lenabean Posted November 11, 2016 Posted November 11, 2016 I just turned 22 and don't have a ton of experience so bear with me here lol. So my ex and I broke up a few months ago. We’ve officially been no contact for a month now. A month ago he reached out to me and we talked like old times. So after that I waited over a week to reach out to him and he just completely ignored me. We haven’t talked since. I made sure to block his texts and phone calls. For those of you who don’t have Snapchat you post something, it appears on your timeline as a thumbnail, people view it, and it shows you who has viewed your snaps. Ok so on Snapchat I never looked at his snaps during our break up. He other hand did a lot, but eventually that came to a stop. The last time he looked was the last time he made contact. I saw that he posted something the day before Halloween (didn’t open it and look though). The next day was my friend’s birthday and I went out and posted things, then I was out with my friends the next day and posted things for Halloween (us out and dressed up), and then lastly on Sunday for my friend’s birthday lunch. After that I hadn’t posted anything for another 3 or 4 days (just the pretty foliage of that day). A lot of people post every day so I really don’t snap a lot and neither does he. Funny thing is he didn't delete my friend. She hadn't used it in a while so I just chalked it up to him forgetting she was on there... Last week something told me to just go check. Lo and behold he deleted me, so he clearly did it between within that week time frame that I just mentioned above. He didn't delete my friend though. Although she hasn't used Snapchat in a few months so I just chalked it up to him forgetting about her... I've been going out and trying to keep my mind off things and I know it’s social media but him deleting me stung A LOT. Like he just doesn’t care or that I annoy him. I don’t know how to explain it. I’m also just confused because I never looked at his stuff. I don’t know I guess this is just my first time going through this (an ex shutting me out completely when nothing happened). We didn’t even break up because of a lack of feelings or because it just wasn’t working per se. I put my foot in my mouth and said something stupid and backed off for a while. Then in turn he backed off and it just became this stupid stand off to not say anything and that’s pretty much how we got here. So because nothing really happened so I’m just having a difficult time wrapping my mind around him trying to get rid of me completely.....
Redhead14 Posted November 11, 2016 Posted November 11, 2016 I just turned 22 and don't have a ton of experience so bear with me here lol. So my ex and I broke up a few months ago. We’ve officially been no contact for a month now. A month ago he reached out to me and we talked like old times. So after that I waited over a week to reach out to him and he just completely ignored me. We haven’t talked since. I made sure to block his texts and phone calls. For those of you who don’t have Snapchat you post something, it appears on your timeline as a thumbnail, people view it, and it shows you who has viewed your snaps. Ok so on Snapchat I never looked at his snaps during our break up. He other hand did a lot, but eventually that came to a stop. The last time he looked was the last time he made contact. I saw that he posted something the day before Halloween (didn’t open it and look though). The next day was my friend’s birthday and I went out and posted things, then I was out with my friends the next day and posted things for Halloween (us out and dressed up), and then lastly on Sunday for my friend’s birthday lunch. After that I hadn’t posted anything for another 3 or 4 days (just the pretty foliage of that day). A lot of people post every day so I really don’t snap a lot and neither does he. Funny thing is he didn't delete my friend. She hadn't used it in a while so I just chalked it up to him forgetting she was on there... Last week something told me to just go check. Lo and behold he deleted me, so he clearly did it between within that week time frame that I just mentioned above. He didn't delete my friend though. Although she hasn't used Snapchat in a few months so I just chalked it up to him forgetting about her... I've been going out and trying to keep my mind off things and I know it’s social media but him deleting me stung A LOT. Like he just doesn’t care or that I annoy him. I don’t know how to explain it. I’m also just confused because I never looked at his stuff. I don’t know I guess this is just my first time going through this (an ex shutting me out completely when nothing happened). We didn’t even break up because of a lack of feelings or because it just wasn’t working per se. I put my foot in my mouth and said something stupid and backed off for a while. Then in turn he backed off and it just became this stupid stand off to not say anything and that’s pretty much how we got here. So because nothing really happened so I’m just having a difficult time wrapping my mind around him trying to get rid of me completely..... He did do this TO YOU, he did it FOR HIMSELF, I'd say. It's just good break up "biness" to remove all reminders of an ex . . . and should be a practice of yours in the future with dating scenarios that end. 2
Author lenabean Posted November 11, 2016 Author Posted November 11, 2016 He did do this TO YOU, he did it FOR HIMSELF, I'd say. It's just good break up "biness" to remove all reminders of an ex . . . and should be a practice of yours in the future with dating scenarios that end. Thanks. Did this for himself, how so?
