mikeylo Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 Well,no one can turn someone into something but ever been with such a guy who turned from being a non commital guy to fully committed? While it's more men but I guess there is a small number of women also who are scared to commit. My brother, well into his 50s is one such guy. It's actually sickening to see him as well as feel sorry for him. Apart from his issues , is it that he hasn't met the right woman yet , for whom he would want to commit ? Does it even happen in real life ( on Internet articles it does ! lol) that when such woman comes along , all his issues go away ? Any success ? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Peach Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 My experience with these men (two are good friends of mine) is they they don't commit and are emotionally unavailable. Natalie Lue writes a lot of what she calls "Mr. Unavailable". 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Larryville Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 Ditto what MP said: Dudes… well anyone who is the classic “emotionally unavailable” types extraordinarily selfish, perfectionist types, usually kinda emotionally abusive. A quote about EA types: Emotionally unavailable people see a relationship as a source of comfort — something to occupy their time until something better comes along. Some women are attracted to these types because they are usually aloof, mysterious (which seems attractive on the surface) and they think they can change these types when they will only pull you down a rabbit hole. Does it even happen in real life ( on Internet articles it does ! lol) that when such woman comes along , all his issues go away ? Absolutely not! It's a personality flaw/trait. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 snip Apart from his issues , is it that he hasn't met the right woman yet , for whom he would want to commit ? Does it even happen in real life ( on Internet articles it does ! lol) that when such woman comes along , *all his issues go away ? Any success ? No. He is today the same person he was yesterday, and he'll be that person tomorrow. Take care. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
cocorico Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 Well,no one can turn someone into something but ever been with such a guy who turned from being a non commital guy to fully committed? While it's more men but I guess there is a small number of women also who are scared to commit. My brother, well into his 50s is one such guy. It's actually sickening to see him as well as feel sorry for him. Apart from his issues , is it that he hasn't met the right woman yet , for whom he would want to commit ? Does it even happen in real life ( on Internet articles it does ! lol) that when such woman comes along , all his issues go away ? Any success ? That would be me. I was totally anti-commitment, and look at me now. Happily M for several years now... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mikeylo Posted November 15, 2016 Author Share Posted November 15, 2016 Does it mean that they stay alone for the rest of their lives ? No hope ? Can't a woman be atleast an inspiration to change and commit to her ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mikeylo Posted November 15, 2016 Author Share Posted November 15, 2016 That would be me. I was totally anti-commitment, and look at me now. Happily M for several years now... How did it happen ? Link to post Share on other sites
lucy_in_disguise Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 I think age and where they are in life is important. Younger guys and men who don't feel like they know what they're doing with their lives may not be ready for commitment for different reasons than men in their 40's or 50''s who don't want to settle down or are not capable of the level of emotional intimacy required for a long term relationship. If he's never been married or in a serious long term relationship and he's past the age of 35, I think it's safe to assume there's not much hope for him to become available for the right person. Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 Oh, how kind you think of your brother.. IMO, it takes more courage to go it alone...and, as long as you're not stringing someone along on false promises, you have a right to live single till you croak. It depends... I've seen myself bend my requirements at times cuz I was really into some guys, so it's possible... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 Oh it happens sometimes. Might be a particular woman that provides the inspiration, or it might be that he just decides it's time to give it a try. But the emotionally unavailable or avoidant types are not likely to suddenly become the opposite even if they decide to commit. They get married and continue to be the same aloof person they always were. Bernardo Bertolucci made a great film about that. . Said to be in the top 10 most beautiful movies of all time. Definitely a classic. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 I can't comment on a guy who's 50yo. But I've certainly seen men in their 20's and 30's suddenly change and settle down for the right woman. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
DrReplyInRhymes Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 Just as every blind squirrel can find an acorn every so often, so can a noncommittal man be changed toward commitment. I mean, just look at EVERY SINGLE ****ING GUY BEFORE MARRIAGE. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 The commitment *IS* to the self. ergo- the person is self reliant. I do know some folks that "should" be committed, but that is at a facility of course! Link to post Share on other sites
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