nvs13 Posted November 14, 2016 Posted November 14, 2016 I met this guy about 3 weeks ago, through two of our mutual friends while we were both in Nashville. Neither of us live there, though. He asked around for my number, texted me, we hung out the whole weekend, and right away asked me if I was looking for a boyfriend. We really hit it off and he invited me to visit him in Dallas. Fast forward, when we both left Nashville that first week we were talking pretty regularly and trying to plan a trip but whenever I gave him set dates that could work he would have something else planned. I know its a big commitment having me visit, so I was giving him the benefit of the doubt. About a week ago, he texted me asking if we could schedule a trip after his brother has his baby and I said sure, thats probably a better idea. The baby was just born yesterday, and I don’t know if he will follow up because we don’t text very regularly. (We both hate it, but I still expected more communication than this:/) I feel as though he’s lost interest but I do want to make a visit happen but don’t want to be pushy. Help please!
LastAcorn99 Posted November 15, 2016 Posted November 15, 2016 I can understand your confusion. Since you guys are probably still exploring the possibility of developing a relationship, I would suggest that you just ask him upfront instead of guessing. This way you’re sure where things are headed, or not. All the best!
hippychick3 Posted November 15, 2016 Posted November 15, 2016 I would allow him to initiate the invitation again. If he wants to see you badly enough, he will ask you to visit (although I think he should be visiting you). Let him be the one to pursue you. 1
Versacehottie Posted November 15, 2016 Posted November 15, 2016 I would allow him to initiate the invitation again. If he wants to see you badly enough, he will ask you to visit (although I think he should be visiting you). Let him be the one to pursue you. I agree. I think you should lower your expectations. That's not for a bad reason. I'm just thinking realistically at a long distance from him you are not a priority...yet. I don't think you should act or give him gf behavior just yet, i.e. don't be waiting or expecting communication from him like you are already a couple. That will just put a damper on things and remind him that he doesn't have to pursue you (i.e. you are already his and thus almost a burden). He sounds interested enough, but at best long distance can be hard. Keep your expectations in line and I'd stick with the always reliable: let them pursue you. That ALWAYS susses out the real deal: if he's interested and planning to pursue, he will. If he's not, it will get dropped from his to-do list. Better than being strung along at a distance.
EmilyJane Posted November 15, 2016 Posted November 15, 2016 (edited) Honey it's not actually about you. It's logistic and convienience. This is not something that is going anywhere anytime soon. Trying to establish a relationship long distance is just unlikely to happen. Move on sweetie. Go do stuff you enjoy. Don't message. Fill your life up with good stuff to do and don't hang around waiting for him. Don't reply to quickly when he texts some night he's lonely and horny. Turn the tables. Be slightly distant but friendly. Wait two hours before responding to any contact. You haven't been giving him any room to pursue you as you are too instantly available and instantly available for a relationship. He was into you but he's lazy and the distance is too hard and it's too big a commitment to invite someone you know to come and stay to see if you can have a relationship. It's too much pressure and hassle for him. And it wouldn't have been very good for you. Try and lower your expectations of guys and avoid instant boyfriend offers. Don't jump into things. Take the time to get to know people for who they are and let interested suitors earn your trust. If you're fulfilled in your life and no longer acting like a girl desperate to lock in any suitable guy and evaluating their character and compatibility over a long period you will attract much more genuine and meaningful relationships Edited November 15, 2016 by EmilyJane 2
Erik30 Posted November 15, 2016 Posted November 15, 2016 He's probably having some doubts. You coming all the way over seems like a bigger commitment than just a night of hanging out.
ElizabethIII Posted November 15, 2016 Posted November 15, 2016 I would allow him to initiate the invitation again. If he wants to see you badly enough, he will ask you to visit (although I think he should be visiting you). Let him be the one to pursue you. I agree with this. I have learned this the hardway. I used to text and remind and ask. Now if I dont hear from then, I leave it alone, I fall off the face of the earth. I have to say that they tend to come back more often if you do that.
basil67 Posted November 15, 2016 Posted November 15, 2016 Given the distance, I'd caution you against getting your hopes up about him wanting a dating type thing. He could be well viewing it as more of a holiday fling. (That said, I could be projecting because I've never considered actually dating anyone I had a holiday fling with) 2
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