Asti Posted November 13, 2016 Posted November 13, 2016 When you yell at your girlfriend and see her laying in bed crying 30 mins later and ask her if she is ok and her response is... " You're gonna think it's stupid" While crying more. What is an appropriate response?
eye of the storm Posted November 13, 2016 Posted November 13, 2016 Something that popped out to me. Yelling. Why are you two not able to have an argument without yelling. You yelling to the point where she is crying 30 minutes later points to a pretty ugly fight. (all this rests on the assumption that she is not just crying as a power play which some people do) You both need to find a way of disagreeing without getting ugly. You both need to find a way of open communication where you are both able to freely express yourself and to be able to disagree without an ugly fight breaking out. 1
Author Asti Posted November 13, 2016 Author Posted November 13, 2016 Sorry I am the girlfriend. We don't ever really argue. He will randomly yell when I ask a question. This time it was about packing for a trip we are going on tomorrow. Conversation was 3 minutes from question to end of him yelling. The response I got was not what I think would be typical. I have only dated one person before him and we communicated great so I though maybe I should see how others have responded in this senario.
Arieswoman Posted November 13, 2016 Posted November 13, 2016 Asti, Forget about packing for the trip, just pack his things and tell him to leave. No-one deserves to be yelled at, it's abuse. 2
surferchic Posted November 14, 2016 Posted November 14, 2016 Appropriate response depends on why he's yelling. Had you just disrespected him? If not, then his response should be to ask you to talk about what was just said or to simply apologize for yelling when he could have been civil. None of us know the details of what happened prior to him yelling...
Redhead14 Posted November 14, 2016 Posted November 14, 2016 Well, without knowing the whole story . . . if it was really something "stupid", the partner would apologize for yelling at you and ask you to calm down and talk. That being said "you're gonna think it's stupid" isn't a very mature way to deal with the situation . . . 'you know, Xname, I'm crying because I am hurt, confused, disappointed, worried, insulted ". You're kinda stonewalling him. And, men don't like crying. It makes them uncomfortable and feel like it's manipulation especially if it's 30 minutes after an issue. It's OK to cry, but if you cry, talk through the tears openly and honestly.
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