Relationships/marriage is not sacred

[Porter56]

I personally don't believe that relationships or marriage are sacred.

 

Relationships/marriage is just a bunch of hard work. It's really just a second job on top of the first job that you have which is to help pay the bills... which helps make the relationship work. There's absolutely no such thing as unconditional love ...all love is conditional and based upon a person getting their needs met...which basically means they are trying to get something out of the other person and if they can't get that something out of the other person...they leave in the relationship, and it is over.

 

All of this is perfectly fine. I don't care one way or the other, but I'm so sick of people telling me that something is special about their marriage or their relationship and that there is something sacred about it or something special about the person that they're married to when there clearly isn't.

 

Your spouse, your partner, or whatever you want to call it is completely replaceable. What they do for you...there are plenty of other people that could do that for you and maybe even do it better. But the fact is nobody wants to think about that because it causes them insecurity, it lowers their self-esteem or whatever.

 

Simply put, your relationship, your marriage and your partner are not special.

[Grumpybutfun]

Are you looking for an echo chamber on a relationship site? I'm thinking your disappointment might be mitigated by your denial of your own issues.

Sacred is possible,

G

[Arieswoman]

Porter56,

You are entitled to have an opinion but I wonder why you want to air it on a relationship site?

 

If you don't like the concept of relationships then don't engage in one - sorted

[Larryville]

Relationships/marriage is just a bunch of hard work.

 

I feel sorry for anyone who has never had a good, solid and fulfilling relationship.

 

Sacred is absolutely possible, but individual attitudes keeps some from achieving.

[Shepp]

Simply put, your relationship, your marriage and your partner are not special.

 

That's some pretty massive walls right there mate. What, exactly is it that you are so scared of?

 

You can think and feel whatever you want, that's your choice to make, its your life to live.

But you'll never be able to make other people think how you think, it doesn't

 

work life that, and I wonder why, if you know something to be true in your heart, it matters to you so much what others think. You stating your thoughts has no impact on the way I feel about my wife and our relationship, it wouldn't matter if its just you or if its everyone else on the planet, I know how I feel, I don't feel the need to convert others.But, the way I feel about my wife? To me, she's completely irreplaceable, I don't want 'better', I don't want anyone else, I want her - flawed, crazy, wonderful her, and I want our life together, our little family is the world to me, it means everything! And you can think me dumb - but if being so smart and all knowing means you have to miss out on feeling the way I feel then count me out, and I feel sorry for you!

[burnt]

I absolutely agree with you, Porter.

And, I absolutely disagree with you as well, Porter.

 

Let me explain through the lens of your note of the "first job", which you say is solely there to pay for bills.

 

Yes, there are plenty, perhaps most people in the world who see their jobs as "jobs"--something they do to pay the bills. And the moment, if they could win a million dollar lottery, they'd quit their job, because the job is no longer needed to pay the bills.

 

But you see, there are also PLENTY of people, to whom their jobs are "sacred", a source of purpose, strength, and belonging.

 

My personal life is absolutely empty. My job (which pays my bills) is the only reason I am able to get up in the morning and find the strength to carry on for days, one day at a time. By the time the weekend hits, EVERY weekend, I crash emotionally. My job gives me a sense of purpose in life, when the rest of my life feels utterly hollow. My job keeps me sane, connected with myself and with the rest of the world.

 

You are right--but don't make a general statement, please.

For some people, jobs are only the means for earning money. For some people their jobs are what keeps them grounded in life.

 

For some people relationships are a second job, but for most people, a relationship is so necessary, that without it they'd feel lost in life.

 

I don't see anything wrong with you holding your point of view, based on your life experiences.

BUT, I do hope that the people like you who feel this way build relationships with like minded people.

 

Please do not get involved with someone who wants to be in a relationship to find meaning in life, because your apathetic attitude will destroy that person's soul and the ability to trust anyone else ever again.

[Popsicle]

I personally don't believe that relationships or marriage are sacred.

 

Relationships/marriage is just a bunch of hard work. It's really just a second job on top of the first job that you have which is to help pay the bills... which helps make the relationship work. There's absolutely no such thing as unconditional love ...all love is conditional and based upon a person getting their needs met...which basically means they are trying to get something out of the other person and if they can't get that something out of the other person...they leave in the relationship, and it is over.

 

All of this is perfectly fine. I don't care one way or the other, but I'm so sick of people telling me that something is special about their marriage or their relationship and that there is something sacred about it or something special about the person that they're married to when there clearly isn't.

 

Your spouse, your partner, or whatever you want to call it is completely replaceable. What they do for you...there are plenty of other people that could do that for you and maybe even do it better. But the fact is nobody wants to think about that because it causes them insecurity, it lowers their self-esteem or whatever.

 

Simply put, your relationship, your marriage and your partner are not special.

 

You must not have ever been in love before.

[eye of the storm]

lol and I thought I was bitter!!! wow.

 

Anyway, My M was horrific. But since then I have studied what makes a good healthy happy relationship. And when I spend time with them...Ill be honest I get a tiny bit jealous because I wish I had had that. But not having experienced it, doesn't mean I can't admit they exist.

 

And I agree with the term "work" but its also misleading. Anything valuable, anything you care about is worth working on. Tending, cherishing, making a priority.

[Redhead14]

There you have it folks . . . the end of committed relationships and the beginning of a sexual free for all (which is almost happening now anyway), rampant disease and the demise of morality in general. No one should give a sh*t about anyone but themselves -- Beautiful.

[NuevoYorko]

You're right, they are often hard work. The reason a lot of people are willing to put in the work is because they feel it's worth it.

[Porter56]

No Popsicle, I have never been in love.

 

I'm not sure I even know what that means to be honest.

[Popsicle]

No Popsicle, I have never been in love.

 

Would you like to be?