Is she gone forever?

[devilmaycry]

Well this is gonna be a long story so i thank everyone in advance for reading it.

 

Anyways me and my ex gf met and instantly clicked we were very much alike and we had an amazing time together. We loved each other so much. We were in a relationship for 1 year and 3 months i was hers first love and longest relationship by far. Anyways we had our problems. We both had a tough life and a bit of anxiety and panic attacks. Her panic attacks and anxiety originated from her past, i found about some things from her telling me but i wanted to help so i pushed her to tell me everything and i later regreted that because she blamed me after the breakup for the self harm she did to herself because i reminded her of everything. Anyways we did have our problems but we were always there for each other i was always there for her and she was always there for me. Fast forward a few months she goes to work a season job, we haven't seen each other for 2 months and it was hard but we made it. I got a job in the same place and i came there. At the beggining everything was wonderfull, but because of the stressfull job and awfull people i worked with i had a mental breakdown and i lashed out on her for about a month we were arguing and i treated her baddly and i was needy so i brought up all the stuff i did for her and how she can't even be by my side when i'm feeling suicidal and broken. She then broke up with me because she said she can't fight anymore, and that i'm controling and manipulative and that i try to make her feel like **** even if she didn't do anything wrong. And i begged and cried and pleaded instead of just giving her time. In the meantime she was friends with this guy and i was a bit jealous but then she took me to meet him and everything was cool. So anyways she tells me she loves but she can't continue with the fights and everything. As i begged and pleaded it pushed her away and she became more angry and angry with me. 5 days pass and i see her with that guy every day. Eventually i found out they were together. Her instagram was being filled with stuff she's doing with him, coffes, lunches, walks etc almost as soon as she broke up with me. A month of begging, pleading, slight stalking passes and i see her the day before i leave and she agress to sit down to have a coffe with me. Everything was going great, she laughed and told me about her life and plans until we started talking about the relationship and then she said that she doesn't love me anymore (she said that 2 days after the breakup aswell) and that the bad in the relationship outweighted the good. I asked her how could she move on so fast and she said "what was i supossed to wait while you treated me like crap?" to which i replied that i know i did my mistakes and i did everything i could to fix them and i changed for the better because that breakup opened my eyes and i don't expect her to believe me. She said that i changed to late, we walked our ways and she wouldn't let me hug her, she just smiled nervously and said "don't hug me" so i sad "ok" and started walking, she looked at my direction and that was that. 20 days later i sent her a message apologizing for stalking, begging, crying, pleading etc and told her not to reply if she's still angry that i wanted to leave it at good terms and not all that. 7 days after that i sent her a regular message because a video reminded me of her, she called me and said "will you stop sending me messages?" i said "ok, i missread the situation i apologize, won't happen again" she replied "you said that everytime and then you contact me" to which i said "trust me, won't happen again". A few minutes pass and i get a DM from the guy she's dating to **** off from her, that i'm a psycho, stalker and that she doesn't give a **** about me that she threw me away. I responded to that by saying that she likes him and i won't do no harm to him but if that happened again it wouldn't end on that note and blocked him. A few hours passed and i snapped because she was badmouthing me that much to that guy after so i sent her a huge message saying how i was trying to correct my wrongs, how i changed and how i'm sick of trying for someone who gives so little and that i deserved better from her and that i didn't deserve for her to break me like that. Also she had my shirt that i gave her, she returned that shirt together with that guy and went home in HIS shirt and is now taking pictures in it almost daily etc. Anyways she blocked me on everything and after that message in which i told her i'll do the same and block her and that she's dead to me she UNBLOCKED ME on facebook to tell me TO BLOCK HER! so i ignored it for 2 days then i sent her a message that i apologize for my behaviour, that i wasn't trying to get her back and that i understand she doesn't give a **** about me, she doesn't want anything to do with me and that i only block people that i hate, don't care about etc and that she isn't one of them. So i told her if she wished to block me, and do whatever she thinks is right for her and i'll respect her decission that she doesn't want me in her life, i wished her all the best and told her that i support her decision whatever she chooses. It's been two weeks and when shee see's me in town she wouldn't even say hi but 3 days ago she did say hi to me, to which i just said "hey" back and walked away.

