Was I too harsh?

[Nicole10]

I posted about this guy here before. He insisted to have sex on the second date and most of the responses I got here were that he was only after sex. I accepted that and also knew it myself. I gave the whole situation a long thought and since he is really good looking and I have no time for a real relationship anyway, I decided that I would be ok with FWB situation.

I texted him explaining what I want and he kind of agreed. I am saying kind of, because he called me as soon as he got my text and was hinting at us dating. The next day he texted me asking if I would like to go out of town with him (hiking or do some other fun activities). Then he texted again apologizing that he was busy and wasn't giving me as much attention as he should. I replied that I was ok with that and wasnt really expecting anything for him. I even said something like "I don't care what you want" when he asked to send him a selfie. Btw. at that time he was out of town for business.

Anyway, he got back in town and we ended up having sex. In the morning, I had to go to work and told him I was going to call uber. He insisted on taking me back home. Once I was done with work, he called me and asked me to have lunch with me which I agreed to. On his way to my house, he stopped at the store that sells my favorite candies and got me 2 bags of these, lol.

Now, I am confused. He seemed to be only after sex but he doesn't act like that. Another problem is that we were talking about future in general and he told me that I am very smart, intelligent blah blah and I should be very careful who I should decide to marry and have kids with. It sounded like he wasn't even a choice. I know it is way too early to think about it but I just found it weird. He keeps texting "I miss you." I never say anything back and I never initiate contact because in my mind he only wants sex and I dont want to be lead on and hurt.

 

Is it possible he wants a relationship but doesn't see future with me. That is the vibe I get from him.

Edited November 16, 2016 by Nicole10

[dispatch3d]

Sounds to me that because he was looking for sex on the second date your assuming that's all he's after. There are guys that will have sex on the second date and date you from then on as well.

[ashy555]

Did he flat out tell you he doesn't want a relationship either?

 

Sounds to me like you need to clarify with him whether he wants one with you or not as it seems you are developing feelings?!

 

Not everyone can do fwb. I for one can't! I also know how tempting it can be, but it could be asking for trouble, especially when he is acting like a boyfriend and doing cute things for you.

 

I'd tread very carefully as developing feelings for a FWB can be extremely painful and not worth it in the end. Its tempting but he won't change his mind if he doesn't want to commit.

[Nicole10]

Did he flat out tell you he doesn't want a relationship either?

 

Sounds to me like you need to clarify with him whether he wants one with you or not as it seems you are developing feelings?!

 

Not everyone can do fwb. I for one can't! I also know how tempting it can be, but it could be asking for trouble, especially when he is acting like a boyfriend and doing cute things for you.

 

I'd tread very carefully as developing feelings for a FWB can be extremely painful and not worth it in the end. Its tempting but he won't change his mind if he doesn't want to commit.

That is what I am confused about. First, I thought it was only sex. Then he started doing cute things. We did not talk about what we want (except for me clarifying I want FWB) but I kind of read bewteen the lines and he does want a relationship (he mentioned to go skiing with me in January or February). However, I also got the feeling he doesnt want anything serious. So pretty much someone to go out with, have sex with, act as if they were in a relationship but no commitment.

I asked him would it be ok if I dated other guys and he first said yes, but we are exclusive when it comes to sex. After maybe half an hour he said something like "if I fall for you, then no, you cant date other guys."

I understand that my proposal for FWB and acting so cold also confused him. But again, what really bothers me is the feeling that he wants a relationship but doesnt see future with me. Basically, he just wants a company and sex. Or am I overreacting too soon?

If that is the case, then I would prefer FWB to wasting time on something that doesnt lead anywhere.

[Ami1uwant]

Some people want just a casual relationship that you regularly date and have sex and have a good relationship but there is no long term chance of a proposal.

 

Do you want to waste your time with this??