is he giving me the brush off?

[chumly]

I am trying to figure out what happened and I am hoping someone might be able to shed some light...

 

there is this man that I have been talking to for a little while from a dating site. I have been out of town so we have not met as of yet. He is a bit of an offbeat person and lives an alternative lifestyle (he is a hippie). I was really excited to communicate with him because he is an ethical vegan, like myself and seemed to think in a very similar way to myself about alot of things in life so I sent him some rather long messages originally and he responded to all my messages at the time very quickly and detailed back. He indicated that he took my long messages as an indication of interest in him and he reassured me that he felt the same. However, I was a bit taken back to find out that he was looking for an open relationship...where he would like to have multiple sex partners. This is not really something I am looking for myself but I was still sort of interested in communicating with him anyway since we had so many other things in common. He also expressed that he felt there was real potential with me as someone he would like to have as possible life partner. He felt like I was a great fit for him from how we were getting along so far...and he was really looking forward to meeting me and spending time to find out for sure. He definitely seemed to be interested in me in alot of ways at that point.

 

Anyway, this last week I noticed that his messages to me started dwindling down a bit. I sent him some rather long messages and he would barely respond and one night we talked on the phone and his batteries went off in his phone and we got disconnected. I sent him a message to see if everything was okay but I did not hear back from him for the entire day but yet I noticed he was on facebook posting things. He did try and call me a few times after that but like I said overall the communications have been more or less one sided lately (from me to him )..however, I know he told me a number of times that he preferred to talk on the phone as opposed to emails so tonight I sent him a message at around 8PM asking him if he would be available to talk at 11:30 PM. He said he would ..so with this in mind I was really looking forward to talking to him but for some reason he called me at 11PM. I was in the middle of a call with my job at the moment so I sent him a quick message to let him know that i got his call and that i was still planning on calling him at 11:30 as we agreed. I did not hear back from him in the emails so I just called him as I planned (I was a little late..I called at 11:40) but he did not pick up so I left a voice message and I left an email telling him to call anytime tonight. He has not called and at this point i doubt that he will. I started thinking about everything and sent him another message and said the following...

 

"I guess your not calling. I was really looking forward to chatting tonight...maybe u got a better deal in that case...;(

ok..well if you are still available and want to talk please call but if not I guess well just do it another time

 

take care and good luck"

 

My messages to him are usually alot more mooshy than that. I kind of put that "good luck" in there to put a bit of finality to the situation in a way. I guess I am feeling like he is giving me the "brush off" in a sense but I am angered that he is not honest enough to admit it even though he claims that he is extremely honest about everything. I dont feel he is being honest with me in this situation at all. I even sent a message to him asking this very question and he said was still very interested and excited about meeting me very much but if i cant get a simple conversation going with him anymore than I dont see the point.

 

Anyway, I know I have a tendency to overanalyze things but I would like others views on this...does he sound like he is giving me the brush off from the way I have described things? I also thought it was strange that i told him I would call him at 11:30pm and he agreed to that but he called me at 11PM instead. I did not understand why he would do that when I told him I would call him. I also think it is a bit rude to tell someone your available to talk at a certain time but not pick up or at least send an email to explain why you can not do so. The entire thing makes no sense..he is honest enough to tell me he wants an open relationship with people. He even told me about some women that he has had sexual relations with a few time since talking to him but yet he is not honest enough to tell me what is going on or that he has lost interest in me??

 

Anyway, any thoughts on all of this would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.

Edited November 12, 2016 by chumly

[selinaluv]

How long have you both been talking?

 

He may be getting tired of the talking and is losing interest because he has not met you yet.

 

I have noticed most men can only sustain the online conversation for so long before they either want a meet up or get bored from the talking and lack of initiative to meet.

 

I know for myself I also get the same way and find that the more conversation lingers, the less interested I become over time.

 

It is nice to have written conversation, but in time that gets old and you want to meet. Otherwise what is the point of being on the dating sites?

 

I know you have said you are out of town, but that may not be enough to hold his interest... especially if he is out meeting other women.

[chumly]

How long have you both been talking?

 

He may be getting tired of the talking and is losing interest because he has not met you yet.

 

I have noticed most men can only sustain the online conversation for so long before they either want a meet up or get bored from the talking and lack of initiative to meet.

 

I know for myself I also get the same way and find that the more conversation lingers, the less interested I become over time.

