VY29 Posted November 14, 2016 Posted November 14, 2016 After dating a guy for 7 years, he selfishly left me because he loves himself and his ambitions more than me. I have never made him choose between his ambitions and me but for some reason he doesn't think he could be with me. In my defense I have always supported him and even join him in his activities like how he wanted. Unfortunately, the day before our wedding, he had his family tell me that he was no longer agreeing to marrying me. I was devastated, it hurt so much to be thrown away after investing so much. The last thing he said was "I'm sorry", while smiling and almost chuckling. I cried that whole day and every other night for a month or two. There were two people that I confided in because they were my friends, and they reached out to me when no one else did. I trust and respect both of them very well. The first one, I realized that I really like his personality and sense of humor before my break up. He was just someone you love to be around because he was fun. I never liked him more than just a friend though, and I never thought of there being a possibility because he is dating a friend from our group. I know he really loves his girlfriend and he doesn't think of me in that way, but I love the way he cares for me and treats me. I'm afraid that if I become too selfish I might ruin our relationship and his with his partner. I want him to keep texting me and take me out and make me feel special like the way he does. I have not been texting him more than 5 times a week, and I've kept it friendly because I can't afford to lose our relationship. But if I'm honest, if he asked me to sleep with him, I would. The second person, I can't say that I personally really like him or his character in a way where it's not friendly. He has always been a friend and I have never seen him as anything else, mostly because he has a wife and children. He is a really successful man though, and a person who is really capable of great things, so I do admire him. He texts me more often that the other friend and he calls me. Recently we went out, it was supposed to be with other people but they bailed, and while we drank, things got slightly more intimate. I can't really tell if he's just being a good friend or wanting more. That night we talked about our sex lives and fantasies. When we got more buzzed, I could feel his hands at places where it wasn't friendly, but not quite where it was sexual. He grabbed my hand and at one point my waist. We were playing billiards and truth or dare so we laughed and had a great time. I honestly really enjoyed that night. He complimented my body, what I was wearing, what my perfume smelled like, my makeup, my composure, and many close whispers in the ear. When he left, I had a rude awakening, realizing that he was going home to his lovely wife and beautiful children and I was going home to no one. I love the way it feels to be out with him, and when he texts me and calls me, but then again, I love his wife and children, they are amazing people. I can't break their family. I want to pretend I don't think he's coming on me so I can continue to be his friend and get attention from him without making him cheat. I understand that all I want is the attention and affection I crave due to the lack of it in my long relationship where I gave all the affection. I never thought in my life that I would fall prey to men due to my vulnerability. I am young and in my prime, I am small and slim but have enough to be curvy in my hips, booty, and breasts. I think that I'm not ugly nor do I have an awful personality and I don't need anyone to validate my features, but I feel so lonely. I haven't been wanting to meet anyone new, and I don't really let guys get close cause I never get interested. I think the honest reason is because I still want to get back with the jerk who left me. He's still around because we hang out with the same people, but he doesn't want to be with me. I know what I should do, but I would love some support and community input since I haven't talked to anyone about this. Thanks.
mikeylo Posted November 14, 2016 Posted November 14, 2016 Do yourself a favor and stop all contact with these men to avoid being used by them and feeling worse than you already are. Next, get some counseling.
elaine567 Posted November 14, 2016 Posted November 14, 2016 I am sorry but why are you relying on those two guys who are both attached and who will no doubt swoop in and try to sleep with you given half the chance. Vulnerable, hurt, upset and emotionally fragile women are just perfect cheating partners and get targeted by men looking for "extra". They are pretending that they are just helping you out, and you are pretending that they are true friends... Stay away from both of these guys, this story has pending disaster written all over it.
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