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I fell off the wagon

ladydesigner

By ladydesigner
in Infidelity

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ladydesigner Established Member

ladydesigner

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I think my situation has been so dire since False R and I have asked for a Divorce more times than I can count, but I am planning on leaving my M soon (I have to consult an attorney and a few other loose ends first).

 

Anyways I have found myself in another A. This time I feel no guilt, I just want out of my M. I am not looking for another relationship or to get married, but I do want to see other people now. What this new A gave me was something I have not experienced with ANY man I have ever been with. He is sweet, kind and gentle. He snuggles and wants to hold me. I have never had this kind of intimacy with my WH (and that is the truth and I have been on both sides of the fence!) I am tired of being mentally and emotionally abused by my WH. Tired of my WH never coming home, tired of getting no help, just plain tired :(

I have to admit this A has been a godsend compared to everything my WH has put me through. :(

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ladydesigner Established Member

ladydesigner

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through enough.

 

No he's divorced and I'm married :eek: I need to get divorced I am desperate to get out of my M.

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Patrice Established Member

Patrice

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In any case, be wary of who you choose to be with for awhile. I found right after my divorce, that I kept picking people who treated me like my ex had. Heal from the years of being treated poorly - your self esteem will improve, and you can pick a better person who supports and cares about you, then.

Go get a lawyer, and have this unhealthy marriage over with. xo

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ladydesigner Established Member

ladydesigner

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In any case, be wary of who you choose to be with for awhile. I found right after my divorce, that I kept picking people who treated me like my ex had. Heal from the years of being treated poorly - your self esteem will improve, and you can pick a better person who supports and cares about you, then.

Go get a lawyer, and have this unhealthy marriage over with. xo

 

Thank you Patrice ;)

cocorico Established Member

cocorico

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What this new A gave me was something I have not experienced with ANY man I have ever been with. He is sweet, kind and gentle. He snuggles and wants to hold me. I have never had this kind of intimacy with my WH (and that is the truth and I have been on both sides of the fence!) I am tired of being mentally and emotionally abused by my WH. Tired of my WH never coming home, tired of getting no help, just plain tired :(

I have to admit this A has been a godsend compared to everything my WH has put me through. :(

 

 

LD I can't say I'm surprised. There is a limit to how much anyone can take.

 

I hope the A helps you to break the last bonds and leave. Finding a healthy R after years of a toxic R can be very empowering. Enjoy it, but don't forget to take care of yourself too.

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ladydesigner Established Member

ladydesigner

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LD I can't say I'm surprised. There is a limit to how much anyone can take.

 

I hope the A helps you to break the last bonds and leave. Finding a healthy R after years of a toxic R can be very empowering. Enjoy it, but don't forget to take care of yourself too.

 

Thank you Cocorico!

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whichwayisup Established Member

whichwayisup

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I think my situation has been so dire since False R and I have asked for a Divorce more times than I can count, but I am planning on leaving my M soon (I have to consult an attorney and a few other loose ends first).

 

Anyways I have found myself in another A. This time I feel no guilt, I just want out of my M. I am not looking for another relationship or to get married, but I do want to see other people now. What this new A gave me was something I have not experienced with ANY man I have ever been with. He is sweet, kind and gentle. He snuggles and wants to hold me. I have never had this kind of intimacy with my WH (and that is the truth and I have been on both sides of the fence!) I am tired of being mentally and emotionally abused by my WH. Tired of my WH never coming home, tired of getting no help, just plain tired :(

I have to admit this A has been a godsend compared to everything my WH has put me through. :(

 

Why do you 'need' man right now? Can't you be on your own and rely on friends and family to keep you busy? Going to yet another MM isn't the answer, now you're involved in helping HIM cheat on his wife, a whole other can of worms that could blow up in your face if you're caught by his wife/BS.

 

Please think about counseling so you can heal and make healthy decisions for yourself. Relying on someone else to create a false sense of happiness and security is going to bite you badly... You didn't learn from the first time around sadly..

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ladydesigner Established Member

ladydesigner

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Why do you 'need' man right now? Can't you be on your own and rely on friends and family to keep you busy? Going to yet another MM isn't the answer, now you're involved in helping HIM cheat on his wife, a whole other can of worms that could blow up in your face if you're caught by his wife/BS.

 

Please think about counseling so you can heal and make healthy decisions for yourself. Relying on someone else to create a false sense of happiness and security is going to bite you badly... You didn't learn from the first time around sadly..

 

He's not married I am.

 

My M is toxic and I just need out. It has been years since I have had any intimacy or emotional connection.

 

Yes Yes Yes I need therapy like there is no tomorrow!

