is what he promised me at the beginning. Seems like when we are together we have a wonderful time and he is the best boyfriend and makes promises and then he leaves and he doesn't follow through. I got tired of that. We broke off a few months ago and we didn't speak for 3 months until I broke down and called him, he was happy to hear from me and wanted to see me right away and stupid me bought the bait and saw him again within a few days. He was very loving and caring and it seemed like no time had passed between us, but then the hot and cold started to happen again and it was too much for me. He is divorced from a long term marriage and I guess he is afraid to love again. Anyway having a hard time but not as hard as the first time we did no contact. I just feel disrespected when he doesn't follow through and doesn't make me a priority in his life. I can't help but hope that he will call me and I could just tell him what I need out of our relationship. Right now he has control because he knows how I feel about him. I care deeply for this man. We have the best time together, we share the same hobbies and can't keep out hands away from each other. I have been journaling and sharing with a couple of good friends. I come here and write this post and I know that writing this post is helping me. I hope I can read it back in a year and laugh at myself for being so stupid. Today I can say was a good day for me. Not too sad, but yesterday was really anxious and my emotions were all over. I hope I have more days like today. I can't even imagine not ever seeing this man again. He is funny and witty and great company, but I want more.
bummer Posted November 16, 2016 Posted November 16, 2016 ... I guess he is afraid to love again... Please don't get in the habit of excusing other people's bad behaviour towards you. You're bargaining against yourself. Anyway having a hard time but not as hard as the first time we did no contact. I just feel disrespected when he doesn't follow through and doesn't make me a priority in his life. I can't help but hope that he will call me and I could just tell him what I need out of our relationship. Right now he has control because he knows how I feel about him... Sounds like you're in a pickle. You care deeply for someone who doesn't mind blowing you off or posting things about other women, who is aloof, and who clearly does not love you. He is playing you until he can upgrade. He can be a gentleman and loving when needed but can shut it off immediately because he DOES NOT really care. Don't bother telling him what you need out of this one-sided relationship. I hope you find the courage to instead tell him that you NEED OUT of the relationship. Which is how I first read that sentence.
Recommended Posts