Author scooby-philly Posted November 11, 2016 Author Posted November 11, 2016 So again, thanks to everyone for the comments and suggestions. As I said, I'm not going to keep it to 3 lines. But, I made sure I don't have a ton of filler language and also tried to weave things into little stories or connect stuff together. And....I've re-written it to be more positive. Had to laugh at a few things: 1. Yes, I know how to message 2. I'm not obsessed with comic-con 3. I'm not into personality tests or astrological signs, just threw than in there in case the woman reading my profile was. They do say certain things about me. 4. I have an obsession with lists. 5. Thanks again!
Author scooby-philly Posted November 11, 2016 Author Posted November 11, 2016 Not everyone wants to plaster it on their online dating profile... Well - that's my point. I'm not offended by woman's profiles who don't have a ton to say - but i'm more attracted to profiles that do - and in terms of my own - I'm me - I'm going to say what I feel and not keep it to 3 sentences because that's what someone else wants. 2
Sweetfish Posted November 11, 2016 Posted November 11, 2016 So again, thanks to everyone for the comments and suggestions. As I said, I'm not going to keep it to 3 lines. But, I made sure I don't have a ton of filler language and also tried to weave things into little stories or connect stuff together. And....I've re-written it to be more positive. Had to laugh at a few things: 1. Yes, I know how to message 2. I'm not obsessed with comic-con 3. I'm not into personality tests or astrological signs, just threw than in there in case the woman reading my profile was. They do say certain things about me. 4. I have an obsession with lists. 5. Thanks again! "Im not into reality tv, celeb gossip, or cosplay" " I will not dress up and go to comic-con with you" "I will, however, dress up if you want to go to a children's hospital" What ever you want to call it.. It seems pretty significant? Also, you have the word "I" tooo many times. You seems to not point out your qualities, but more like offer your services. "I will cook and clean and repair things around the house." "I will always laugh at something funny and cry at something sad." "I can proofread your writing while making you breakfast on a Sunday morning." Your starter sentence shows weakness: "So truthfully here's some stuff you should know ahead of time." Who cares... the key is go on dates and let them find out. "But I love exploring new places, learning and have no problem meeting people." forget about the but. "I LOVE EXPLORING NEW PLACES" "Have no problem meeting people" that's introvert talk for...I like meeting new people..but don't expect me to be the social center point or the go out every night. and do your photos reflect these places you explorer? " I was born with a cleft lip and palette. I will not eat Orange Sherbet because of that. You can ask me why on a date." this sentence is probably the killer...is the cleft and palette corrected? Then it seems like you demand a date at the end of the sentence. "I also tend to be a saver and not a spender. As they say - Winter is Coming. I'm also a verbal processor. I'm great in brainstorming but just realize I'm thinking out loud and not agreeing to something. " this paragraph is irrelevant and i can't see why it would be effective in an online dating site. your a debater.. so your going to debate me;) I think the profile needs to be overhauled big time. Im an introvert and had these same profiles and they get you no where.. This is all constructive criticism. Don't take it as an attack.
sdel79 Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 Just too much information. Leave something to talk about on a first date. Also, I don't think women reach out on dating sites. They leave it up to the man to make first contact.