 

It is nice to have written conversation, but in time that gets old and you want to meet. Otherwise what is the point of being on the dating sites?

 

I know you have said you are out of town, but that may not be enough to hold his interest... especially if he is out meeting other women.

 

thanks..yes, I suppose that is possible. We have only communicated for about 3 weeks or so, I would say.

 

I dont understand why he cant just let me know that he is no longer interested though..he seems to have no problem going into details of his sex life to me with other ladies...if he could do that he should be able to be honest with me and also why agree to a phone call at a certain time and then not be there?? I suppose he may have fallen asleep but I guess when I put this together with his lack of emails back to me it really makes me wonder about the whole thing. I think it is wrong for him not to be upfront and honest with me if he is no longer interested. This seems like childish games to me now.

 

I guess I did not really like or agree with his views on having an open relationship anyway but I was going along with everything because I liked so many other things about him..one of those things was his honesty. I guess this whole thing is making me realize he is not as honest as he would like to think he is. I guess this should indicate even more so that he is not for me.

 

Anyway, thanks so much for the helpful response. I really appreciate it.

[elaine567]

This "relationship" was patently going nowhere from his point of view.

So after the bragging to you about his sexual conquests and after putting a hook in the water to see if you would bite, to no avail, he decided he is not going to be your penpal and chat buddy on the phone for ever.

 

People on dating sites are NOT going to hang around being your friend, when they are in the midst in the serious business of finding someone to date/have sex with.

I also guess this guy may be married/attached and no doubt his wife/gf knows nothing about his "open relationships", so he may be just laying low at the moment.

 

YOU got far too involved with someone who had no potential whatsoever, or did you really think you could change him?

[chumly]

This "relationship" was patently going nowhere from his point of view.

So after the bragging to you about his sexual conquests and after putting a hook in the water to see if you would bite, to no avail, he decided he is not going to be your penpal and chat buddy on the phone for ever.

 

People on dating sites are NOT going to hang around being your friend, when they are in the midst in the serious business of finding someone to date/have sex with.

I also guess this guy may be married/attached and no doubt his wife/gf knows nothing about his "open relationships", so he may be just laying low at the moment.

 

YOU got far too involved with someone who had no potential whatsoever, or did you really think you could change him?

 

nope..never thought I could change him but just expected him to do what he said..which was to be there to talk when he said he would for a phone call.

 

I guess he could be lying about his marital status but since he was honest about all these other women in his life I am not sure why he would not be upfront about that too. He said he does not believe in marriage. We also became FB friends and I see nothing on there that indicates he is married and he has tons of FB friends.

 

I was not trying to change him..I know what he is about and did not really decide for sure my total feelings on it for me since it was kind of something I never got involved with...so I did not verbally reject or accept the idea of an open relationship to him and also never indicated that I just wanted to be friends with him either.

[introverted1]

Chumly, this is the 3rd (or 4th?) guy you have met online that you have tried to engage in a protracted pen-pal situation. It seems that what you want is to have some sort of email/phone relationship where you profess feelings for each other but never meet. IIRC there was one guy you were corresponding with over a period of 3 months! Frankly, I am amazed that you've found multiple guys willing to hang in there for as along as they have.

 

This guy is likely not giving you a brush off so much as realising that you have no intention of ever meeting. I know you are going to say that you were still evaluating whether you wanted to meet, but your actions don't align with the medium you've chosen for finding men. Most people don't want an endless email correspondence. They are online because they actually want to meet someone! This means a few emails, a phone call, and then a meet-up. I don't OLD and even I know this!

 

In any case, I don't see why the advice this time would be any different than it's been in all the other threads you've made about essentially this same issue. I don't say this to be harsh but this is a classic case of proving the saying that insanity is repeating the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

[chumly]

Chumly, this is the 3rd (or 4th?) guy you have met online that you have tried to engage in a protracted pen-pal situation. It seems that what you want is to have some sort of email/phone relationship where you profess feelings for each other but never meet. IIRC there was one guy you were corresponding with over a period of 3 months! Frankly, I am amazed that you've found multiple guys willing to hang in there for as along as they have.

 

This guy is likely not giving you a brush off so much as realising that you have no intention of ever meeting. I know you are going to say that you were still evaluating whether you wanted to meet, but your actions don't align with the medium you've chosen for finding men. Most people don't want an endless email correspondence. They are online because they actually want to meet someone! This means a few emails, a phone call, and then a meet-up. I don't OLD and even I know this!

