Author luvflower Posted November 15, 2016 Author Posted November 15, 2016 (edited) I think you should not hang out with this man ever again. Married men that cheat are very manipulative and it is much harder to get out once you have feelings for them. I know you haven't confirmed he's a cheater, but your instinct is tell you something is off, and usually it's right. There's a likely chance if he is a cheater that he's done this before. Trust me, I don't intend to hang out (work on music) with him ever again. Yes,my instincts have served me well when I pay attention to them. That's key! And i have a pretty good poker face /demeanor. Enough to not let him know ,that I know /think I know what he's up to. Edited November 15, 2016 by luvflower 1
rester Posted November 15, 2016 Posted November 15, 2016 Hello all. I recently started working with a guy who's married, but he's been giving some weird/interesting vibes. When I first started working at this place of employment he was already there. We work on a team together periodically. He's started the conversation about family, asked about whether or not I was married ,have kids, etc. Cool. We had the discussion about us both and family in general...no big deal. But periodically I'll ask about his family and he will make reference to his kids and never his wife. Early on he made a comment implying that there was a strain on the relationship w/wife but nothing further since then. We find out we have a similar interests in music. He plays guitar. I play piano.So he invited me to his home to create some music. I suggested he could create before I got there but he insisted he wait for me so that we could create together. So I agreed ,thinking I'd meet his family and all. It ended up being super late like 10:30 but it's normal for me since I'm single and have played in clubs and what not. But when I got there, no one else was around plus it was all dark... He had a studio on one end of his home. I never saw or heard anyone. What's with all that. It sounds like you handled things well and I would also have expected his family to be there. I'm curious why you didn't ask him where they were? That would have been my first reaction along with "does your wife know I'm here?" I'm not saying you did anything wrong. I'm genuinely curious why you didn't ask him about this at the time. 2
Springsummer Posted November 15, 2016 Posted November 15, 2016 OP...Love your user name. I used to use similar names in forums. probably we have kindred spirit. There are 3 things in this world that the sights of them make me feel instantly happen from the inside. 1. Children 2. Flower 3. Pet 2
Author luvflower Posted November 15, 2016 Author Posted November 15, 2016 It sounds like you handled things well and I would also have expected his family to be there. I'm curious why you didn't ask him where they were? That would have been my first reaction along with "does your wife know I'm here?" I'm not saying you did anything wrong. I'm genuinely curious why you didn't ask him about this at the time. No offense taken. Glad you asked, because I didnt explain those Details. Initially I want going to go because it was getting later and he said he had to work a second job earlier. So I was like, let's just reschedule diner is getting later and I want to reflect your family by it getting late. He kept insisting that it was fine that I come over then. He wasn't tired and suggested I come over in spite of the time. So once I arrived I just assumed everyone was sleep. And that the wife was just watching the kids on the other side of the house, as I mentioned before .The studio was sound proof,mostly as well... Maybe it was naive of me,but that was my thinking. 1
l8estnews Posted November 15, 2016 Posted November 15, 2016 Threads like this goes back to my never-ending question. Do you think majority of guys are like these? I mean, it's very hard to trust nowadays. It's like the ration of cheaters and decent guys are just 1:2 or 1:1..... It's really hard to trust nowadays, and this is the major factor that I detest relationships to the brim. Finding guys who can commit to only one is a rare breed, like this sort of man only exist in legends nowadays.