Sunkissedpatio Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 Who cares... the key is go on dates and let them find out. This is the mistake so many men make. A LOT of women do care to get the more information the better BEFORE the fist meeting/date because unlike meeting someone in person for the first time where you've had a chance to have a discussion and find out something about the other person to want to exchange numbers, online you do not have that possibility to do that before the date unless you include relevant info on your profile. There needs to be a "hook" of sorts to get a woman to take the effort to get all dolled up and meet a random guy she knows nothing about and has never seen or interacted with. Some women just want to be treated to dates, so those women might not care, they aren't sticking around anyway after the free drinks or free meal. The more attractive women with more options will definitely care, because they don't want to pick the wrong guys and waste their time going on a date with the wrong guy when they could be using that time to be out with a guy with potential. People who don't have a lot of options might not care because they take what they can get. 1
Sweetfish Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 (edited) This is the mistake so many men make. A LOT of women do care to get the more information the better BEFORE the fist meeting/date because unlike meeting someone in person for the first time where you've had a chance to have a discussion and find out something about the other person to want to exchange numbers, online you do not have that possibility to do that before the date unless you include relevant info on your profile. There needs to be a "hook" of sorts to get a woman to take the effort to get all dolled up and meet a random guy she knows nothing about and has never seen or interacted with. Some women just want to be treated to dates, so those women might not care, they aren't sticking around anyway after the free drinks or free meal. No this is the mistake many women make.... Online dating is a crutch... a handicap.. an advantage. Many men "and women" will type what ever they can and say what ever they can to "hook" that date. I've dated women who said they don't like X type of music and next week listening to X type of music. I don't eat D type food and later eating D type food. Like something one minute and next don't. So what ever is written in the about me block... I take with a grain of salt. When we go to job interviews we get dressed up not knowing if we get hired or not. Its the risk you take. The more attractive women with more options will definitely care, because they don't want to pick the wrong guys and waste their time going on a date with the wrong guy when they could be using that time to be out with a guy with potential. People who don't have a lot of options might not care because they take what they can get.:laugh::laugh: So funny.. You know why a lot of guys just say Hey or HI. instead of introducing them selves. Because a lot of times the women dont even respond. So it get annoying to put in that effort. I have a friend... He cuts and paste the same msg to women on tinder... gets the date. hooks ups with them.. rinse-wash-repeats takes them to the same place and says the same thing.. a year ago he would get no dates... that's how deceptive online dating is. If the women are sooo attractive and has the pick of the litter.. she wouldn't have to use online dating and to be honest the more attractive your are the more you are willing to over look potential. The average looking guy who has his eggs in a basket and charming will easily get looked over by a guy who is fit and has party pics and looks smooth by the more attractive female and guess what. those females seem to never find the right man. Edited November 12, 2016 by Sweetfish
LookAtThisPOst Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 He's been on there 2 months and cannot get a nibble. He needs to make a change Interesting. Some people here find the profile "just right" but others feel it needs changing. Funny how men have issues have getting non-responses for months and getting opinions, and yes, they are just that...opinions on how it's not the overly fickle women, but the "common denominator is him" that's the reason the's not getting replies. You can Google, "How come men don't get replies in online dating" and you'll see TONS of complaints from men that it's just "a numbers game" and that you're one of hundreds of men just sitting in a woman's inbox. Some online dating advice suggest following up with these women since you can easily get overlooked. This post pretty much debunks that. I find his profile pretty danged good! Well written, he puts words together eloquently and provides details...kind of surprised the one who "bolded" all his stuff to remove it as I think they should stay, as they add character to it. 1
LookAtThisPOst Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 If the women are sooo attractive and has the pick of the litter.. she wouldn't have to use online dating and to be honest the more attractive your are the more you are willing to over look potential. The average looking guy who has his eggs in a basket and charming will easily get looked over by a guy who is fit and has party pics and looks smooth by the more attractive female and guess what. Exactly, I actually ran into a woman that I had contacted on POF that lived very close. She was cute, but could lose some weight...she wasn't BIG, but enough for me to contact her as I'd put both of us equal in looks. I started seeing her at Meetup events, and apparently there's this one good looking guy, athletic, runs marathons...and he told me that very woman has been trying to talk him into go going out with her (yes, she would call him and ask him out, lol) But he told me he's not interested for the obvious reasons. He's athletic, she...not at all. I saw her put up another profile on POF saying, "I'm back here, trying this again." And I'm like, "You had your chance with me and you blew it." Oh and she was looking for a "Christian" man...I guarantee she'd date an agnostic though if he was hot enough.
Sunnymae Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 I just re-watched the movie the Big Short and was inspired to try Match again and to try to make an awesome profile. If you get the reference - bonus points! IMO- No I don't get the reference. It made me feel like Im applying for a job. I. e. If you're bilingual that's a plus. In which case I wouldn't bother applying. Do you get what I'm saying? I'm not going to give up and just let you win arguments. This statement Comes off like you like getting in the last word. Unwilling to compromise. I would delete it. I will not dress up and go to comic-con with you. Comes off like you're a narcissist. It's all about me. I would also delete this.