 

In any case, I don't see why the advice this time would be any different than it's been in all the other threads you've made about essentially this same issue. I don't say this to be harsh but this is a classic case of proving the saying that insanity is repeating the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

 

but how can I meet someone when I am out of town and why would he agree to a phone call and then not be there for that call?

 

This is the part I cant figure out. If he does not want to wait until I get back shouldnt he just be honest about that? I really did not have a problem with meeting him when I got back until now... He does seem interested in meeting me but never indicated that he was getting fed up with the fact that I am out of town. I just dont understand why he cant just be honest and tell me if he does not want to talk on the phone, email, etc. ..this is the part that i am having a problem with...the dishonesty of his feelings if this is in fact the situation.

 

And like I said, how can I meet him if I am out of town at the time?? He knew this but was perfectly willing to talk with me on the phone and email until this week for some reason.

Edited November 12, 2016 by chumly

[chumly]

Chumly, this is the 3rd (or 4th?) guy you have met online that you have tried to engage in a protracted pen-pal situation. It seems that what you want is to have some sort of email/phone relationship where you profess feelings for each other but never meet. IIRC there was one guy you were corresponding with over a period of 3 months! Frankly, I am amazed that you've found multiple guys willing to hang in there for as along as they have.

 

This guy is likely not giving you a brush off so much as realising that you have no intention of ever meeting. I know you are going to say that you were still evaluating whether you wanted to meet, but your actions don't align with the medium you've chosen for finding men. Most people don't want an endless email correspondence. They are online because they actually want to meet someone! This means a few emails, a phone call, and then a meet-up. I don't OLD and even I know this!

 

In any case, I don't see why the advice this time would be any different than it's been in all the other threads you've made about essentially this same issue. I don't say this to be harsh but this is a classic case of proving the saying that insanity is repeating the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

 

and by the way, it has only been 2 other men I talked about on here and the one of them i eventually did meet. The other one turned out to be not worth meeting at all...or at least not at this point in my life.

[introverted1]

but how can I meet someone when I am out of town and why would he agree to a phone call and then not be there for that call?

 

This is the part I cant figure out. If he does not want to wait until I get back shouldnt he just be honest about that? I really did not have a problem with meeting him when I got back until now... He does seem interested in meeting me but never indicated that he was getting fed up with the fact that I am out of town. I just dont understand why he cant just be honest and tell me if he does not want to talk on the phone, email, etc. ..this is the part that i am having a problem with...the dishonesty of his feelings if this is in fact the situation.

 

And like I said, how can I meet him if I am out of town at the time?? He knew this but was perfectly willing to talk with me on the phone and email until this week for some reason.

 

How often are you out of town? This seems to be a recurring theme in your threads.

 

Again, here's the thing: people use OLD as a way to actually meet other people. So if you're going to be out of town for a week, it's no big deal - you set up the meeting for the following week when you're back.

 

But I don't get the sense that's what you are doing. You want a LOT of email and phone contact while you decide whether to meet but you never actually get to a decision point.

 

In any case, it's going to be a rare guy who wants to have multiple "phone dates" while you decide whether you want to meet. You said in your OP that you've been talking for THREE WEEKS! That's two weeks too long to have set up a date. So either:

 

- You've been out of town for 3 weeks and plan to be out of town for at least one more week, in which case you should deactivate your profile until you are actually in a position to meet someone.

 

- Being out of town is a way for you to legitimize your unwillingness to actually meet someone, in which case you should deactivate your profile because you are just stringing people (yourself included) along.

 

Chumly, OLD is supposed to facilitate a f2f meeting, not serve as a protracted vetting process. So basically, within a one week period you should be able to accomplish something like this:

 

- 2-3 messages on the site

- phone call

- initial meeting if the above went well, end of contact if not

 

If you can't (or won't) use the process as it's intended, don't be surprised when guys get tired of waiting and move on to contacting women who actually want to go on a date!

Edited November 12, 2016 by introverted1

[elaine567]

nope..never thought I could change him but just expected him to do what he said..which was to be there to talk when he said he would for a phone call.

 

Read what you wrote (in bold.)

Anyway,

this last week I noticed that his messages to me started dwindling down a bit.

