New Girl, New Number

[Grey40]

Hey guys,

Met a girl last night at a bar, she was drunk but definitely coherent. She was very touchy-feely with me and definitely was interested. Even my friends watching from afar couldn't beleive how obvious she was being in terms of her interest. So I got her number and texted her shortly after, short and good conversation.

 

Waited until later today, texted her asking her how her day is going and asked if she was available tomorrow. She's a nurse in training so she said she had clinicals all day. I basically said "no problem, let's try to set something up for the week" she replies

 

"I actually have a super busy week with exams and studying, but I can probably do something the week after if that works for you."

 

So I say yeah that sounds good I'll stay in touch and we'll set something up. She says "awesome, looking forward to it!"

 

I know this question is asked a lot, but wanted advice on how to proceed.im giving her benefit of the doubt that she is busy and will try again next weekend. The problem I'm having is whether I should bother contacting until setting up the next date. I'm worried too much time may pass and she may easily lose interest, but texting her or contacting her too much could do the same thing

[Popsicle]

Yes, you should set up the next date but do it next weekend. It is exam time for students so don't text her during the day. Maybe a goodnight at the end of the night and I hope you day was good would be ok, if you feel like you must keep in contact during the week.

[Grey40]

No other thoughts?

[staggerlee71]

My advice, you should set up a date with her and stop texting her until the date. build a little tension. If that date goes well, use the phone to set another date and then leave her to initiate texts and leave her be until the date.

repeat until you get intimate.

 

Shes not blowing you off, shes busy. She will blow you off if you don't back off between dates. Slow and easy my man. Less contact is more in the beginning. You think texting is attentive and nice. She wont if you if you bug her during exams.

[Grey40]

Thanks for the advice. So you really beleive she's interested and not just making excuses? I'm giving her benefit of doubt, but what if she doesn't reach out to me all week? I mean her Instagram profile isn't private, so I guess I'll know if she's out doing other stuff instead. I guess it just a bit concerned because I've had this kind of thing happen before. I'm never a fan of having to wait long to meet up, because I feel attraction may fade. I met her briefly at the bar, had little to no conversation, it was straight lust/attraction and we clearly were attracted to each other's looks. But I worry that may not be enough to keep her wanting me when she actually does free up. Can't worry about it o guess.

[basil67]

Personally, I wouldn't hold out much hope if my only connection with a person was visual/carnal and they were wearing beer goggles at the time.

 

While something can seem like a good idea at the time, in the light of the next morning, it's not uncommon to rethink the situation.

[spiderowl]

If it was me you wanted to date, then I would want to have a text a day at least to maintain some kind of contact, otherwise I would assume you didn't care/had lost interest. Something nice and warm, like 'how is your day going?' or 'hope you are not working too hard'. I very quickly start to feel disconnected and fed up if I don't hear. Past relationships have always started with good, regular communication and stayed that way.

 

As to whether she's interested enough or not, hard to say. Nurses can have pretty awful shift patterns which means even when they are available they are not - because they are tired or it is the wrong end of the day. But, I would view it as a possible sign of lack of interest. If she does not respond to texts later in the week or seems too vague about meeting, then it is not worth pursuing.

Edited November 14, 2016 by spiderowl