Sunkissedpatio Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 (edited) No this is the mistake many women make.... Online dating is a crutch... a handicap.. an advantage. Many men "and women" will type what ever they can and say what ever they can to "hook" that date. For some, yes, I'll give you that. For others not so much it's a complementary tool that is used to broaden their exposure. I'm telling you my two closest g/f met guys online who had long interesting profiles and they in turn had pretty descriptive profiles themselves. My one girlfriend who just turned 50 but looks like she is 29 was on there for 3 weeks and she met a match so close to her it's kind of creepy how much they have in common. When we go to job interviews we get dressed up not knowing if we get hired or not. Its the risk you take. Very true! We don't show up shirtless though, we make an effort...well in the case of us women it might actually land us the job to show up shirtless So funny.. You know why a lot of guys just say Hey or HI. instead of introducing them selves. Because a lot of times the women dont even respond. So it get annoying to put in that effort. Yes, of course I know why some guys guys are lazy about reading and responding to profiles, for them it's a numbers' game. They are throwing a bunch of mud on the wall to see what sticks. That's going online without a strategy and anyone and anything will do. Women who have a strategy are not interested in that kind of a man. Those kinds of guys are commoditizing their online search, they use a dating site like a catalogue, a Russian mail order bride catalogue if you will. "We don't speak the same language but let's see who looks hot enough to bring over here and marry" YUCK! "I noticed you said you are into biking, what's your fave trail in the city?" takes just as much time to type out as: "hi how's the site treating you?" What are you the romance police? "how's the site treating you?" Would you go up to a woman at a bar and ask her "how's this bar treating you tonight?" NO! You would make some wise crack or funny comment, or something interesting to break the ice. We expect the same online. Here's a visual for you, this is what I envision when I read a "hi" message: A guy that stands out like a sore thumb going around a bar approaching women going "hi can I get your number?" He's desperately going from girl to girl striking out every single time, and even getting looks of annoyance by some women. Others, laughing at him right in his face. Do guys really want to be THAT guy online? I have a friend... He cuts and paste the same msg to women on tinder... gets the date. hooks ups with them.. rinse-wash-repeats takes them to the same place and says the same thing.. a year ago he would get no dates... that's how deceptive online dating is. Can't speak for Tinder that is IS a hook-up site, so brevity must be the norm there. Never been on there, no desire, can't comment. On regular OLD sites though where people are looking for dating and potential of relationship then that's not the case. And I know ALL too well about the cut and paste guys do, some guys are SO stupid they send me the same cut and weeks later because I've updated my main pic and so it confuses them so much they send me the same message twice. "Your smile caught my attention, you have the most beautiful eyes and I enjoyed reading your profile...." How stupid do you have to be? Stupidity in men is a MAJOR turn-off for most women. If the women are sooo attractive and has the pick of the litter.. she wouldn't have to use online dating and to be honest the more attractive your are the more you are willing to over look potential. The average looking guy who has his eggs in a basket and charming will easily get looked over by a guy who is fit and has party pics and looks smooth by the more attractive female and guess what those females seem to never find the right man. Sure there are superficial people everywhere, again picture the bar analogy. Women at the bar are not locking eyes with subdued guy standing quietly in the corner people watching, they are trying to get the attention of loud, boisterous, frat-boy type, dressed to the nines, making his bros laugh and buying shooters for everyone. It's human nature. People gravitate towards popular, attractive people. But there are also those women who aren't into that, and would more than welcome an ice breaker from subdued guy if he has something interesting to say. The attractive women part, not true, unless you are 21 and still in uni and have the pick of the crop. Once you start your career and get busy with building your life and career you don't have the same exposure to single people other than at work and who wants to start romances at work? Ya there are plenty of attractions that develop but for some people it is off limits. Edited November 12, 2016 by Sunkissedpatio 2
dumbass2 Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 I'm curious as to what site you are on? This profile can make all the difference because to me, it's not a fit for a lot of the sites, especially free ones. I think it's a good fit for maybe a site like Elite singles or maybe at the very least a pay site like EHarmony or Match. You're appear to be well educated and make a very good salary and I would guess that while a lot of women on any site would love to find a man making that kind of money (and vice versa), certain sites might only bring out a gold digger and someone that is truly not on the same level as you. I think you are looking for someone on your level if I'm not mistaken. If you're okay with someone that is not and maybe doesn't have the same education, salary and background, then I think this profile will intimidate a lot of them. This certainly doesn't project you as the carefree type that can just go with the flow and chil, which again is fine, but it will limit your field of interested women IMO.