 

I sent him some rather long messages and

 

he would barely respond and one night we talked on the phone and his batteries went off in his phone and we got disconnected. I sent him a message to see if everything was okay but

 

I did not hear back from him for the entire day but yet I noticed he was on facebook posting things.

He did try and call me a few times after that but like I said overall

 

the communications have been more or less one sided lately (from me to him )..however, I know he told me a number of times that he preferred to talk on the phone as opposed to emails so tonight I sent him a message at around 8PM asking him if he would be available to talk at 11:30 PM. He said he would ..so with this in mind I was really looking forward to talking to him but for some reason he called me at 11PM. I was in the middle of a call with my job at the moment so I sent him a quick message to let him know that i got his call and that i was still planning on calling him at 11:30 as we agreed.

I did not hear back from him in the emails

so I just called him as I planned (I was a little late..I called at 11:40) but

he did not pick up so I left a voice message and I left an email telling him to call anytime tonight.

He has not called and at this point i doubt that he will. I started thinking about everything and sent him another message and said the following...

YOU sent ANOTHER message????

The man has obviously little or no interest, why are you still hanging on here?

[chumly]

How often are you out of town? This seems to be a recurring theme in your threads.

 

Again, here's the thing: people use OLD as a way to actually meet other people. So if you're going to be out of town for a week, it's no big deal - you set up the meeting for the following week when you're back.

 

But I don't get the sense that's what you are doing. You want a LOT of email and phone contact while you decide whether to meet but you never actually get to a decision point.

 

In any case, it's going to be a rare guy who wants to have multiple "phone dates" while you decide whether you want to meet. You said in your OP that you've been talking for THREE WEEKS! That's two weeks too long to have set up a date. So either:

 

- You've been out of town for 3 weeks and plan to be out of town for at least one more week, in which case you should deactivate your profile until you are actually in a position to meet someone.

 

- Being out of town is a way for you to legitimize your unwillingness to actually meet someone, in which case you should deactivate your profile because you are just stringing people (yourself included) along.

 

Chumly, OLD is supposed to facilitate a f2f meeting, not serve as a protracted vetting process. So basically, within a one week period you should be able to accomplish something like this:

 

- 2-3 messages on the site

- phone call

- initial meeting if the above went well, end of contact if not

 

If you can't (or won't) use the process as it's intended, don't be surprised when guys get tired of waiting and move on to contacting women who actually want to go on a date!

 

I told him that we can wait until i get back to talk and then meet but he wanted to talk. I gave him that option. He did not indicate that he was upset by any of this. It seems like you are just inferring how you would feel if it were you but this did not seem to be the case with him and like i said, if it was he should have just said so. He says he is honest..so not telling me make no sense considering the kind of person he professes to be. This is my whole point and frustration. And by the way, I have had some men want to talk to me for a while first too so again, this is just your interpretation of things about him..it all may be true but I dont understand why he has not told me about any of his feelings if that is the case.

[chumly]

Read what you wrote (in bold.)

 

YOU sent ANOTHER message????

The man has obviously little or no interest, why are you still hanging on here?

 

I am not understanding your point

[chumly]

I think you people are missing the point. I am just trying to figure out why he is not being honest with me if he is not interested or frustrated with me??

 

I know there is no way for anybody to know this but I guess I just needed to vent.

 

I would be a little disappointed but fine if he decided he wants to move on but I am alot more disappointed that he is not more honest about things. I almost want to tell him off and let him know he is not the good person he is claiming to be. He told me over and over again that he already considers me a friend and a good one at that so that is why his actions are so surprising but I am just not sure if I am reading into his actions too soon though. Maybe I need to give it a bit more time first to see what happens...but either way, I am not going to contact him anymore...with the exception of possibly telling him he is not as kind as he says he is in his profile.

 

PS..he likes alot of my FB posts and has told me so many times how wonderful he thinks I am. ..so like I said, all of this is just a bit surprising.

Edited November 12, 2016 by chumly

[BaileyB]

First, he said he wanted an open relationship. you said, "it's not really what I'm looking for, but I would have continued to talk with him because we had so much in common."

 

Wih all due respect, that should have ended the conversation right there. That is a HUGE incompatibility. It's obvious why he would end communication at that point, because you are searching for different things. Why, dear chumly, would you continue to try to establish a relationship, "a friendship," with someone who has told you so clearly that he wants something from you that you can not give.