Emmafive Posted November 11, 2016 Posted November 11, 2016 I always tell friends when they're breaking up with their SO to delete them from all social media. Why? Because it just hurts more in the long run. With that said I'm sure seeing you out and about, enjoying your life, getting over the breakup seemingly well is painful for him to see. He needs to remove that source of the pain. Let's turn the tables here. Why did you block his phone calls and messages? So that you wouldn't be tempted right? It pained you to think about having no contact so if you eliminated any chances of hearing from him you didn't have to think about the 'what if's'-not because you didn't still care for him. All of this applies to him as well. In a weird twisted way he still cares about you. If he was just doing a social media clean up of people he doesn't talk to anymore he would've deleted your friends as well. By the way just because he did this doesn't mean he doesn't care for you and it doesn't mean he wants you out of his life for good. He just needs time to heal. Who knows he might have tried to contact you but because you blocked him he gave up and deleted you. May be he needs to really focus on his studies or work and you're just causing him pain so he needs to remove the distraction. Who knows. I might be a sucker for love haha but as long as you were a good gf and especially since you all didn't end on a bad note and nothing really happened for you to breakup you'll more than likely hear from him again. Don't wait on him. Still continue to live your life, go NC, go out, etc.
Redhead14 Posted November 11, 2016 Posted November 11, 2016 Thanks. Did this for himself, how so? He wants to move on and not be reminded or triggered. He's likely feeling a little bad about it all too. That is why I block/delete from phone and social media whenever I've had a break up. I do it for myself so I'm not reminded of the sadness and pain all the time.
Sweetfish Posted November 11, 2016 Posted November 11, 2016 How did the relationship end in the first place?
Author lenabean Posted November 11, 2016 Author Posted November 11, 2016 (edited) How did the relationship end in the first place? Well I had said something stupid, small, but stupid. He was going out of the country to visit family for 1.5 weeks and I didn't apologize before he left. I apologized when he got back but he was still a little distant so I gave him space. In retrospect I think it was too much space. Then it became this stupid 'who can back off the longest' type thing. Silly really. Then I ran into his roommate and he said he wasn't going out anymore, quit his job, moving out soon. All in all he was making it seem like he was recluse which is nothing like him. His roommate said, 'he's just kind of been in a *pauses*' and I said, "what? in a weird space huh?". He didn't say yes or no he just gave me a look so I took that as a yes. A week after that my ex wanted to see me but I went camping for almost 2 weeks and didn't have reception so I didn't get the message until much later. So I reached out to him and asked if he wanted to grab coffee and said 'Miss you'. He completely ignored me but my guess is he thought I blew him off so in turn he blew me off. A few days later is when he looked at my Snapchat after having stopped for a while and that's when he contacted me. He wasn't in town so I know it wasn't for a booty call. After we talked I reached out to him 10 days later saying I wanted to address what's going on with us and he completely ignored me. Now, 3/4 weeks later he deleted me off social media but not my friends. It's just a shame because a day before this happened he asked if I wanted to take a trip with him :/ My friend is under the impression that there's something else going on with him mainly because of what his roommate told me but how knows. Edited November 11, 2016 by lenabean
VienneseCoffee Posted November 11, 2016 Posted November 11, 2016 I deleted my ex from everything too. Definitely don't want to know what he is doing. 1
cucumber95 Posted November 11, 2016 Posted November 11, 2016 I know how you feel, my ex did same, but straight after breaking up, deleted me from everywhere (even my normal (not romatnic) comments on her fb page...). From someone important in her life, I become no body (or even worse) in 1 second... building everything for months to find out that it wasn't worth anything to her. 1
Author lenabean Posted November 11, 2016 Author Posted November 11, 2016 I deleted my ex from everything too. Definitely don't want to know what he is doing. Why? It's too painful? I wish I had done that. Sucks when it's done to you. I was actually okay. Of course I still missed him but I was going out, have a few dates lined up, kept him blocked on my phone, etc., but this just ugh lol. I'm trying to not to take it personally but knowing he wants me out of his life for good is the part that I'm having a heard time with.