 

I would like her back because we WERE perfect for each other we just made a few mistakes, me i had a rough past and i couldn't trust easily and she had a rough past that she didn't want to talk about but i being an idiot thought that because she is in a hard place mentaly it's best that SOMEBODY knows about that and she can talk to someone openly about that. But i changed and i was even in therapy and i became a more relaxed person and now i know i would make her the happiest girl on earth but i fear that she really doesn't want to do anything with me ever again and that i pushed her to far. Is it trully over for good ? I probably missed some parts of the story but i will update it if necessery.

Edited November 12, 2016 by devilmaycry

[cucumber95]

Could you make it in paragraphs?, it is hard to read it that way.

[devilmaycry]

Could you make it in paragraphs?, it is hard to read it that way.

 

no problem!

[devilmaycry]

Well this is gonna be a long story so i thank everyone in advance for reading it. this is the same post just edited for easier reading.

 

Anyways me and my ex gf met and instantly clicked we were very much alike and we had an amazing time together. We loved each other so much. We were in a relationship for 1 year and 3 months i was hers first love and longest relationship by far. Anyways we had our problems. We both had a tough life and a bit of anxiety and panic attacks. Her panic attacks and anxiety originated from her past, i found about some things from her telling me but i wanted to help so i pushed her to tell me everything and i later regreted that because she blamed me after the breakup for the self harm she did to herself because i reminded her of everything.

 

Anyways we did have our problems but we were always there for each other i was always there for her and she was always there for me. Fast forward a few months she goes to work a season job, we haven't seen each other for 2 months and it was hard but we made it. I got a job in the same place and i came there. At the beggining everything was wonderfull, but because of the stressfull job and awfull people i worked with i had a mental breakdown and i lashed out on her for about a month we were arguing and i treated her baddly and i was needy so i brought up all the stuff i did for her and how she can't even be by my side when i'm feeling suicidal and broken.

 

She then broke up with me because she said she can't fight anymore, and that i'm controling and manipulative and that i try to make her feel like **** even if she didn't do anything wrong. And i begged and cried and pleaded instead of just giving her time. In the meantime she was friends with this guy and i was a bit jealous but then she took me to meet him and everything was cool. So anyways she tells me she loves but she can't continue with the fights and everything. As i begged and pleaded it pushed her away and she became more angry and angry with me. 5 days pass and i see her with that guy every day. Eventually i found out they were together. Her instagram was being filled with stuff she's doing with him, coffes, lunches, walks etc almost as soon as she broke up with me. A month of begging, pleading, slight stalking passes and i see her the day before i leave and she agress to sit down to have a coffe with me. Everything was going great, she laughed and told me about her life and plans until we started talking about the relationship and then she said that she doesn't love me anymore (she said that 2 days after the breakup aswell) and that the bad in the relationship outweighted the good. I asked her how could she move on so fast and she said "what was i supossed to wait while you treated me like crap?" to which i replied that i know i did my mistakes and i did everything i could to fix them and i changed for the better because that breakup opened my eyes and i don't expect her to believe me. She said that i changed to late, we walked our ways and she wouldn't let me hug her, she just smiled nervously and said "don't hug me" so i sad "ok" and started walking, she looked at my direction and that was that.

 

20 days later i sent her a message apologizing for stalking, begging, crying, pleading etc and told her not to reply if she's still angry that i wanted to leave it at good terms and not all that. 7 days after that i sent her a regular message because a video reminded me of her, she called me and said "will you stop sending me messages?" i said "ok, i missread the situation i apologize, won't happen again" she replied "you said that everytime and then you contact me" to which i said "trust me, won't happen again". A few minutes pass and i get a DM from the guy she's dating to **** off from her, that i'm a psycho, stalker and that she doesn't give a **** about me that she threw me away. I responded to that by saying that she likes him and i won't do no harm to him but if that happened again it wouldn't end on that note and blocked him. A few hours passed and i snapped because she was badmouthing me that much to that guy after so i sent her a huge message saying how i was trying to correct my wrongs, how i changed and how i'm sick of trying for someone who gives so little and that i deserved better from her and that i didn't deserve for her to break me like that.

 

 

Also she had my shirt that i gave her, she returned that shirt together with that guy and went home in HIS shirt and is now taking pictures in it almost daily etc. Anyways she blocked me on everything and after that message in which i told her i'll do the same and block her and that she's dead to me she UNBLOCKED ME on facebook to tell me TO BLOCK HER! so i ignored it for 2 days then i sent her a message that i apologize for my behaviour, that i wasn't trying to get her back and that i understand she doesn't give a **** about me, she doesn't want anything to do with me and that i only block people that i hate, don't care about etc and that she isn't one of them. So i told her if she wished to block me, and do whatever she thinks is right for her and i'll respect her decission that she doesn't want me in her life, i wished her all the best and told her that i support her decision whatever she chooses. It's been two weeks and when shee see's me in town she wouldn't even say hi but 3 days ago she did say hi to me, to which i just said "hey" back and walked away.