 

This is not the first guy who you have begun communicating with online, who has essentially been "unavailable" for the kind of relationship you are hoping to find. Men go online to find someone to date, to have sex, and for this guy, to find a woman's treated in an open relationship. I can appreciate the fact that you are trying to connect with people, but I think the question you have to ask yourself is what do you really want and why you get so over-involved with these men? Because, to be fair, it just seems like you are setting yourself up to be hurt by chasing men who don't want what you want from a relationship.

[JewelD]

Lack of communication from him is him being honest. Lots of people aren't going to just come out and say they don't feel like talking to you. You just won't hear from them and that needs to be enough sometimes. Especially if this has been a recurring theme with this guy. He might talk to you again later if he gets bored but what's the point? He probably thinks you're not going to meet anytime soon.

 

Not to mention the fact that he wants an open relationship and you don't. It doesn't matter if he's the greatest man on Earth, you two are looking for different things so there's really no point in pussyfooting around the situation unless you have dreams of being a sister wife one day.

 

Please move on from this situation and do not tell this guy off. He did not do anything wrong here so it will just make you look crazy as hell. He probably already suspects that since you have been messaging him despite his low level of interest and communication.

[BaileyB]

I think you people are missing the point. I am just trying to figure out why he is not being honest with me if he is not interested or frustrated with me.

 

I would be a little disappointed but fine if he decided he wants to move on but I am alot more disappointed that he is not more honest about things. I almost want to tell him off and let him know he is not the good person he is claiming to be.

 

He is who he is and you can't control his behavior. The only person you can control is yourself. Don't waste another moment of your time worrying or wondering about someone who is not worth your time!

[JewelD]

 

PS..he likes alot of my FB posts and has told me so many times how wonderful he thinks I am. ..so like I said, all of this is just a bit surprising.

 

He doesn't even know you. But lots of men will say anything to get the panty drawers. And in his case it's going fairly well. You don't know anything about him and he's blowing you off and you're still interested in him.

[chumly]

First, he said he wanted an open relationship. you said, "it's not really what I'm looking for, but I would have continued to talk with him because we had so much in common."

 

Wih all due respect, that should have ended the conversation right there. That is a HUGE incompatibility. It's obvious why he would end communication at that point, because you are searching for different things. Why, dear chumly, would you continue to try to establish a relationship, "a friendship," with someone who has told you so clearly that he wants something from you that you can not give.

 

This is not the first guy who you have begun communicating with online, who has essentially been "unavailable" for the kind of relationship you are hoping to find. Men go online to find someone to date, to have sex, and for this guy, to find a woman's treated in an open relationship. I can appreciate the fact that you are trying to connect with people, but I think the question you have to ask yourself is what do you really want and why you get so over-involved with these men? Because, to be fair, it just seems like you are setting yourself up to be hurt by chasing men who don't want what you want from a relationship.

 

Thankyou for some great advice here! yes, I see your point with this but even though I said on here that was not really what I was looking for I never said it to him...and the truth is that I liked certain things about him so much that even though that was not ideally what I wanted I started considering it a bit since he seemed so very honest about things and so great in so many different ways. I was kind of toying with the idea a little bit.

 

I guess I got so caught up with him because I got the feeling he was really liking me for who I was and seemed so happy that I was a vegan like him. It is very very difficult to find vegans and especially ethical vegans ...in particular it is difficult where I live to find this so in this case this is why I started getting this way about him and I even told him that and he indicated that he felt the same. He just seemed so different and unique than anybody I had come across..but his actions now are indicating that he might not be as special and unique as I thought unfortunately.

 

Anyway, thanks BaileyB for the great advice. I really appreciate it.

[chumly]

He doesn't even know you. But lots of men will say anything to get the panty drawers. And in his case it's going fairly well. You don't know anything about him and he's blowing you off and you're still interested in him.

 

so i guess this means you think he is blowing me off?? That was the part I could not totally figure out.because he still called but earlier in the evening but was not there when I called at the time we agreed. He still messages me but far less than he did.

 

I am losing interest in him now though..I am just shocked that he is not who he appeared to be.

[JewelD]

He's definitely not as interested as a person should be if they want to potentially date you. If he really liked you, he would have stayed up to get your phone call. But you have been chatting without meeting for several weeks so it's not surprising that the interest level is not where it should be. Things might have been different if you met and went out on a date the first or second week but this one seems like a done deal. As it should be since you don't want an open relationship and he does.

