Xvis Posted November 11, 2016 Posted November 11, 2016 The story is so long but i will try to make it short. My fiance is always 2 weeks away for work and then 2 weeks home with me and our 2 year old daughter. It was maybe one/two months ago i noticed he stopped texting me as much when he was away for work. When he got home he sat most of the time on his phone and when i woke up one night at 3am he was also at his phone texting. Then he started talking about going away with friends for one weekend. Thats when i felt something was really wrong. To make the story short, he confessed he texted with a woman from work that he really liked. And he even confessed he had a little crush on her. And yes he was planing on meeting her and not "going away with friends". But that he never intended to be romantic with her just friends. My heart went into pieces, i always struggle for the 2 weeks hes gone cus our daughter has a really bad temper, and then he goes to work flirting with another woman. He said he didnt get as much attention from me that he needed. Witch maybe true cus the last 2 years has been so crazy with our child and everything else in life. Cause i dont wear the pink shaded glasses i know crushes are normal in longterm relationship, i had one myself few months ago but i would never act on it or even planning on texting or meeting up when i know whats going on inside my head. I took off my engagement ring cus i was in so much pain. When he realised what he almost had done he promised me he would choose me and focus on our relationship and our family. He put the ring back on my finger and everything was good for a few weeks. Til yesterday when i scroll trough my newsfeed and see that he has liked that woman profilepicture. I got jealous and felt insecure wich has been ever since i first found out about his crush. In total frustration and sadness i sent him screenshot and texted that he dont need to talk to me anymore and that im done feeling like a second choice, that i dont care what he do anymore. He told me he hadnt thought about it like that when he liked the picture and apologized and told me i totally overreacted. That he really just wanna be friends with her when they are at the same workplace. He sound so sincere. The reason i post here now is cus i cant talk about this with friends and family cus when they know and like me they will always see it from my side. My mind is all over the place, i dont know what to think or feel anymore. I need opinions and thoughts from people that dont know me/us. The thought of becoming a single parent is also so so so scary. And my heart breaks even more for our little sweet daughter, i never wanted for her to grow up with separated parents. I know i do overreact sometimes, my confidence is so gone i dont even know if it ever will come back. Am i in the wrong here?
elaine567 Posted November 11, 2016 Posted November 11, 2016 I am sorry to inform you that I do not agree that this was just a "little crush" and I do not honestly believe they are "just friends" going away for the week end together, either.... He is having an affair with her, maybe even living a double life with her whilst he is working away from home. YOU have found out, so his tactic will now be to take this underground. Hire a PI and find out what he really gets up to whilst he is not with you. 2
RecentChange Posted November 11, 2016 Posted November 11, 2016 He's up texting her at 3 am and planned a weekend away with her!? Do you really think that they were just going to - what - talk about football or something? Hes having an affair and not even attempting to hide it from you. How long have you two been together? 1
VeveCakes Posted November 11, 2016 Posted November 11, 2016 There are boundaries being crossed for certain. He really has no need to be hanging out with a woman he has romantic feelings for. I would have lost it too about him liking her pic on Facebook. Maybe he should just go and be with her, you deserve better.
ExpatInItaly Posted November 11, 2016 Posted November 11, 2016 This is no little crush; this is an affair. And it's still happening. OP, I think you are going to find that your finace is not the man you thought he was.
Nadine123 Posted November 11, 2016 Posted November 11, 2016 Im a bit confused as in why you are still calling him fiancee after what he did.
Redhead14 Posted November 11, 2016 Posted November 11, 2016 The story is so long but i will try to make it short. My fiance is always 2 weeks away for work and then 2 weeks home with me and our 2 year old daughter. It was maybe one/two months ago i noticed he stopped texting me as much when he was away for work. When he got home he sat most of the time on his phone and when i woke up one night at 3am he was also at his phone texting. Then he started talking about going away with friends for one weekend. Thats when i felt something was really wrong. To make the story short, he confessed he texted with a woman from work that he really liked. And he even confessed he had a little crush on her. And yes he was planing on meeting her and not "going away with friends". But that he never intended to be romantic with her just friends. My heart went into pieces, i always struggle for the 2 weeks hes gone cus our daughter has a really bad temper, and then he goes to work flirting with another woman. He said he didnt get as much attention from me that he needed. Witch maybe true cus the last 2 years has been so crazy with our child and everything else in life. Cause i dont wear the pink shaded glasses i know crushes are normal in longterm relationship, i had one myself few months ago but i would never act on it or even planning on texting or meeting up when i know whats going on inside my head. I took off my engagement ring cus i was in so much pain. When he realised what he almost had done he promised me he would choose me and focus on our relationship and our family. He put the ring back on my finger and everything was good for a few weeks. Til yesterday when i scroll trough my newsfeed and see that he has liked that woman profilepicture. I got jealous and felt insecure wich has been ever since i first found out about his crush. In total frustration and sadness i sent him screenshot and texted that he dont need to talk to me anymore and that im done feeling like a second choice, that i dont care what he do anymore. He told me he hadnt thought about it like that when he liked the picture and apologized and told me i totally overreacted. That he really just wanna be friends with her when they are at the same workplace. He sound so sincere. The reason i post here now is cus i cant talk about this with friends and family cus when they know and like me they will always see it from my side. My mind is all over the place, i dont know what to think or feel anymore. I need opinions and thoughts from people that dont know me/us. The thought of becoming a single parent is also so so so scary. And my heart breaks even more for our little sweet daughter, i never wanted for her to grow up with separated parents. I know i do overreact sometimes, my confidence is so gone i dont even know if it ever will come back. Am i in the wrong here? Put on your big girl pants and start making an exit plan for yourself. Put away a little money in a separate bank account in your name only. If you can qualify for a credit card in your name, get it and put it aside. Start researching options for day care for your daughter and looking for a job, if you don't work already. You will be doing your daughter no favors by marrying a man who is cheating on you now and sweeping it under the carpet. If you think for one minute that that child will not sense tension and anxiety in the home, you are mistaken. Your daughter is your #1 priority and she deserves a stable home, not one that could fall apart at any minute. You include your family in your plans. You need their support. 1
BluesPower Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 Everyone is right, I am sorry. He has been sleeping with her for a while, and he is not even good at lying about it. At least he could have the decency to try and lie about it better. He must be as dumb as a brick. I think you need to dump this guy yesterday. Of course you feel forgotten because he has a new girl. Don't even think about marrying someone like him, baby daddy or not. Move on and find someone better.
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