 

 

I would like her back because we WERE perfect for each other we just made a few mistakes, me i had a rough past and i couldn't trust easily and she had a rough past that she didn't want to talk about but i being an idiot thought that because she is in a hard place mentaly it's best that SOMEBODY knows about that and she can talk to someone openly about that. But i changed and i was even in therapy and i became a more relaxed person and now i know i would make her the happiest girl on earth but i fear that she really doesn't want to do anything with me ever again and that i pushed her to far. Is it trully over for good ? I probably missed some parts of the story but i will update it if necessery.

[cucumber95]

I'm sorry to tell it but it sounds like it is over forever. but you never know life, after few years you could get back together, but don't wait for that, chance of that is very little.

 

Look at this, she moved on so quick, she did not love you as much as you did love her, I can see that you really love her, she did not appericate that, her choice.

 

Now, you block her everywhere, don't look at her social media. Go NC. Forget about her, it is hard, I still miss my ex, but it gets easier every day.

 

Try not to think about her, if you start thinking about her, think about bad things she did to you.

 

Good luck.

 

Edit: Just to point out, you did lot of misatkes by begging, writing to her so much, you should have gone NC after break up, it would be easier for you in long run. I can't imagine going to my ex now begging, and she would tell me to **** off again, I will be going trough all same things, crying again, depression.... Forget about her man. You can do better without her, you will find someone better someday.

[devilmaycry]

And just to clarify i'm not an emotional mess anymore, i'm fine with the breakup and i honestly think i DID deserve to be broken up with because of my behaviour although i don't think i deserved to be replaced that fast and to be treated like because i was emotional and i didn't let her go right the moment she broke up with me.

 

First few days she was telling her friends that she isn't sure and that she loves me and doesn't know if she want's to break up forever until i started begging and stuff then it gradually went from that to leave me the hell alone i don't want anything to do with you. Which i did, i don't plan on contacting her or anything because even though i did alot of mistakes, she did too and if there is any chance of getting back together i deserve an apology for everything and i deserve to be chased because i know my own worth and i know i was an amazing boyfriend even though i had a tough life and struggled mentally for a while.

 

So i'm not contacting her or chasing after her, i even went on a few dates and am talking with a few women. I just kinda feel that She and I are ment to be together no matter what and i can't shake that stupid feeling. Oh btw the guy she's dating is similar to me in a ton of aspects and it's long distance relationship.

[Frozensushi]

I just kinda feel that She and I are ment to be together no matter what and i can't shake that stupid feeling.

 

Could you give more context on why you feel this to be true? You said you fought a lot. You mentioned that she felt you were controlling, manipulative and that you were always making her feel bad for no reason. Is this true? Were you like that or was she only accusing you of these things and had no proof to back it up?

[cucumber95]

And just to clarify i'm not an emotional mess anymore, i'm fine with the breakup and i honestly think i DID deserve to be broken up with because of my behaviour although "i don't think i deserved to be replaced that fast and to be treated like because i was emotional and i didn't let her go right the moment she broke up with me."

 

First few days she was telling her friends that she isn't sure and that she loves me and doesn't know if she want's to break up forever until i started begging and stuff then it gradually went from that to leave me the hell alone i don't want anything to do with you. Which i did, i don't plan on contacting her or anything because even though i did alot of mistakes, she did too and if there is any chance of getting back together i deserve an apology for everything and i deserve to be chased because i know my own worth and i know i was an amazing boyfriend even though i had a tough life and struggled mentally for a while.

 

So i'm not contacting her or chasing after her, i even went on a few dates and am talking with a few women. "I just kinda feel that She and I are ment to be together no matter what and i can't shake that stupid feeling." Oh btw the guy she's dating is similar to me in a ton of aspects and it's long distance relationship.

 

Everybody thinks that they did not deserve to be cheated on, left out of blue, lied, but it is what it is. People change, they goals change, perspective changes... It is sad but nothing we can do.