Author lenabean Posted November 11, 2016 Author Posted November 11, 2016 I know how you feel, my ex did same, but straight after breaking up, deleted me from everywhere (even my normal (not romatnic) comments on her fb page...). From someone important in her life, I become no body (or even worse) in 1 second... building everything for months to find out that it wasn't worth anything to her. Sorry to hear that :/. How are you holding up? How long ago did you break up? Have you deleted or blocked her anywhere else?
VienneseCoffee Posted November 11, 2016 Posted November 11, 2016 Why? It's too painful? I wish I had done that. Sucks when it's done to you. I was actually okay. Of course I still missed him but I was going out, have a few dates lined up, kept him blocked on my phone, etc., but this just ugh lol. I'm trying to not to take it personally but knowing he wants me out of his life for good is the part that I'm having a heard time with. Yes, too painful. I don't want to know what he is doing anymore.
BC1980 Posted November 11, 2016 Posted November 11, 2016 Thanks. Did this for himself, how so? His primary motive is to protect himself. His primary motive is not to hurt you. The fact that you are hurt is just the natural outcome. In the future, go ahead and delete and block people proactively, so you won't have to go through the hurt of finding out they blocked you. Because that really does sting. 1
Emilia Posted November 11, 2016 Posted November 11, 2016 I delete my exes because I want to be able to move on in peace. It's self protection, drawing a line under the past. It's not meant to cause hurt or offence. 1
Blastoplast Posted November 11, 2016 Posted November 11, 2016 I deleted my EX from Facebook and Instagram, this is the woman I thought was the one -- 3 years together, yet she thought otherwise. While I was on vacation she liked one of my Instagram photos and it just ripped off the scab while I was healing, and supposed to be having fun with my friends. I deleted her so I could move on and not be reminded or tempted to see what she's been up to. 1
cucumber95 Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 Sorry to hear that :/. How are you holding up? How long ago did you break up? Have you deleted or blocked her anywhere else? I'm getting better, I'm more sad and depressed not because she broke up but how she did it. I did not abused her in any way, so why I deserved break up like that? over text? and then get blocked? ... I blocked her on google hangouts, and I stopped using any social media because I have her mom on my facebook, and while ago she posted new picture of her and her daughters (1 is my ex-gf), and she was all happy, I got depressed and sad, that I still am in pain but she is happy. Whatever, I realized that she wasn't nice person, it keeps me going. 5 days before breakup she told me that she loves me, that she is going to miss me (she went vacation), we kissed, etc... she also told me that when she gets back we going to go cinema, and when she goes to uni we going to move together, and then broke up with me o_O. but for your note she was 17, very inmature... so.
