Cheryl11111111111111 Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 (edited) I will be closely watching those that respond. Online, I met this really great guy. I haven't met him but I will be on Sunday and I feel both excited and nervous at the same time. I am excited because he is a great influence from what I can tell about him but I am also nervous that he might be associated with previous catfish accounts. True story! I promised I would never connect with anyone online. Especially after a former coworker and his friend turned it into something very disturbing. I was gang stalked, harassed and many other things. The more I stood up for myself the more they came at me. I am torn. I think he's involved but I also know if he isn't, then I would regret not taking the chance. If he is involved, and I let him meet my son what if he is involved and it doesn't have a chance at a solid friendship because the intension wasn't there in the first place. I am going to school and dealing with a lot. I completely messed up on both my son and my routine and I am starting to think I could use a friend in our town. He's successful. Has the exact same thing I suspect my son has. Adhd! Would you guys take a chance or save yourself and just not go! Sorry about my grammar. I start my course in January. I will log on and here what you have to say. I suspect some may want to more information. The bottom line is, do I let my bad experience screw me out of a potentially great friendship or tell myself, for the time being maybe don't put yourself in the same predicament you have been and meet someone in person elsewhere. Further. I connected with an older senior coffee buddy and I regret it. If there was one encounter I could take back, it would be that amongst others. Very offensive. At one point he said "everyone is going to like you, suggesting that was what I wanted". They were previously bad so I am very nervous about this one. Edited November 12, 2016 by Cheryl11111111111111
Redhead14 Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 I will be closely watching those that respond. Online, I met this really great guy. I haven't met him but I will be on Sunday and I feel both excited and nervous at the same time. I am excited because he is a great influence from what I can tell about him but I am also nervous that he might be associated with previous catfish accounts. True story! I promised I would never connect with anyone online. Especially after a former coworker and his friend turned it into something very disturbing. I was gang stalked, harassed and many other things. The more I stood up for myself the more they came at me. I am torn. I think he's involved but I also know if he isn't, then I would regret not taking the chance. If he is involved, and I let him meet my son what if he is involved and it doesn't have a chance at a solid friendship because the intension wasn't there in the first place. I am going to school and dealing with a lot. I completely messed up on both my son and my routine and I am starting to think I could use a friend in our town. He's successful. Has the exact same thing I suspect my son has. Adhd! Would you guys take a chance or save yourself and just not go! Sorry about my grammar. I start my course in January. I will log on and here what you have to say. I suspect some may want to more information. The bottom line is, do I let my bad experience screw me out of a potentially great friendship or tell myself, for the time being maybe don't put yourself in the same predicament you have been and meet someone in person elsewhere. Further. I connected with an older senior coffee buddy and I regret it. If there was one encounter I could take back, it would be that amongst others. Very offensive. At one point he said "everyone is going to like you, suggesting that was what I wanted". They were previously bad so I am very nervous about this one. Your son is your #1 priority ALWAYS. You don't let a man meet your son until you know what's what with the guy and backed up with empirical evidence and knowledge . . . you don't expose your son to a "chance" . . .
Author Cheryl11111111111111 Posted November 12, 2016 Author Posted November 12, 2016 Thank you. The entire purpose is to give my son and I more exposure to better people. My son has been just as isolated as I am and now he's home schooled. The idea would be a friend for both of us! I am not really sure if this is a good idea to happen Sunday but eventually. I don't know what to do. I should just delete everything and say no more but then if he's not involved, I know I'll not only wonder but regret it. He seems super cool! but in the past, a former coworker only tested me and put more online so this may not even be a legit connection. I don't know! I need more input. People of LS come on now!
RecentChange Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 Meeting men online in hopes that they will be a friend, or a father figure for your son is a very very very very did I mention very? BAD IDEA. Your son should not meet any men you are interested in, untill you are in a well established relationship. Men coming and going from his life (as what often happens in dating) would be much more damaging than not having any men in his life at all. This is not a reasonable way to socialize your son. What about sports groups? Boy scouts, study clubs, something with his peers and good mentors. A may or may not be catfish that you found online is not a reasonable person to introduce to your son! 2
Author Cheryl11111111111111 Posted November 12, 2016 Author Posted November 12, 2016 Not legit feelings because if they felt anything for you, then they wouldn't want to hurt you. If someone goes out of their way to hurt you, they don't deserve you. I would take it also that if he loved his girlfriend, he would be more occupied in her then showing her off. If I had a new relationship, he would be kept secret until it was official and naturally pronounced.