 

I still feel that me and my ex were meant to be with each other, she was thinking same, but somehow she changed that thinking, she did not seen us together in future, so she broke up. I can only accept it. You need to accept it as well.

[devilmaycry]

I feel like that because we had the same issues from our past, we shared an incredible connection, i could know what she was thinking just by looking at her and she could do the same, we fought over a few things, she lied about her past to me because she was ashamed and afraid to lose me, and i was lied to before so it hurt but those fights didn't last long i let that go because i loved her and i knew the past doesn't matter. As for the controlling and stuff, yes it IS true and i'm not afraid to admit it, i wasn't always like that but i came crashing because of my job and i wasn't ready to be under that much stress so i treated her very poorly for a month and she snapped and had enough. But i did change and i never intentionally wanted to hurt her, i cried for a few days because i felt like **** that i couldn't control my emotions and that i'm fighting with the woman i love and that loves me and that i hurt her and kept pushing her away. That was her biggest reason "you pushed me away"

[cucumber95]

Why have you been controlling? In my case it was her lies, made me paranoid, I wanted to breakup but she cried so I stayed, but then I got controlling because I did not trust her, of course she blamed that on me, but clearly it was her fault...

 

Edit: so she lied, you see, it is not your fault that you become controlling. It is all her fault. Trust is very important in relationships. It takes lot of time to build it, but only takes seconds to lose it.

[devilmaycry]

She had issues with alcohol and other stuff in her past so i tried to tell her she shouldn't be drinking and going out in clubs and stuff because SHE SAID she didn't want to be like that anymore and do those things. So i tried my best to be supportive and not allow her to make the same mistakes again. I wasn't controlling her in the psycho way, if she trully wanted to do something all she needed to say was "i really want to do this" and i would support it. But the biggest thing is i felt like i wasn't getting any attention from her when i was down on my knees during that month so i used all the things i did for her and guilt tripping to get her to be near me, even though she was near me i just couldn't see it because i was out of my mind for a while and broken. I made a few horrible mistakes and the breakup opened my eyes to my behaviour because she was keeping quiet and holding it in instead of telling it to my face that i'm behaving like that and that i should stop.

 

Edit : also she really hated herself in the past, and that's why she didn't want to talk about those things because it reminded her of the bad things that happened and she just wanted to forget but i made a mistake of forcing some of those things out of her.

[DarrenB]

Your relationship was dysfunctional... to say it in the nicest way possible. You may ask why I'm being so forward? the precise reason is because a large portion of what you had shared reminded me of my own R/S. A lot of differences, but multiple similarities.

 

This has not been clarified, so I'll ask you now. How old are you? how old was she? age plays a huge factor in this, by the sounds of it you seem particularly young due to the huge involvement with social media/networking and so forth.

 

Away from age and dysfunctional relationships now. A relationship, well a scenario that you have elaborated on is something not to salvage at all. You were both clearly unhappy and the processes you were both taking was incredibly unhealthy. Again, depending on your age it is not something that is sufficient or beneficial at all. It's in fact the complete opposite.

 

Moving on to your main thread question. 'Is she gone forever?' Well, we don't know that, you don't know that, no-one really knows. She could re-appear in your life a month from now, willing to reconcile. She could re-appear a year from now wanting to. It makes no difference, as long as she comes back right? From experience, longing for the answer to that question is torture. On you, your mind, your present and your future. Your focus will diminish as well as your assets. It's all you'll think about as I'm sure you may already know.

 

If she is to return, she will. If she does not, then you must be in the process of accepting that whenever you're ready to. I'm a firm believer in change, I'm a firm believer in reconciling as well. However, to be anywhere near a stage of reconciliation, you must be aware of the flaws you had made throughout the relationship and the breakup. You must acknowledge the mistakes and be honest in yourself. After all, if she wants to return in future or it is a neutral thing then obviously you'd want a better outcome and a better relationship right? more developed and progress further with more avoidance of what destroyed it in the first place. That's what you should aim for. But don't rely on the reconciling, don't rely on waiting around for her... because it may never come, and again you'll have to be in a mind of acceptance to be able to understand and realize why. You have lost someone and you have attempted to get them back in every way possible. Not the best idea, but we're human and we all do it. That in itself is something to be aware of and to avoid in future.