Emilia Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 I'm getting better, I'm more sad and depressed not because she broke up but how she did it. I did not abused her in any way, so why I deserved break up like that? over text? and then get blocked? ... I blocked her on google hangouts, and I stopped using any social media because I have her mom on my facebook, and while ago she posted new picture of her and her daughters (1 is my ex-gf), and she was all happy, I got depressed and sad, that I still am in pain but she is happy. Whatever, I realized that she wasn't nice person, it keeps me going. 5 days before breakup she told me that she loves me, that she is going to miss me (she went vacation), we kissed, etc... she also told me that when she gets back we going to go cinema, and when she goes to uni we going to move together, and then broke up with me o_O. but for your note she was 17, very inmature... so. You should have deleted her mum. I'm sorry that this happened to you, she obviously didn't know how to handle this the right way - though if it's any consolation, break up sucks regardless whether you have a face to face conversation or a text. Nowdays to me the form doesn't really matter. 17 is a kid, by the way. Delete and block, don't keep her friends and family on facebook. 2
cucumber95 Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 You should have deleted her mum. I'm sorry that this happened to you, she obviously didn't know how to handle this the right way - though if it's any consolation, break up sucks regardless whether you have a face to face conversation or a text. Nowdays to me the form doesn't really matter. 17 is a kid, by the way. Delete and block, don't keep her friends and family on facebook. But you see, her family liked me so much, her mother said to me that maybe some day we will meet again, her father told ex-gf that she won't find anybody better than me. Her brother cried when she told him that he will not see me again :/ I don't think breaking up with text is nice if relationship was quite long and very commited. 1
MrPlop Posted November 13, 2016 Posted November 13, 2016 Well mine blocked me from social media after 7 months, makes no sense to me why now, since she was cheating on me right before breaking up and posting pics of them together since day one. Breaking up over a text? clearly to spare herself from your reaction. 1
Frozensushi Posted November 13, 2016 Posted November 13, 2016 But you see, her family liked me so much, her mother said to me that maybe some day we will meet again, her father told ex-gf that she won't find anybody better than me. Her brother cried when she told him that he will not see me again :/ I know it's hard but you have to remove them from your life as well. You will never be able to start moving on without fully letting go. I forgot I had a lot of my Ex's family members as Facebook friends. Just a few weeks ago I was invited to a surprise birthday party for my Ex's aunt. I have nothing but love for my Ex's mom, sister, brothers and extended family. I know they liked me a lot too. But they are just another reminder of a failed relationship. I blocked everyone including my Ex's close friends on all social media. It's not drastic at all. It's about healing and moving on without any setbacks. 3
Emilia Posted November 13, 2016 Posted November 13, 2016 But you see, her family liked me so much, her mother said to me that maybe some day we will meet again, her father told ex-gf that she won't find anybody better than me. Her brother cried when she told him that he will not see me again :/ I don't think breaking up with text is nice if relationship was quite long and very commited. No of course it's not nice but you have to put a more pragmatic hat on. Break ups happen, this isn't the last time you got hurt (regardless who initiates the break up) and you lose family members/friends. People die, move away or break up. It's about dealing with loss and making sure you are adaptable when it happens. Not 'if' but 'when'. 2
Author lenabean Posted November 15, 2016 Author Posted November 15, 2016 (edited) Thanks to everyone for the replies I really appreciate it! I was doing just fine-took the day to feel crappy about it then was fine. Then all of a sudden his friend just added/requested me on Snapchat. All this time he's had my number to add me (you either need the person's # or have them tell you their SN to add) and now he wants to add me after my ex deleted me? I'm trying not to look too much into but I do find the timing a little odd... Anywho, given the advice I will not be adding the friend to my snapchat haha. Edited November 15, 2016 by lenabean
confusedgirlfriend11 Posted November 15, 2016 Posted November 15, 2016 I'm waiting for the same thing to happen to me. My ex (god that hurts to type!) told me that eventually he will black me from Facebook and delete any messages with me. He wasn't being nasty but he explained that it would hurt too much to keep seeing me and eventually if I post something with another man it would hurt too much. Social Media is a blessing and a curse. It's probably the best thing for the long run him blocking you. You have to stop stalking him (and it is stalking!) as you'll never be able to move forward with your life. Forget why he didn't delete your friend. There's probably no reason in it at all.
Emmafive Posted November 15, 2016 Posted November 15, 2016 Thanks to everyone for the replies I really appreciate it! I was doing just fine-took the day to feel crappy about it then was fine. Then all of a sudden his friend just added/requested me on Snapchat. All this time he's had my number to add me (you either need the person's # or have them tell you their SN to add) and now he wants to add me after my ex deleted me? I'm trying not to look too much into but I do find the timing a little odd... Anywho, given the advice I will not be adding the friend to my snapchat haha. My guess is he is expanding his Snapchat friends and it's just an extremely freaky coincidence OR your ex is regretting deleting you so now he's getting his friend to keep tabs on you. Time will tell soon enough.
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