 

Edited to add: I don't need a man, but this man is making me feel like crying because I have never experienced such intimacy on this level.

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Chica80 Established Member

Chica80

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Hi Lady

 

Can't say I'm surprised after everything you've been through....more to say later

 

But sending you (((((hugs)))))))

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Mr. Lucky Established Member

Mr. Lucky

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My M is toxic

 

Right idea but...

 

I just need out.

 

...the wrong way to go about it :( .

 

Mr. Lucky

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BluesPower Established Member

BluesPower

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Maybe it is wrong, but I have to say that after what you have been through just enjoy yourself.

 

I can understand that having someone to hold you like they mean it is a big deal. We all need that and it sucks when it is not happening.

 

Just don't get hurt, guard yourself a little.

 

And get the divorce done ASAP.

 

Good Luck...

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ladydesigner Established Member

ladydesigner

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Right idea but...

 

 

 

...the wrong way to go about it :( .

 

Mr. Lucky

 

I know it is :(

BTDT2012 Established Member

BTDT2012

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Have you filed? Are you still living with your husband? Why is your AP ok with having a relationship with another man's wife? Is your relationship out in the open, or is it hidden?

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DKT3 Established Member

DKT3

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Keep your eyes open. I think the danger is getting the intimacy overload that you've been missing can and will cause you to overlook serious red flags. Desperate people do desperate thing that have worse outcomes then the current situation.

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Cephalopod Established Member

Cephalopod

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Just start doing to your husband what Nicklee's wife is doing to him. Flaunt your affair in his face. Get dolled up and leave for the weekend. Your husband will soon buckle and give you a divorce.

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gettingstronger Established Member

gettingstronger

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Be careful of you. I worry what this decision will do to you emotionally in the future. Today's victory may be tomorrow's moral crisis. Take care.

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minimariah Established Member

minimariah

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this A might be JUST what you need... the motivation you need to finally leave the toxic marriage and to stay gone.

 

good luck. take what you need from this relationship.

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ladydesigner Established Member

ladydesigner

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Have you filed? Are you still living with your husband? Why is your AP ok with having a relationship with another man's wife? Is your relationship out in the open, or is it hidden?

 

Not yet I am about to file. I will be working financials out with my dad and start my exit. I have to make sure me and the kids will be ok first.

 

I don't think OM is ok with me being married and has made a few comments about it. This thing is honestly going no where but I know what I need to do!

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ladydesigner Established Member

ladydesigner

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Just start doing to your husband what Nicklee's wife is doing to him. Flaunt your affair in his face. Get dolled up and leave for the weekend. Your husband will soon buckle and give you a divorce.

 

Would love the divorce!

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ladydesigner Established Member

ladydesigner

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Keep your eyes open. I think the danger is getting the intimacy overload that you've been missing can and will cause you to overlook serious red flags. Desperate people do desperate thing that have worse outcomes then the current situation.

 

Thank you DKT3 I am despondent and desperate. I should focus on D and therapy!

Cephalopod Established Member

Cephalopod

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Would love the divorce!

 

Why can't you just have the courage to be up front with your husband and family and tell them you have fallen in love with a new man and that you are seeking a divorce?

 

You will be vilified by your husband and maybe his family, but you may just have to be the bad guy if you want your freedom. I mean, c'mon, you don't think he's going to know the minute you move in with the OM after the divorce petition is filed? He's going to find out sometime. Might as well tell him now and get it over with.

Edited by Cephalopod
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ladydesigner Established Member

ladydesigner

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Why can't you just have the courage to be up front with your husband and family and tell them you have fallen in love with a new man and that you are seeking a divorce?

 

You will be vilified by your husband and maybe his family, but you may just have to be the bad guy if you want your freedom. I mean, c'mon, you don't think he's going to know the minute you move in with the OM after the divorce petition is filed? He's going to find out sometime. Might as well tell him now and get it over with.

 

I am at the point where I don't really care what I look like. I feel like I have been abused by this man for so long I just want out!

Furious Established Member

Furious

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LD

 

You got a taste of feeling loved and that has given you the gumption to leave your marraige.

 

But...but...red flag...red flag.....

 

You've always been worthy of love and respect....and putting that on someone else is a red flag.

 

Leave for YOU

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ladydesigner Established Member

ladydesigner

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LD

 

You got a taste of feeling loved and that has given you the gumption to leave your marraige.

 

But...but...red flag...red flag.....

 

You've always been worthy of love and respect....and putting that on someone else is a red flag.

 

Leave for YOU

 

Yes that is what I will be doing. I don't think this man has any interest in me long-term. All of this is one big red flag I am waving here and now I need to get out and get help. That is my plan. I want to live a peaceful and happy life and I haven't had that for a pretty long time.

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