stillafool Posted November 15, 2016 Posted November 15, 2016 (edited) Threads like this goes back to my never-ending question. Do you think majority of guys are like these? I mean, it's very hard to trust nowadays. It's like the ration of cheaters and decent guys are just 1:2 or 1:1..... It's really hard to trust nowadays, and this is the major factor that I detest relationships to the brim. Finding guys who can commit to only one is a rare breed, like this sort of man only exist in legends nowadays. There are some very good men out there who are faithful to their wives and girlfriends so don't be discouraged. It isn't about trusting a man it's about trusting yourself and your instincts to make good decisions. BTW if you read around LS you will see that there are just as many women who cheat. Edited November 15, 2016 by stillafool 1
sandylee1 Posted November 15, 2016 Posted November 15, 2016 What's so ironic is that he asked me so many times if I wanted/needed anything: wine(but he realized I don't drink), fruit, water, "are you sure? ....are you sure you're sure??" Something that nighe told me to grab something to eat and drink before I got to his place... So glad i did. Even when he kept asking if I needed stuff,something told me to refuse... Wow @ retrospective thoughts... Plus he had you in a sound proof room. I'm glad you got out of there safely. 4
Author luvflower Posted November 16, 2016 Author Posted November 16, 2016 Plus he had you in a sound proof room. I'm glad you got out of there safely. I know right....me too.
Author luvflower Posted November 16, 2016 Author Posted November 16, 2016 A sound proof room? Not good! And he may have. Even offering you drinks to slip something in it. And now he may be trying to figure out when he can have you there when his family won't know. Stay FAR away! This reeks of all things not good. Yeah. Thanks, I will definitely keep my distance in terms of outside of work. At work though, we have to interact periodically.
LastAcorn99 Posted November 16, 2016 Posted November 16, 2016 It looks like you’re a very grounded person, and it’s admirable how you’re handing this awkward situation. I would suggest that you keep your interactions with this man, or any married man for that matter, to work related matter. Stay strong, be wise, and take good care of yourself. 2
Herbalist Posted November 16, 2016 Posted November 16, 2016 I tell ya what don't let it destroy your soul or anything, but if you ever want to lose a layer of naivety, browse the "strictly platonic" section of Craigslist. In the vast majority of areas you will find married guys looking for a "special friend" who just so happens to be female. Here is where I have to confess a little. I love trolling amoral idiots on Craigslist. Yes a sick and twisted little pastime of mine, but I must confess it in order to explain. So these guys, I respond to their ads and make it clear that I am also interested in just a new friend. It rarely takes more than 3 emails before it becomes extremely clear that they are looking for a secret F buddy. (And that's when I pretend to be their wife having caught them and watch them melt down, because part of me is secretly the devil complete with the diabolical cackling.) Another common one is that they will make posts claiming that they are in a terrible marriage, "oh woe is me!" in essence, and they just need a female to talk to, someone who can explain things to them, they are just so sad and distraught, they just need someone to talk to. Those ones go the exact same way. 2
niji Posted November 16, 2016 Posted November 16, 2016 I love trolling amoral idiots on Craigslist. Yes a sick and twisted little pastime of mine, but I must confess it in order to explain. So these guys, I respond to their ads and make it clear that I am also interested in just a new friend. It rarely takes more than 3 emails before it becomes extremely clear that they are looking for a secret F buddy. (And that's when I pretend to be their wife having caught them and watch them melt down, because part of me is secretly the devil complete with the diabolical cackling) Wow, craigslist never fails to blow my mind. I went on there to see if that's a common thing, and sure enough it was. Insane!! I don't know if I'd ever do what you're doing, but I can't help having the slightest sense of satisfaction that these pieces of **** may be feeling the chill down their spine. LOVE.IT. (even though I shouldn't). 2
surferchic Posted November 16, 2016 Posted November 16, 2016 Threads like this goes back to my never-ending question. Do you think majority of guys are like these? I mean, it's very hard to trust nowadays. It's like the ration of cheaters and decent guys are just 1:2 or 1:1..... It's really hard to trust nowadays, and this is the major factor that I detest relationships to the brim. Finding guys who can commit to only one is a rare breed, like this sort of man only exist in legends nowadays. I'm totally with you on this. I've posed the exact same question either in LS or in real time, on numerous occasions. People have been conditioned to getting their needs met so instantaneously partially due to technology. And it doesn't help when there's a woman or man willing to be JUST a side piece. For some single people, all they deal with is married people... 1