 

Let's be cliche shall we. Focus on yourself and only yourself. Make time to grieve and dwell on the loss of your loved one. Not too much time because it can and will impact you for a very loooooooong time, trust me. Your healing is your own savior and it will guide you whilst you recover. Think about them, but think about the qualities, think about the positive. Not the hardships, or the negatives or anything else. You want to be able to look at this in future, even if she is obsolete indefinitely from your life and think 'What we had was great (or alright)'. We want what we can't have, so we attempt in every way to regain what we do not have. But we cannot be selfish, we must think of them also, even if you would prefer not to. Make time to think about how they feel and how they are coping, whether it be bad or good just empathise.

 

Like she said herself, you pushed her away. My, how many times my ex had said that to me. I'm an independent fella, and she always used to tell me that I'm pushing her away. My obliviousness proved to be a devil in this case and ruined everything. But I do not blame that completely, I blame myself. Then again comes in accepting the mistakes, and the naivety and the way you handled things. Acknowledge and repair. Trial and error.

Edited November 12, 2016 by DarrenB

[devilmaycry]

i'm 22 and she's soon gonna be 20. And yeah i know i had some issues that needed sorting and i've accepted that and started working on them along time ago. But it's all in the past now anyways, i'm accepting the fact that most likely i will never hear from her again. I just couldn't understand how she went from me being her everything to me being her nothing in such a short time and acts like i never existed but i can't focus my energy and time thinking about that because i will never know what's inside her head and i need to heal and make myself a better person.

[devilmaycry]

Long story short me and my ex were in a relationship for a year and 3 months.

During that time we both made some mistakes, but i was having trust issues because of my past and i was a bit paranoid because of hers so i was possesive Other than that we had a perfect connection and would talk about anything, or we could just sit in silence and still enjoy. I was her longest boyfriend and first love, she loved me so much.

 

 

But last month of our relationship was rough, she went to work far away and we hadn't seen each other in 2 months and barely talked due to her broken phone. I came to work where she is working and she was crying from happiness, then i got ****ed at work in the head and i took it out on her saddly because i was immature and needy. She had enough of fighting and broke up with me, i cried and begged and it pushed her further and she blocked me on pretty much everything. She rebounded with a guy she met there and as soon as i found out i stopped the begging and everything and wished her luck.

 

We hadn't talked in 20 days and i sent her an apology for acting crazy, begging etc, told her i was really sorry. She didn't respond. 7 days later i broke no contact and sent her an innocent message of a thing she liked, she called me and said "will you stop sending messages you said you would?" i told her okay i'm sorry. Her new boyfriend then threathend me and said some pretty ****ty stuff too me and told me not to contact her again. I ignored it but i blew up on my ex because i was emotional and wasn't thinking straight, no mean words or anything i just said that she broke my hearth too and that i will block her too.

 

She then unblocked me to say "block me". To which i responded with an apology for my behaviour and message, told her i respect her wishes and whatever she chooses to block me or not but that i don't feel the need to block her as she isn't nobody to me, she blocked me and that was that.

 

Fast forward a month and i send her a message "do you wanna hear something, i don't want to send it withouth you wanting" and later tell her to ignore it as i promised no contact. She was polite and responded instantly on viber and went to check what i sent.

 

AGAIN her new boyfriend says "i told you to **** of from her, i'm gonna break your legs" i reponded calmly and explained i had no intentions and was just friendly. She called me 5 times and i told her i don't want to listen to insults i undersstand everything and i respect it. She said i didn't insult you please pick up.

 

She was crying on the phone and said "you're not there for a month and then you come back" and we talked i made her laugh and everything,i even made fun of myself for crying to her and begging and she told me to put "Stalker" in my facebook bio (which i did), an hour and a half of talking, she addmited of looking at me when we are in the same coffe shop, she even brought up that she watched the final LOTR movie finally (we watched the first two together), and she started crying again, i told her i realized where it went wrong, i worked on myself and i'm sorry i hurt her. Told her "i'm here" and she said "don't say that when you are the one that broke me" i just replied "i know, and i'm sorry i didn't mean to do anything bad to you" she replied "i know you didn't" i told her that i loved her very much and never meant to hurt her she replied "i know".I told her i realize that the break up was hard on her, and that i forgave her for anything and that i know how much she loved me to which she just said "heh..."

We said our goodnights and that was that.

