Black Cement Posted November 13, 2016 Posted November 13, 2016 (edited) I had a first date with a girl I met online today. We were supposed to meet but unfortunate events went down. She canceled the last minute a couple of weeks ago. Then we were supposed to meet again today. I told her to meet me at a certain spot, but she was running late. So I left and waited upstairs and to texted her where I was. An hour later goes by I call and an Uber driver says the girl he drove left her phone in his car. She's not a the meeting spot & something seems fishy. My friends were telling me maybe she's faking it, and I'm getting catfished. She texts me from her sisters phone, but I asked her to take a selfie so i know she's not lying. She refuses & her sister grabs the phone goes off on me via text, blah blah blah. She gets her phone from the Uber driver and we talk things over as I try to fix things. I'm suspicious because she does't have a Facebook, and her instagram doesn't have any pictures of her with friends. I've seen catfish episodes, but maybe I'm overthinking this. I told her to call me for the first time tomorrow, or even Skype. She agreed. Am I losing it? Edited November 13, 2016 by Black Cement
Erik30 Posted November 13, 2016 Posted November 13, 2016 So why couldn't she make it? She supposedly forgot her phone, but she should've showed up in that case since she had a ride. I wouldn't be shocked if the "girl" turns out to be that Uber driver. You're right to be suspicious
JasonBourne Posted November 13, 2016 Posted November 13, 2016 So why couldn't she make it? She supposedly forgot her phone, but she should've showed up in that case since she had a ride. I wouldn't be shocked if the "girl" turns out to be that Uber driver. You're right to be suspicious That's what I thought, the mention of the Uber driver was strange.
LookAtThisPOst Posted November 13, 2016 Posted November 13, 2016 That's what I thought, the mention of the Uber driver was strange. LOL...that's how she screens dates, to see if they are hot or not, she's an Uber driver going catfish.
phineas Posted November 13, 2016 Posted November 13, 2016 And this is the problem with online dating and the problem with men who enable these women to keep acting this way. I've had a number of women flake last min. if they cancel without immediately trying to reschedule it's a flake and a few times i've learned they looked nothing like their pics or they were using old pics. The other times? who knows, probably met someone else. I do get hit up by some of those flakes months down the rd presumably because the guy didn't work out. If they reschedule I give them a second chance. But I've learned to make them skype. Women who reschedule then cancel multiple times almost always don't look like their pics or have issues. In this case op her sister goes off on you for asking for a pic? haha. so her, uber, sister....either this chick is a drama-queen or has split personality disorder. Why are you talking to her again and why are YOU trying to fix anything? Grow a set. Asking for a non-nude selfie from a prospective date is not something that should cause this much BS. Women ask me all the time for a pic on the fly because they want to make sure i'm legit. they want to make sure i'm not catfishing them. This chick flaked on you. SHE is the one who should be fixing things. Be a man a bout it. Not a jerk but just a man and show her you don't tolerate flaky women. if she don't skype you tell her to lose your number because her behavior is a massive turn-off. do not engage her in BS text or phone arguments or accuse her of anything. Just drop her. She knows what you want and she knows what she has to do to keep your attention.
Corduroy Posted November 13, 2016 Posted November 13, 2016 (edited) She's drama Edited November 13, 2016 by Corduroy
Popsicle Posted November 13, 2016 Posted November 13, 2016 Where did you meet her online? She doesn't have a car? How old is she? You have two usernames? How old are you? Why can't you just try meet again in person instead of this Skype BS?
Author Black Cement Posted November 13, 2016 Author Posted November 13, 2016 And this is the problem with online dating and the problem with men who enable these women to keep acting this way. I've had a number of women flake last min. if they cancel without immediately trying to reschedule it's a flake and a few times i've learned they looked nothing like their pics or they were using old pics. The other times? who knows, probably met someone else. I do get hit up by some of those flakes months down the rd presumably because the guy didn't work out. If they reschedule I give them a second chance. But I've learned to make them skype. Women who reschedule then cancel multiple times almost always don't look like their pics or have issues. In this case op her sister goes off on you for asking for a pic? haha. so her, uber, sister....either this chick is a drama-queen or has split personality disorder. Why are you talking to her again and why are YOU trying to fix anything? Grow a set. Asking for a non-nude selfie from a prospective date is not something that should cause this much BS. Women ask me all the time for a pic on the fly because they want to make sure i'm legit. they want to make sure i'm not catfishing them. This chick flaked on you. SHE is the one who should be fixing things. Be a man a bout it. Not a jerk but just a man and show her you don't tolerate flaky women. if she don't skype you tell her to lose your number because her behavior is a massive turn-off. do not engage her in BS text or phone arguments or accuse her of anything. Just drop her. She knows what you want and she knows what she has to do to keep your attention. I told her I was done & that I didn't believe her. Her sister found out and told me I don't deserve her, stay away from her, I'm selfish. She also said she was abused and cheated on in her last relationship and would never lie or play anyone like that. Said she really likes me and was too excited that she left her phone in the uber. Then she told me to talk to her. She said she was sorry for putting me through this, and that it was wrong for me to be treating her like she was doing this on purpose. She said she doesn't want to force me to do anything anymore. It was sort of my fault too, I wasn't at the spot where we were supposed to meet, & she panicked when I wasn't there. I told her I'll think about giving this another shot, and for her to Skype me later, she agreed.