Zahara Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 Thank you. The entire purpose is to give my son and I more exposure to better people. My son has been just as isolated as I am and now he's home schooled. The idea would be a friend for both of us! I am not really sure if this is a good idea to happen Sunday but eventually. I don't know what to do. I should just delete everything and say no more but then if he's not involved, I know I'll not only wonder but regret it. He seems super cool! but in the past, a former coworker only tested me and put more online so this may not even be a legit connection. I don't know! I need more input. People of LS come on now! You don't expose your son to a man you do not know. Expose your son to other children or other activities with other kids if you want him to have friends, not a grown man you met online. You know this man via online. You know absolutely nothing about him except for the words that he spews. People can present themselves to be anyone they choose to be. Don't be so gullible to already categorize him as a positive influence. 4
Author Cheryl11111111111111 Posted November 12, 2016 Author Posted November 12, 2016 haha look at me go. I posted to the wrong thread. My last comment was for someone else's question.
RecentChange Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 Not legit feelings because if they felt anything for you, then they wouldn't want to hurt you. If someone goes out of their way to hurt you, they don't deserve you. I would take it also that if he loved his girlfriend, he would be more occupied in her then showing her off. If I had a new relationship, he would be kept secret until it was official and naturally pronounced. Huh? What in the world are you talking about?
Author Cheryl11111111111111 Posted November 12, 2016 Author Posted November 12, 2016 Not a father figure. Someone with animals and fun outside equipment. I am still going to meet him but maybe I'll take some time before introducing him to my son and maybe I can find out from our encounter if he's trouble. My gut is usually right on!
Redhead14 Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 Thank you. The entire purpose is to give my son and I more exposure to better people. My son has been just as isolated as I am and now he's home schooled. The idea would be a friend for both of us! I am not really sure if this is a good idea to happen Sunday but eventually. I don't know what to do. I should just delete everything and say no more but then if he's not involved, I know I'll not only wonder but regret it. He seems super cool! but in the past, a former coworker only tested me and put more online so this may not even be a legit connection. I don't know! I need more input. People of LS come on now! You don't find "better people" online!!!!!. Find him a "Big Brother" from the Big Brother organization which is an established organization for mentoring young men whose fathers aren't around. Get your son involved in school sponsored activities, sports, church activities. Go to the school counseling office and get input -- ANYWHERE but from online. If you want to go on a date with the guy, fine. But you don't bring him home. I don't understand your line of thinking here???? 2
Author Cheryl11111111111111 Posted November 12, 2016 Author Posted November 12, 2016 Huh? What in the world are you talking about? I am just horrible at these forums and communicating online. I meant to say that to someone else who asked a question. That wasn't for this forum. Thank you very much for your advice. I need to go, just maybe coffee and give it a few days in between our next date. My gut tells me hes good!
Redhead14 Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 I am just horrible at these forums and communicating online. I meant to say that to someone else who asked a question. That wasn't for this forum. Thank you very much for your advice. I need to go, just maybe coffee and give it a few days in between our next date. My gut tells me hes good! Forget your gut . . . just go and evaluate from there and don't bring him home to your son for a really long time . . . 1
RecentChange Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 What was your gut telling you when you got cat fished?
Author Cheryl11111111111111 Posted November 12, 2016 Author Posted November 12, 2016 I opted out of going. We are alone here. Ive been nothing but catfished since I have arrived to this city. I went to the gym and someone was catfishing me there to draw my attention. I have had meat stolen from my house (yes they were even in my house) and they know I am alone. You are right though and I appreciate it. I can sit on my lonliness a little longer and ignore this until it's gone and then maybe go places like church to meet people. Yes my gut is telling me it's another catfish. I emailed the man directly and told him "they are here for you and not me" it was a guy pushing me away because he felt I was dangerously obsessed with him. It is a story and everyone will say "you should have blocked them" they said "if your over me block me" and I didn't block because I felt to insulted but now I don't want to meet another person in this.
spiderowl Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 It's up to you to decide whether this guy sounds decent or not. Chat with him online and explore his attitude to various things - women, manners, work, people in need. You'll pretty soon get an idea of what he thinks. If you see signs of cruelty, mocking, anger, violence, be aware. If you decided to meet him then: Do not reveal you surname/family name Do not give him your address or even too close an idea of area Do not tell him your date of birth Give him an extra mobile/cell number if you have one rather than the one you use with family/friends Do not tell him where you work - you can say 'nursing' or 'retail' or whatever, but not the address Do not agree to meet him anywhere isolated If you travel on public transport, be random about where you get on/off the bus so you cannot be followed Don't tell him where you are parking your car Meet in a public place where you can easily leave to get home If you are uncomfortable with him, take care you are not followed back to car/bus/taxi Do not tell him your children's names/family names/school, places you frequent Do not introduce him to your family until you have spent several dates with him and are entirely sure you are dealing with a good guy All the above might sound paranoid but you are just starting out. When he shows with time he is a good guy, then you reveal more, bit by bit. This is especially important if you think it is remotely possible he is involved with people who have some kind of vendetta towards you.
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