thecrucible Posted November 14, 2016 Posted November 14, 2016 I had an interesting Saturday night this week. I met up with a bunch of friends and we went to a few bars and eventually ended up at a local nightclub. I was still dressed in my running clothes as I'd just gone straight out after the gym, so I probably looked quite odd among everyone in stunning dresses and amazing shoes haha...anyway I'll get to the point. My friends went away every so often for cigarette breaks (I don't smoke) so to stave off boredom I spoke with a few regulars I knew from different nights out. I started chatting to this guy wearing a leather aviator-style jacket and his friend. I went over just to compliment him on it as I have a nerdy interest in aviation history. We chatted for a bit about various topics, what we do for a living and that kind of thing. I'd only approached him to be friendly and not to flirt and he didn't flirt with me either. So I was taken aback when he said he wanted to give me his number. He put his digits and name in my phone as 'Josh'. Anyway, not sure whether or not to text him and what opener to use if I do? Btw I'm quite down to earth and don't expect men to make every move. I'm just not used to this kind of thing as usually I might get asked for my number if he's interested in me. Not that that yields particularly great results. haha
Gr8fuln2020 Posted November 14, 2016 Posted November 14, 2016 This is certainly an invite to contact him, but a take it or leave it attitude. He's waiting for you to make contact, of course as he didn't get your number. The ball is in your court, if interested. 3
Shanex Posted November 14, 2016 Posted November 14, 2016 Text him with the youtube link of Top Guns 'Take my breath away'. He's waiting for you to text, surely. Calling might be too blunt, unless you hate texts, but he's suggesting you guys communicate and why not have a date outside of your circle of friends. Say 'hey Josh, I'm the lady who mentioned about your leather jacket and had a good times talking to ya.. what's up with you?' Keep it short, witty and funny. 2
Author thecrucible Posted November 14, 2016 Author Posted November 14, 2016 Thanks for your input, guys. Unfortunately I accidentally called him earlier. I was trying to copy and paste his number and my iPhone called it. Oh well. All I can do is laugh now. I just hung up as soon as it started calling. haha I managed to find his Facebook profile (I didn't add him). I know it's a bit OTT but curiosity takes over. My friend and I were just chatting about it. I can only see two public photos and in one of them, there are several shots of him kissing a girl in a car who has the same kind of hair and eyes as me but better looking I would say. Then I clicked on her name and her cover photo posted on 1 November is that same photo. Her profile says 'in a relationship' but his says 'single'. Hmm that looks kind of sketchy. I think I might just not text him at all now. 2
Author thecrucible Posted November 14, 2016 Author Posted November 14, 2016 Keep it short, witty and funny. I agree that that method is best. It's what I would do if I text him. I'm pretty laid back anyway. I feel uncomfortable being overly interested by text so I would just keep it chill and say something I'd probably say if I saw him in person. He does have my number actually as he got my phone to call his phone so it'll be in his missed calls list. As per the above revelation, it's highly likely I'll not do anything about it though.
Marc878 Posted November 14, 2016 Posted November 14, 2016 IMO if I was interested I would be calling you. 2
Shanex Posted November 14, 2016 Posted November 14, 2016 Sorry to hear that the guy is yet another chucklehead who has a girlfriend and when she turns her back he's up late at night partying and flirting. You deserve better. 1
Author thecrucible Posted November 14, 2016 Author Posted November 14, 2016 Sorry to hear that the guy is yet another chucklehead who has a girlfriend and when she turns her back he's up late at night partying and flirting. You deserve better. I know. I feel more sorry for her. I'll delete his number from my phone. I don't feel bad about what I've found as I'm on high alert about certain behaviours from guys (think I've swallowed too many dating books by now). Plus he is good looking but I didn't approach him for his looks. Hard to believe but being in gym gear, I really wasn't looking to pull. Honestly I almost cried earlier that day because someone told me that an acquaintance of mine had made a rude comment about me putting on weight (she asked if my weight gain was due to pregnancy) and then kept on going on about my appearance. I kept my composure because they had called me at work but gee that was harsh. Then during that night I saw an ex of mine. Well kind of. We'd gone on a few so-called dates but never went beyond kissing. Something felt dodgy about him so I stopped texting with him. Anyway I found out he'd had sex with a 16 year old (he's almost 30) and got a sick taste in my mouth and on Saturday night he was with yet another woman. There are too many dodgy guys out there. Thank God I haven't been closely involved with them.
Author thecrucible Posted November 14, 2016 Author Posted November 14, 2016 IMO if I was interested I would be calling you. or at least text? IMO (maybe this is just where I live), guys have never called me even if interested (including ex bfs when we started dating). I think calling is falling out of fashion unfortunately but if the guy likes me enough he has always been willing to call if he knows I appreciate it.
dispatch3d Posted November 14, 2016 Posted November 14, 2016 My vote is text him a hey whats up, have a brief 3-4 text conversation, then ask him out on a date. But hey I'm a dude just telling you what I'd do in this situation. Your mileage will vary. 1
joseb Posted November 14, 2016 Posted November 14, 2016 Sorry to hear that the guy is yet another chucklehead who has a girlfriend and when she turns her back he's up late at night partying and flirting. You deserve better. Is there a missing or deleted post that discusses a girlfriend? Cause all I see is some Facebook pics that could be anything. And I would think that if a guy was trying to appear single when he wasn't he would be clever enough to hide incriminating pics on Facebook. By the way op, what you do in that situation next time is call him as he gives the number so you both have them. 1
Author thecrucible Posted November 14, 2016 Author Posted November 14, 2016 By the way op, what you do in that situation next time is call him as he gives the number so you both have them. We did do that at the time so he should have my number.
