Stephen8 Posted November 11, 2016 Posted November 11, 2016 It's hard to believe that it's been that long already, 7 months since I have decided to end my relationship with my ex girlfriend and still to this day I feel empty inside. She was absolutely everything that I ever dreamed about, smart, funny , ambitious , beautiful and the ability to enjoy the small things in life. I used to spend all day and night texting and being around with her and while my relationship with my friends and family suffered , I still felt that it was worth it . We would talk about our future together and imagine how we would build our own little road to get there. To some degree I felt that she was always a more dominant person in what she wanted in terms of deciding, but I didn't mind, I was in love. Then one day, it seemed like everything that We have helped built started to slowly collapse. Due to family issues , work and studies , we bagan to slowly grow apart. Becoming irritated at eatch other and losing the spark that we had , we began to argue over small things which would escalate into larger arguments. Things were going south and while I tried to help an donas much as possible it still wasn't enough for her, even when I would come home tired after working all day to spend the next 4 hours doing countless assignments for her own college work. Things were getting really ftrustrating and during an argument I just said I had enough. I wrote her a message which now that I think about it was mean and not thought out properly at all. The aftermath of this was the end of our relationship. We have seen each other on the street but without any greetings . We haven't really moved, as I still have reoccurring dreams of us getting together and her dropping out of college and having no social presence at all anymore. What I don't understand is even after so long, why do I miss her like crazy. I can never look at another girl, in my mind I start to say to myself that she is the most beautiful girl and I will never find someone like that again. I know that it's over but I really wish we could do it again, I think now I would know what not to do and where to do extra. I would love to hear your opinion on what you think.
burnt Posted November 11, 2016 Posted November 11, 2016 The wiser people on this site with good experience and understanding on relationship generally advise people to work on to move on, by focusing on all the healthy things: eat healthy, be around family and friends, exercise, work on yourself, etc. I am one of the dysfunctional fools around here, always stuck on the past. If you feel that much for her, if you are still suffering from the loss so long after the break-up, what do you have to lose by trying to reach out--just in case she feels the same way, just in case, there is that sliver of hope that maybe the two of you have learned something about yourselves from the breakup and are both willing to put what's necessary make it work this time. As I said, I'm a fool, but what do you have to lose, when you are already feeling so hurt?
BluesPower Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 I used to be like Burnt, but I just got to a different place, I think. I sounds like you are very codependent with this girl. I have been there and I finally realized that it is just not where anyone wants to be. Further, you are young, and the chances, in reality, of her being your soulmate or the "One" and very small. I think it may be time for you to move on, get healthy and find someone new. I could go on and on but is that necessary? You broke up with her for a reason. But now you are second guessing yourself? I think in the heat of the moment you made the right decision and second guessing yourself is causing you misery. Go with your gut, in a lot of cases it does make a good decision for you. Find a way to move on and start living. 1
MidnightBlue1980 Posted November 13, 2016 Posted November 13, 2016 Call her tomorrow and find out one way or the other. You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear. Do it! Develop an appreciation for the present moment. Seize every second of your life and savor it. Value your present moments. Using them up in any self-defeating ways means you've lost them forever. -Wayne Dyer The worst thing that one can do is not try, to be aware of what one wants and not give in to it, to spend years in silent hurt wondering if something could have materialized -- and never knowing. -David Viscott Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. -Sydney J. Harris For of all sad words of tongue or pen, The saddest are these: 'It might have been!' -John Greenleaf Whittier, 2
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