Lost the love of my life

[Annaroyal]

Hi guys,

 

so I had been dating this guy for 3 years. It was probably the most amazing 3 years of my life, we were best friends, never got tired of being around each other, and he was my main support and I his throughout our whole relationship. About a year and a half ago I started to get very moody, I would get annoyed with him for no reason, pick fights for no reason, cry for no reason and just get in a negative attitude for no reason, he was so good about it always trying to make me happy. We had multiple talks about me having to change my attitude or this relationship wasn’t going to work out, I always said I would try but I never did, because it would only happen once or twice a month and he always supported me through it. This guy loved me to death. We both thought we were going to be together forever. One night, two weeks ago, I was at his place and I completely snapped over there being zero clean dishes after bringing us dinner. I don’t even know why I was so mad but I told him that we were done and left his house. I called and called after leaving his house and I didn’t even know why I had snapped the way I did. We met up to talk 2 days later and he was crying his eyes out, he said he needed some time, and that he just couldn’t do it anymore. It was devastating, I was begging for him back saying I wanted another chance to show him I could change, but with university, and work he said he just couldn’t do it anymore. My heart was in a million pieces, as we both don’t even know what to do without each other. About a week after the breakup I started doing research on girls being irritable and moody, and it turns out the birth control I was on was a cause of a lot of unexplained outbursts, negative attitude, crying for no reason etc. I had never thought what I was experiencing may have been a side effect of me taking such a high dose of hormones (one of the highest on the market). I’m also about to start counselling to determine why exactly I was so unhappy and so irritable with such an amazing guy.. Do you think I have the possibility of another chance ? we have spoken once since the breakup and he said he misses me. Then he told me that he needed some time to reflect on everything but he is so busy right now. I didn’t reply to his message asking for space then later that night he texted me saying “I want you to know I’m thinking of you” we both love each other so much, he’s my best friend and i don’t want to live without him, do you think I could get another chance once I go to counselling and let him know that i want to TRY this time, I don’t want to give up this relationship if our only issue is something I am willing to work on

[fromheart]

First step is to get off the pill, its nasty stuff as far as I'm concerned.

 

Get to counseling, get yourself physically and mentally healthy. Do these things for YOU. Be your own therapist, your own best friend.

 

Your ex might not come back, but the best thing to do is to let him know that you're working on yourself, you're interested in him romantically and do not want to be friends. He can let you know if he wants to be with you. Then walk away and mean it, complete NC.

 

But remember to do the self work for yourself first. Worst case, you will feel alot better about yourself and life and be able to apply what you've learned to a new relationship.

[Sweetfish]

Give him space... I think he needs the time to reflect.

I believe for men it's 3-4 weeks to process in these types of situations.

 

At the same time reflect on your self and improve your self. Don't beg or be desperate.. it's a turn-off. I understand the birth control could have cause these problems... but you need more time to think about what has happen and how it affect him.

[Satu]

Concentrate on getting physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy.

 

Much good will come of that.

 

 

Take care.