mushroomlol Posted November 10, 2016 Posted November 10, 2016 Just curious about how you break up with your BF/GF? Do you prefer an official talk to end the relationship? One of my friends say it sounds ridiculous to officially break up cuz if it doesnt work it just doesnt work. Also do you become FWB with your EX? how big is a chance for that?
Stillits Posted November 11, 2016 Posted November 11, 2016 If you are actually in a committed relationship, of course you take the time to have a talk about how things are not working and you want to split up! If you both want, you could do a FWB arrangement with your ex, but it might very well turn up messy. I'd never do that personally.
ExpatInItaly Posted November 11, 2016 Posted November 11, 2016 Fading away is immature and cowardly. If you're adult enough to be in an exclusive relationship, you should be adult enough to end it with a conversation. Becoming FWB with an ex is a terrible idea. It nearly always ends in disaster. 2
Redhead14 Posted November 11, 2016 Posted November 11, 2016 (edited) Just curious about how you break up with your BF/GF? Do you prefer an official talk to end the relationship? One of my friends say it sounds ridiculous to officially break up cuz if it doesnt work it just doesnt work. Also do you become FWB with your EX? how big is a chance for that? Personally, when I was/if I were dating, if it had only been a few dates, there's nothing to break up from. If they call me for another date and I'm not feeling it, I'll let them know I'm moving on. If they stop calling me, I move on. But, if it had been say a month of consistent dating and communication and/or exclusivity and I was unhappy, I would meet with them in person and end it. Ghosting after seeing each other regularly for a month or more, isn't a nice thing to do. Edited November 11, 2016 by Redhead14
OatsAndHall Posted November 11, 2016 Posted November 11, 2016 I think that it's always a good idea to be upfront and honest when calling it off with someone. It doesn't need to be a long, drawn out conversation (although it can turn into that..) but it's best to explain why you want to end it and do so in an amicable fashion. It's much more useful, for me at least, to know why a woman wants to break up. It allows me to better understand if there's something I need to change in my approach to dating as, to be blunt, the dating landscape has changed dramatically since I was last out dating, many years ago. I would not have a FWB relationship with someone, even if I knew I would enjoy it. Two people can state that their intentions are purely physical initially but it's a dynamic situation and either party could decide that they still have feelings for the person while the other doesn't. This ends up being a complete mess. I shoot for a clean break.
Eternal Sunshine Posted November 11, 2016 Posted November 11, 2016 If it was say 5 dates or less, I don't think there is much to break up from. As for FWB, I have had kind of a successful one with a guy I dated for close to 8 months in 2015. I never had feelings for him though and kind of pushed myself into dating him out of wanting some company and being too tired to look. He was a gorgeous guy but we had no other connection on any level. So we were both single after and would hook up every now and then until he moved to another state. I prefer hooking up with someone I know rather than exposing myself to risk from meeting and sleeping with many strangers. I don't think I would be capable of FWB if I had any feelings for the guy whatsoever.
Author mushroomlol Posted November 11, 2016 Author Posted November 11, 2016 So I am dating this guy for over 2 months now. We said we are BF/GF but lately things changed. At first I was really upset and tried to make our relationship better. But over random talks he said something that really hurt my feeling and made me not want to continue this relationship anymore. I suspect he is already seeing others as well. I feel like even if we don't officially talk about breaking up, we will talk less see each other less and eventually not contacting anymore. But I would hate if he brings that up first and not me. Thoughts?
spiderowl Posted November 11, 2016 Posted November 11, 2016 If it's not working - and both of you know it - then I think a relationship will naturally drift apart and neither will complain. If it is working for one but not the other, then the other is going to have to say something at some point. It's not a nice situation knowing you are going to hurt someone's feelings, but there may be better ways of putting it rather than saying you are breaking up with them. Perhaps saying you are not feeling attached and that you can't see yourself becoming more attached in future would be kinder than formally breaking up with them. Of course, if they still wish to stay with you and are refusing to understand what you say, you might have to be more definite. I don't think there is anything wrong with letting things drift apart if the other person seems inclined to do the same. I don't think a formal break-up is always necessary. 1
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