 

Day after that i saw her in the coffe shop we used to go together and she comes all the time, i said hi and scared her because she was wearing headphones, she started laughing and said "hello stalker,although it looks like i'm the one stalking" and i showed her that i put "stalker" in my bio and said "promise is a promise" and walked away. I sent her a message on viber "sorry that i scared you" she said "don't worry about it, and listen.." to which i replied i know already don't worry i won't contact you, she replies "it's not okay to him" and i found out that they got into a fight over it to which i said "i'm changed so i can undersstand, i wish you the best and always will, thank you for everything" she replies "thank you aswell".

 

In the meanwhile she posted a picture from a song she dedicated to me "Never Forget You" on instagram, then deleted it, she then posted a picture of her eating the Pizza we used to eat together all the time (that was our thing) and when she see's me she smiles widely and says hello.

 

I love this girl to death, i love her so much that i trully wish her happiness if the guy is not a rebound, but she told me she isn't happy on the phone and she was crying and i changed my errors and ways even sought some theraphy to improve my emotions i really wish i could take down the sky for her once again and never let it go anymore. She is my true soulmate even after 3 months of ignoring each other, on the phone i just felt that connection, we even said some things at the same time and laughed. And i know i hurt her and i would do anything to mend that wound, and if i didn't change i wouldn't go near her because the thought of hurting her hurts more than not being with her.

 

I hope you guys can help me out here, do i have any chance or is probably over for good and she doesn't love me anymore?

[Bromeo]

First - I went through the same thing. I was in your shoes for months. I would try and back away, and my ex would send texts and bikini shots. I would think things are getting somewhere, and she would pull away. Got tired, went NC for 3 weeks. Went to see her, told her I loved her, more mixed signals. Except this time she made fun of me to her friends. Then I was over it. Then a love song comes in, then two good talks, then nothing.

 

I sent one final email, explaining the growth I had experienced, and how I was a better person. After that, I am NC for good.

 

So I understand mixed signals. Reality is this:

 

She may be confused, but she has a boyfriend now. That is fact, based on your statements.

 

Your continued pursuit only continues to confuse her, and push her to the other guy.

 

She does not care about you like you do her. This one was the hardest for me to accept.

 

And honestly, screw social media. That noise is the king of mixed signals. Until I quit checking, I was going crazy. Mine still had pics of ours up from attending comic-con, but told me she was seeing someone, and hadn't posted in a month. Instead of thinking she is just probably down because of me and the holidays, I began to think she was hiding posts.

 

That type of thinking is unhealthy. Block social media, quit looking for things that aren't there.

 

I am now 3 months post breakup. I have bad days, but the good days are becoming more frequent. You will too.

 

Simply put, leave her alone. If she wants you she will let you know. Anything else is just hurting you and her.

[devilmaycry]

First - I went through the same thing. I was in your shoes for months. I would try and back away, and my ex would send texts and bikini shots. I would think things are getting somewhere, and she would pull away. Got tired, went NC for 3 weeks. Went to see her, told her I loved her, more mixed signals. Except this time she made fun of me to her friends. Then I was over it. Then a love song comes in, then two good talks, then nothing.

 

I sent one final email, explaining the growth I had experienced, and how I was a better person. After that, I am NC for good.

 

So I understand mixed signals. Reality is this:

 

She may be confused, but she has a boyfriend now. That is fact, based on your statements.

 

Your continued pursuit only continues to confuse her, and push her to the other guy.

 

She does not care about you like you do her. This one was the hardest for me to accept.

 

And honestly, screw social media. That noise is the king of mixed signals. Until I quit checking, I was going crazy. Mine still had pics of ours up from attending comic-con, but told me she was seeing someone, and hadn't posted in a month. Instead of thinking she is just probably down because of me and the holidays, I began to think she was hiding posts.

 

That type of thinking is unhealthy. Block social media, quit looking for things that aren't there.

 

I am now 3 months post breakup. I have bad days, but the good days are becoming more frequent. You will too.

 

Simply put, leave her alone. If she wants you she will let you know. Anything else is just hurting you and her.

 

I'm actually not pursuing her, i didn't mention anything to her about wanting her back when we talked i just was making her laugh and she said "stop making me laugh, i'm trying to be sad haha" etc. I just showed her i changed and i think she saw that too. I had 35 days NC before i sent her a message and I don't plan on contacting her at all anymore because i want to respect her wishes even if she doesn't love me anymore that doesn't change the fact i love her and want her to be happy even if it's never again with me. I just wanted to hear your guys input on wheather she still loves me but is hurt or she just plain moved on and doesn't care anymore so i should too.