Author luvflower Posted November 16, 2016 Author Posted November 16, 2016 (edited) I'm totally with you on this. I've posed the exact same question either in LS or in real time, on numerous occasions. People have been conditioned to getting their needs met so instantaneously partially due to technology. And it doesn't help when there's a woman or man willing to be JUST a side piece. For some single people, all they deal with is married people... So true. It makes relationships in general, difficult and scary. I think it's going to take a huge "love" revolution almost and/or a major mind shift. If women keep entertaining married men ,then married men will continue to indulge. And vice for entertaining married women. Goes both ways of course. Right now our nation is headed in a very scary direction with regard to relationships and marriage. Edited November 16, 2016 by luvflower
stillafool Posted November 16, 2016 Posted November 16, 2016 Men have had mistresses and side women for centuries. It's doubtful it will stop. Peoples morals are worse now than ever. 3
Author luvflower Posted November 17, 2016 Author Posted November 17, 2016 Life is crazy. So this evening while I was in store doing a bit of shopping this guy is staring at me . I ignore. He then starts complimenting me on my hair.I say thanks and I keep walking. Heven then asked where I got my hair done.....?? I noticed he's well groomed and easy on the eye. But I also noticed that he kept looking behind himself/over his shoulder literally. So he casually walks away after I keep looking for my items and not at him. So once I'm done on this particular Isle, what do ya know? He's walking beside his S.O. of some sort. That's why he kept looking paranoid.... he didn't wanna get caught flOrting. Smh.....that was mad disrespectful ....
Author luvflower Posted November 17, 2016 Author Posted November 17, 2016 Life is crazy. So this evening while I was in store doing a bit of shopping this guy is staring at me . I ignore. He then starts complimenting me on my hair.I say thanks and I keep walking. Heven then asked where I got my hair done.....?? I noticed he's well groomed and easy on the eye. But I also noticed that he kept looking behind himself/over his shoulder literally. So he casually walks away after I keep looking for my items and not at him. So once I'm done on this particular Isle, what do ya know? He's walking beside his S.O. of some sort. That's why he kept looking paranoid.... he didn't wanna get caught flOrting. Smh.....that was mad disrespectful .... Excuse Typo: "flirting "
Author luvflower Posted November 17, 2016 Author Posted November 17, 2016 Excuse Typo: "flirting " Another typi: isle,should be aisle of course
callmesally Posted November 17, 2016 Posted November 17, 2016 Similar thing happened to me(hit on by married men) on a few occasions, but theyou were honest about their intentions. Didn't make it any better, but at least it allowed me to make a decision to either be involved or not,with either of them.
Author luvflower Posted November 18, 2016 Author Posted November 18, 2016 Similar thing happened to me(hit on by married men) on a few occasions, but theyou were honest about their intentions. Didn't make it any better, but at least it allowed me to make a decision to either be involved or not,with either of them. Yeah, I think that's what more frustrating for women who actually get involved with married men. Thankfully, I'm not involved with one. And don't plan to. We all had a meeting yesterday where he asked again if I could meet this weekend. I said No,I couldn't.He wants me.to let him know when I have time again. I don't plan to do that. 1
muse08 Posted November 21, 2016 Posted November 21, 2016 Life is crazy. So this evening while I was in store doing a bit of shopping this guy is staring at me . I ignore. He then starts complimenting me on my hair.I say thanks and I keep walking. Heven then asked where I got my hair done.....?? I noticed he's well groomed and easy on the eye. But I also noticed that he kept looking behind himself/over his shoulder literally. So he casually walks away after I keep looking for my items and not at him. So once I'm done on this particular Isle, what do ya know? He's walking beside his S.O. of some sort. That's why he kept looking paranoid.... he didn't wanna get caught flOrting. Smh.....that was mad disrespectful .... Smh...Typical of a cheating dog. His wife is probably clueless. His girlfriend (I'm sure he has one/some) probably knows what he's all about.
Author luvflower Posted November 22, 2016 Author Posted November 22, 2016 Smh...Typical of a cheating dog. His wife is probably clueless. His girlfriend (I'm sure he has one/some) probably knows what he's all about. Yep I'm sure of it. Shameless.
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