Shanex Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 I'm sure that your qualities are genuine, OP, and your profile sounds very motivating, compared to what most women read weekly on these sites. The only thing that bugs me a bit is you have ''filled'' your profile and introduction too much. Leaves some mystery about yourself. (didn't read the thread except for your post) 2
smackie9 Posted November 12, 2016 Posted November 12, 2016 Be more fun instead of clinical in your writing like"I'm not afraid to put an an apron and get busy in the kitchen" or "I love to cook and know my way around a stove, and can pick out the best wines...." Be more inviting.......women think with their emotions...you have to set the mood, and let them imagine sipping a nice glass of Chardonnay, while you whip up a gourmet meal, entertaining them. Need some flair, pizzazz.
Sweetfish Posted November 13, 2016 Posted November 13, 2016 For some, yes, I'll give you that. For others not so much it's a complementary tool that is used to broaden their exposure. I'm telling you my two closest g/f met guys online who had long interesting profiles and they in turn had pretty descriptive profiles themselves. My one girlfriend who just turned 50 but looks like she is 29 was on there for 3 weeks and she met a match so close to her it's kind of creepy how much they have in common. Again..OLD is a handicap(complementary tool) that disconnect and saves the hard work of going out and seeing people in real-time. This disconnect combined with social media and today's TV has required people to be more demanding of physical traits and financial requirements when finding a date. Dating at 50 and dating in the 20-30's are two different worlds by comparison. and having the same interest doesn't mean two people are made for each other either and those interest change. people change. Very true! We don't show up shirtless though, we make an effort...well in the case of us women it might actually land us the job to show up shirtless :laugh: Yes, of course I know why some guys guys are lazy about reading and responding to profiles, for them it's a numbers' game. They are throwing a bunch of mud on the wall to see what sticks. That's going online without a strategy and anyone and anything will do. Women who have a strategy are not interested in that kind of a man. I find men and women to be both lazy. Men are tired of reading each profile and making an effort to connect and get no responses or women who have absolutely have no profile what so ever and complain about response quality. Women are tired of men responding with. "hey" "Hi" and "whats up" but if the guy looks like Brad Pitt the game changes. I've talked to men on dating site.. with profiles that are AMAZING and the guy is a great guy. Gets no responses... lol Because OLD is a handicap. it has to be a numbers game.. you send your resume out to as many jobs as possible... hoping to get a bite. Those kinds of guys are commoditizing their online search, they use a dating site like a catalogue, a Russian mail order bride catalogue if you will. "We don't speak the same language but let's see who looks hot enough to bring over here and marry" YUCK! "I noticed you said you are into biking, what's your fave trail in the city?" takes just as much time to type out as: "hi how's the site treating you?" What are you the romance police? "how's the site treating you?" Would you go up to a woman at a bar and ask her "how's this bar treating you tonight?" NO! You would make some wise crack or funny comment, or something interesting to break the ice. We expect the same online. Here's a visual for you, this is what I envision when I read a "hi" message: A guy that stands out like a sore thumb going around a bar approaching women going "hi can I get your number?" He's desperately going from girl to girl striking out every single time, and even getting looks of annoyance by some women. Others, laughing at him right in his face. Do guys really want to be THAT guy online? You may be repulsed by these guys.. but some of these guys really lack social skills, tired of being rejected by putting in effort, or playing the numbers game and expect you to just see the profile they have and see if your interested. these guys lack dating in real time.. The attractive women part, not true, unless you are 21 and still in uni and have the pick of the crop. Once you start your career and get busy with building your life and career you don't have the same exposure to single people other than at work and who wants to start romances at work? Ya there are plenty of attractions that develop but for some people it is off limits. Negative.. this can go on for years. The amount of women online that have a child and are single is off the charts... this is due to the fact that they have friend-zone potential mates for the greater good of superficially being attached to men who seem exciting and great. Well exciting wears out and drinking and clubbing wears out..and at the age of 30+ and up they are seeking potential mates after that power of attractiveness starts to devalue and has