Author Black Cement Posted November 13, 2016 Author Posted November 13, 2016 Where did you meet her online? She doesn't have a car? How old is she? You have two usernames? How old are you? Why can't you just try meet again in person instead of this Skype BS? POF. I want to skype, because I'm working all this week.
Popsicle Posted November 13, 2016 Posted November 13, 2016 I gotta say... As a woman, it is quite irritating to me when guys act like complete paranoid NUTS 'cause they've been online too long and dealing with fakes. It's not my problem. And I'm not going to be treated like I'm guilty of something and on trial needing to prove something when I'm not feeling like doing that at this point (especially considering that I just STARTED chatting to you and don't even know you!). That's YOUR emotional baggage to deal with. I am reasonable, not selfish, with regard to meeting someone in person and I have disdain for people who are fake and waste people's time, but I'm not going to be rushed to do anything because of someone's past or imagined traumas. It has to happen organically and have at least some semblance of normalcy considering we are meeting in this wacky way in the first place -online.
Popsicle Posted November 13, 2016 Posted November 13, 2016 I told her I was done & that I didn't believe her. Her sister found out and told me I don't deserve her, stay away from her, I'm selfish. She also said she was abused and cheated on in her last relationship and would never lie or play anyone like that. Said she really likes me and was too excited that she left her phone in the uber. Then she told me to talk to her. She said she was sorry for putting me through this, and that it was wrong for me to be treating her like she was doing this on purpose. She said she doesn't want to force me to do anything anymore. It was sort of my fault too, I wasn't at the spot where we were supposed to meet, & she panicked when I wasn't there. I told her I'll think about giving this another shot, and for her to Skype me later, she agreed. Well you know, you can throw your own trauma right back at her. Her sister thinks her past traumas are more important than yours? Ok fine, you'll be nice and give her another chance but what about FaceTime?
Popsicle Posted November 13, 2016 Posted November 13, 2016 Online dating is like the movie Mr. and Mrs. Smith... People like each other but are on guard because they need to protect themselves from being destroyed by the other person. What a horrible way to be and live.
Author Black Cement Posted November 13, 2016 Author Posted November 13, 2016 Well you know, you can throw your own trauma right back at her. Her sister thinks her past traumas are more important than yours? Ok fine, you'll be nice and give her another chance but what about FaceTime? That's exactly what I did! I told her my ex's cheated on me too & I know what its like to be hurt. I told her that I was guarded, and have the right to be suspicious. Thats when she stopped attacking me. We could FT, we both have iPhones. Maybe I am paranoid, I hear all these horror stories and such. It'll all go away once we FT.
LookAtThisPOst Posted November 13, 2016 Posted November 13, 2016 I gotta say... As a woman, it is quite irritating to me when guys act like complete paranoid NUTS 'cause they've been online too long and dealing with fakes. It's not my problem. And I'm not going to be treated like I'm guilty of something and on trial needing to prove something when I'm not feeling like doing that at this point (especially considering that I just STARTED chatting to you and don't even know you!). That's YOUR emotional baggage to deal with. I am reasonable, not selfish, with regard to meeting someone in person and I have disdain for people who are fake and waste people's time, but I'm not going to be rushed to do anything because of someone's past or imagined traumas. It has to happen organically and have at least some semblance of normalcy considering we are meeting in this wacky way in the first place -online. Thus, the reason I contact women who have in their profiles, "Not looking for profiles, I'm here to meet face-to-face." That separates the catfish from those who want to genuinely meet.
Sunkissedpatio Posted November 13, 2016 Posted November 13, 2016 Putting on a profile "looking to meet face to face" or saying "I'm only looking for honest,"or "no liars please" does absolutely nothing to prevent you from getting scammed. This story is precisely the road to getting scammed, the signs are all there why in the world stick around for the big deceptive reveal? C'mon, she passed the phone to her sister so she could chew you out? Why in the world would you lend yourself to that!?
Chris2016 Posted November 13, 2016 Posted November 13, 2016 Thus, the reason I contact women who have in their profiles, "Not looking for profiles, I'm here to meet face-to-face." That separates the catfish from those who want to genuinely meet. That's a good way to filter out folks. I didn't realize people made it that obvious, which is smart. I haven't actively done online dating, but if I do I'll look out for those and put it on my profile also.
Chris2016 Posted November 13, 2016 Posted November 13, 2016 Putting on a profile "looking to meet face to face" or saying "I'm only looking for honest,"or "no liars please" does absolutely nothing to prevent you from getting scammed. This story is precisely the road to getting scammed, the signs are all there why in the world stick around for the big deceptive reveal? C'mon, she passed the phone to her sister so she could chew you out? Why in the world would you lend yourself to that!? Thanks for that. Good reminder, to be cautious, if I do venture into OLD.
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