elenanic5757 Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 What would you? I am so ill this morning, please help. Z I have been dating my bf for 8 months, he recently moved in. When we met he was just out of a 9 year relationship (she ended it). Things have been going so well. His ex recently sent me a mail saying that he has told her he would get back with her in a heartbeat, he wants to meet her. He has told her he wouldn t be messaging her if was happy with me and that he loves her and there is no contest between her and anyone else.
darkmoon Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 unless the ex shows you the message, assume she is lying, he must tell her to leave you two alone, he is your boyf not hers 2
Author elenanic5757 Posted November 12, 2016 Author Posted November 12, 2016 I have been dating my bf for 8 months, he recently moved in. When we met he was just out of a 9 year relationship (she ended it). Things have been going so well. His ex recently sent me a mail saying that he has told her he would get back with her in a heartbeat, he wants to meet her. He has told her he wouldn t be messaging her if was happy with me and that he loves her and there is no contest between her and anyone else. She was nice in the message and said she has nothing to gain from letting me know this, she is engaged but he contacted her with this. She said she was really sorry to have to send that but that no woman deserves to be second best and she would like to know if it were her. She says it s all in black and white messages if I don t believe her.
BaileyB Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 She is lying, unless you see the messages. He needs to tell her to back off. However, if he tells you this, then I would wish them all the best together. That would be another story and I would not waste another moment on him. 1
BluesPower Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 Yes tell her to send you the messages. And if she does not you can assume that she is lying. If she does send them to you, then you will know the truth. If it is true, you should kick him out. If it is not, you still have to confront him in order to get her to leave you alone and clear the air. He should not be in contact with her in any way if he is committed to you. 3
Author elenanic5757 Posted November 12, 2016 Author Posted November 12, 2016 I have been dating my bf for 8 months, he recently moved in. When we met he was just out of a 9 year relationship (she ended it). Things have been going so well. His ex recently sent me a mail saying that he has told her he would get back with her in a heartbeat, he wants to meet her. He has told her he wouldn t be messaging her if was happy with me and that he loves her and there is no contest between her and anyone else. She was nice in the message and said she has nothing to gain from letting me know this, she is engaged but he contacted her with this. She said she was really sorry to have to send that but that no woman deserves to be second best and she would like to know if it were her. She says it s all in black and white messages if I dont believe her. What would you do?
Eternal Sunshine Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 Every time in my life I was contacted by someone's ex with some "crazy claims" it was because the guy I was involved with had serious contact/sex/"betraying to me interaction" with the ex. Women just don't randomly do that with strict NC and without a trigger. You should seriously consider that she is telling the truth and ask for evidence. 7
PinkPampies Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 ^^^^ This absolutely. Happened to me recently as well. If the ex contacts you, be assured the two are still in contact. 5
PinkPampies Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 Please believe her. But first, speak to your boyfriend about this. If he's upfront and honest, you have your answer. If not, ask the ex to see the messages. 2
Eternal Sunshine Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 ^^^^ This absolutely. Happened to me recently as well. If the ex contacts you, be assured the two are still in contact. At the very least. 2
ChatroomHero Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 Me I'd ask her to forward the messages and if true, end it immediately and I probably wouldn't even give him a reason. Pack his things, change the locks and put his stuff in storage and let him know where it is at. 3
stillafool Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 Yes definitely ask her to forward his message to you so you can show it to him before you leave or throw him out. He doesn't love you. 1
MarkIVSteel Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 She could easily fabricate the messages. Some exes are really vindictive. 1
elaine567 Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 She could easily fabricate the messages. Some exes are really vindictive. If he had dumped her, then maybe, sour grapes and all of that, but she dumped him and she is not still crying into her coffee, she is now engaged to someone else. She is doing the OP a massive favour. 5
kendahke Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 She could easily fabricate the messages. Some exes are really vindictive. Not if she's sending screen grabs of it. You can't fabricate a message you didn't send. But she dumped him, not the other way around--she ain't trying to get him back and if this is her getting back at him, then perhaps he needed to not be in touch with his ex in the first place. Liar. 4
Erised Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 I would believe her, but say sure on the messages. I'd send a message like that if my ex said that to be kind to his girlfriend. She sounds nice.
darkmoon Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 how did she know where to contact you? are you caught up in his narcissist drama - or hers as she tries to make you and him argue how did she even find out you exist? need to know...
preraph Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 She's just trying to cause trouble. Block her and tell him what she did and that he needs to do the same if he wants to be with you. If he refuses, well, you have your answer. 1
Author elenanic5757 Posted November 13, 2016 Author Posted November 13, 2016 I got this over the weekend and I just don't know what to do. I love my boyfriend but what do you think of this? I feel numb. To the girlfriend, I am not sending this to hurt you at al!! I am the ex. It might be hard to hear but it's important.. I would want to. I have NOTHING to gain from this, I dumped him and I am now engaged and the happiest I've ever been so I'm not sending this to be nasty at all. I believe you don't deserve to be second best. No woman does. I would hate to be that person so here it goes.. I know you two are living together but just know that he has messaged me keenly wanting to meet. He has told me that's there's no contest between you and me . he has told me he would be with me in a heartbeat if given the chance. He said that he is very fond of you but 'obviously he doesn't love you when he still loves me'. These were among other simian sentiments he expressed. I have all of these in black and white text if you think I am only sending out of malice. As charming as he can be he is a great liar, trust your instincts with him. This is not against you at all, not in the slightest. I wish you all the best and hope you aren't angry at receiving this x 2
GoreSP Posted November 13, 2016 Posted November 13, 2016 He messaged her? Ask for print screens of the messages. I bet she'll say they were deleted. Then talk to your boyfriend. 3
Author elenanic5757 Posted November 13, 2016 Author Posted November 13, 2016 I got this over the weekend and I just don't know what to do. I love my boyfriend but what do you think of this? I feel numb. To the girlfriend, I am not sending this to hurt you at al!! I am the ex. It might be hard to hear but it's important.. I would want to. I have NOTHING to gain from this, I dumped him and I am now engaged and the happiest I've ever been so I'm not sending this to be nasty at all. I believe you don't deserve to be second best. No woman does. I would hate to be that person so here it goes.. I know you two are living together but just know that he has messaged me keenly wanting to meet. He has told me that's there's no contest between you and me . he has told me he would be with me in a heartbeat if given the chance. He said that he is very fond of you but 'obviously he doesn't love you when he still loves me'. These were among other similar sentiments he expressed. I have all of these in black and white text if you think I am only sending out of malice. As charming as he can be he is a great liar, trust your instincts with him. This is not against you at all, not in the slightest. I wish you all the best and hope you aren't angry at receiving this x
kamu7 Posted November 13, 2016 Posted November 13, 2016 sigh. i'd ask for the copies of proof, to put your mind at rest, but tbh i would think the message is probably true. then once/if you have proof, you can ask your bf to explain, but i promise you, you're going to get severely gaslighted/manipulated. my ex was seeing me while he was seeing another girl. he didn't tell me he was seeing the other girl; then i found out; and i ended up messaging her because i felt pretty bad for her (it was clear she had no idea and he didn't care) and i guess i also kind of wanted to stick it to him for being such a sleaze.. so yeah, i've sent one of those messages before and it was extremely unpleasant to send, let me tell you, but i couldn't shake the niggle that i had to do it. i can't imagine anyone at a certain maturity level writing a message like that if its contents weren't true. 3
Author elenanic5757 Posted November 13, 2016 Author Posted November 13, 2016 Thanks for input, if she sends messages as I will ask her to and all checks out, what would you do? Her message sounds sincere feel so sick
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