caused them only drama .. I'm sorry but that's F'ed up. -This goes for men as well. "We surveyed our database of single mothers on PlentyOfFish – a whopping 44% of our female users – for more information on their approach to love, how they use online dating, and what they’re looking for in their perfect match." " as recently as 1990, only 10% of the births to white women with some postsecondary education but no college degree were outside of marriage. Today it’s tripled to 30%. It’s even worse for women with a high school degree or less: the figure is 60% for them." "According to U.S. Census Bureau, out of about 12 million single parent families in 2015, more than 80% were headed by single mothers." "Single-parent families are among the poorest in the nation and as such, are extremely vulnerable to homelessness. Among all homeless families nationwide, over three quarters were headed by single women with children; two fifths were African Americans" "sociologists, such as Bill Wilson at Harvard University, explained why: The real problem is not that women simply won’t stay with lower-earning men, though that sometimes happens. To a greater degree, the problem is that the men who lose out in a more unequal society—by losing their jobs, taking lower paying ones, possibly even becoming depressed—behave badly. Laid-off men help out less at home than those working full time, and they are more likely to drink or abuse their intimate partners, giving women even more reason to raise their children on their own." so lets make an assumption... Are these women dating all a-holes? Did most of them didn't feel the spark anymore? Maybe the men left for another women? 1
Miss Peach Posted November 14, 2016 Posted November 14, 2016 This is the mistake so many men make. A LOT of women do care to get the more information the better BEFORE the fist meeting/date because unlike meeting someone in person for the first time where you've had a chance to have a discussion and find out something about the other person to want to exchange numbers, online you do not have that possibility to do that before the date unless you include relevant info on your profile. There needs to be a "hook" of sorts to get a woman to take the effort to get all dolled up and meet a random guy she knows nothing about and has never seen or interacted with. Some women just want to be treated to dates, so those women might not care, they aren't sticking around anyway after the free drinks or free meal. The more attractive women with more options will definitely care, because they don't want to pick the wrong guys and waste their time going on a date with the wrong guy when they could be using that time to be out with a guy with potential. People who don't have a lot of options might not care because they take what they can get. Totally what I was trying to say. A lot of men don't get this point and then get upset because you won't drop your entire life to go meet a stranger for coffee. The reality is, even a hour at a coffee shop means probably 1/2 hour drive each way (hour total) plus the hour or two at the coffee shop and the inability to say yes to anything else that evening. This is before taking into account prep time things like dressing, hair, and makeup. I'm lucky in that even if I'm not interested in a guy, I can enjoy his company and the conversation. But the reality is that my free time is precious and I really only want to see men that I feel have a decent shot of hitting it off with. Generic and short profiles don't give me anything to get excited over. It just comes off like 10-15+ of the other guys who all want a date with me that week and I only have time to make room for 1-2 of them without completely dropping my own life. If I were a women.. your profile does too many things... Turns me off. Tells me you don't take risk. Shows me a weird obsession to comic con. Reveals too much. It's not fun to read I would caution to figure out what type of woman you would like to attract rather than a generic profile to apply to everyone. Saying things like I threw out my astrological sign in case she was into it doesn't help say what you're into IMO. Now I am currently dating a guy that goes to comic con. In fact most of my social circle is obsessed with it. So I would look at references to that as a positive. But I tend to do best with the nerdy types so that would be a plus to me. It would be a negative or a deal breaker to some women.
VeveCakes Posted November 14, 2016 Posted November 14, 2016 The attractive women part, not true, unless you are 21 and still in uni and have the pick of the crop. Once you start your career and get busy with building your life and career you don't have the same exposure to single people other than at work and who wants to start romances at work? Ya there are plenty of attractions that develop but for some people it is off limits. Thank you.... I never meet guys anywhere! Not at work, and the rest of the time I am running my farm or hanging out with friends who are all married. I have to resort to online dating
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