[chumly]

He is who he is and you can't control his behavior. The only person you can control is yourself. Don't waste another moment of your time worrying or wondering about someone who is not worth your time!

 

yes, I know u r right. Thanks..the ethical vegan thing is what keeps making me think he is a good person at heart but I guess in this case it might not be true. I have to realize that not all vegans are necessarily good...even ethical ones can be horrible.

 

Thanks again:)

[chumly]

He's definitely not as interested as a person should be if they want to potentially date you. If he really liked you, he would have stayed up to get your phone call. But you have been chatting without meeting for several weeks so it's not surprising that the interest level is not where it should be. Things might have been different if you met and went out on a date the first or second week but this one seems like a done deal. As it should be since you don't want an open relationship and he does.

 

 

ok, thanks for your input on that! I was thinking the same thing. people usually wait up or communicate better when they are interested in someone..although sometimes things can happen even when someone is interested..but between that and the lack of messages to me this past week I guess his lack of action is saying what he is too cowardly and immature to tell me . it still infuriates me that he cant be honest about it since he bragged to me about how honest he was and indicates in his profile that he is a kind person..and I also flat out asked him.

well, I am not going to bother contacting him anymore. I might even remove him from my FB too.

I feel like I would feel better if i told him off though but i wont do anything right away. Anyway, thanks for the honest input again;)

[JewelD]

People do a lot of cowardly and immature things and dating but I wouldn't consider this one of them. It's possible he didn't tell you he did not want to talk to you anymore because he wants to keep you on the back burner just in case. I don't think you would have taken it very well if he had told you he wasn't interested anyway. Then you would have been angry that he didn't tell you sooner and you would have trouble understanding why he had lost interest.

 

You need to get used to things like this. Not because you're going to get rejected all of the time, but it is going to happen and most of the time the person is not going to flat out tell you they're done or why they're done. Sometimes they don't even know themselves. Just make your own decisions about them based on their actions, not their words.

 

And a man could sweet talk to you all day but then turn around and treat you like a non priority. You don't need to wait around to hear him say you're not a priority, he has already shown you and you need to accept it and believe it and act accordingly.

 

I strongly encourage you not to tell this guy off. It's not productive and there's a good chance he will either ignore you or tell you off and say some things that really upset you. Accept it for what it is and move on to the next one.

[elaine567]

He told me over and over again that he already considers me a friend and a good one at that...

 

Why on earth would he say that?

He knows very little about you. You have only known him for about three weeks and for one of those weeks he hardly communicated with you...

 

Forget what men say and watch their actions instead.

Men who keep "saying" that they are honest and kind, are often only doing that to manipulate you and lull you into a false sense of security.

Men who ARE honesty and kind never mention the fact, they just ACT honest and kind.

[chumly]

People do a lot of cowardly and immature things and dating but I wouldn't consider this one of them. It's possible he didn't tell you he did not want to talk to you anymore because he wants to keep you on the back burner just in case. I don't think you would have taken it very well if he had told you he wasn't interested anyway. Then you would have been angry that he didn't tell you sooner and you would have trouble understanding why he had lost interest.

 

You need to get used to things like this. Not because you're going to get rejected all of the time, but it is going to happen and most of the time the person is not going to flat out tell you they're done or why they're done. Sometimes they don't even know themselves. Just make your own decisions about them based on their actions, not their words.

 

And a man could sweet talk to you all day but then turn around and treat you like a non priority. You don't need to wait around to hear him say you're not a priority, he has already shown you and you need to accept it and believe it and act accordingly.

 

I strongly encourage you not to tell this guy off. It's not productive and there's a good chance he will either ignore you or tell you off and say some things that really upset you. Accept it for what it is and move on to the next one.

 

Thanks..that is great advice! I guess you are right..sometimes that does just happen. It has even happened to me a few times..where I lost interest for no real good reason. Maybe you are right when you say that I would not really want to hear him say that either. I am already questioning things as is so I might feel worse if he came right out and said that to me.

 

Ok, I will strongly consider everything that you are saying here. It might be one of those passing feelings that will go away once I start communicating with others or just socializing with others. I guess I knew in my heart that he was not really right for me. I just really loved the idea of having another ethical vegan to relate to in my life...but that was probably the only major thing we really had in common anyway and it really is a MAJOR thing for me but certainly not the only thing.

 

Anyway, thanks again JewelD for the advice. I really appreciate it.