Herbalist Posted November 14, 2016 Posted November 14, 2016 Is there a missing or deleted post that discusses a girlfriend? Cause all I see is some Facebook pics that could be anything. And I would think that if a guy was trying to appear single when he wasn't he would be clever enough to hide incriminating pics on Facebook. Well it would be a bit weird otherwise. If the girl's FB cover photo is her and Josh kissing, says she is in a relationship, but Josh is not her boyfriend. I've seen stranger things, though, so hey.
RecentChange Posted November 14, 2016 Posted November 14, 2016 Well obviously this sounds like case closed for the OP - but I wanted to chime in on this giving out numbers business. Maybe it's regional? Maybe it's because I am in "Man Jose" (there are a lot more 25-35 year old guys than gals here) - guys giving out their number is pretty common place here. I think it's non threatening, it lessens their chance for immediate rejection. Instead of saying "let me get your number" they say "heres my card". Then it's up to you if you want to reach out or not, and you aren't put on the spot to hand out your number. Besides, then you have their first and last name.... place of work. You get to Google them and see if they are a creeper Hell, some guy passed me his card this weekend without even asking - he recommended a cocktail (after a brief discussion about gins) - I was ordering, he was closing out - he passed me his card and said "if you don't like it, it's on me". 2
smackie9 Posted November 14, 2016 Posted November 14, 2016 Ya he gave you his number to measure your level of interest...remember you didn't flirt or anything. Not every guy has confidence to ask for a girl's number.
Shanex Posted November 14, 2016 Posted November 14, 2016 Is there a missing or deleted post that discusses a girlfriend? Cause all I see is some Facebook pics that could be anything. And I would think that if a guy was trying to appear single when he wasn't he would be clever enough to hide incriminating pics on Facebook. Facebook pics are usually dated. Not every guys are that clever Did he imagine the OP would eventually find out his FB profile when they weren't friends in the first place?
SpiralOut Posted November 14, 2016 Posted November 14, 2016 Maybe they recently broke up and that's his ex-girlfriend not wanting to admit that it's over. But if you have a bad feeling about it, trust your instincts.
joseb Posted November 14, 2016 Posted November 14, 2016 (edited) Facebook pics are usually dated. Not every guys are that clever Did he imagine the OP would eventually find out his FB profile when they weren't friends in the first place? They are public pics, anyone can see them. My point is if he is in a relationship and up to no good this would be really really dumb. But yeah. Maybe he is Ok edit. I didn't see that the girl had the same photo posted recently. That changes things. Edited November 14, 2016 by joseb 1
Author thecrucible Posted November 15, 2016 Author Posted November 15, 2016 Maybe they recently broke up and that's his ex-girlfriend not wanting to admit that it's over. But if you have a bad feeling about it, trust your instincts. I don't want to be too judgemental but there were other things about his profile I wasn't sure about. I mean he is smoking in some of his public pics as well and I wouldn't judge a guy who was my friend smoking but I wouldn't want a boyfriend who smokes. With the regards the ex situation, it's not as if I wouldn't expect a guy to not have them but if it's recent, it seems like a bad idea. I once cancelled an online date with a guy because he told me the name of his ex when we Skype called and it turned out to be someone I know. Also I actually don't know if he even asked me my name to be honest. It was almost 2 o'clock in the morning.
JasonBourne Posted November 15, 2016 Posted November 15, 2016 Well it would be a bit weird otherwise. If the girl's FB cover photo is her and Josh kissing, says she is in a relationship, but Josh is not her boyfriend. I've seen stranger things, though, so hey. I've seen Stranger Things too. Millie Bobby Brown is definitely one to watch
JasonBourne Posted November 15, 2016 Posted November 15, 2016 I think you've analysed the situation too much. Pics could mean anything. Text him. Or don't.
Popsicle Posted November 15, 2016 Posted November 15, 2016 Whenever a guy gives me his number I volley right back, here's my number too. 2
preraph Posted November 15, 2016 Posted November 15, 2016 I think it's great he gave you his number, but first you have to fish around and find out if he already has a woman before you do anything. Then text him and say hi and that it was nice to meet him and you might invite him to a group happy hour or something like that.
dispatch3d Posted November 15, 2016 Posted November 15, 2016 I think it's great he gave you his number, but first you have to fish around and find out if he already has a woman before you do anything. Then text him and say hi and that it was nice to meet him and you might invite him to a group happy hour or something like that. Wouldnt you prefer a date? I say ask for that! But don't call it one haha.
Author thecrucible Posted November 15, 2016 Author Posted November 15, 2016 I think it's great he gave you his number, but first you have to fish around and find out if he already has a woman before you do anything. Then text him and say hi and that it was nice to meet him and you might invite him to a group happy hour or something like that. Hm I could try my best to fish around but we don't have any mutual friends. He said he uses the same gym as me though. haha Maybe I'll see him there?
Recommended Posts