Why Do Girl Love To Friendzone Guys?

[ZA Dater]

Some of my male friends have told me that the benefit of being friends with women, is that they can introduce you to their other single friends.

 

True or not true?

 

Probably true but I honestly wouldn't know or befriend someone because I liked their friend.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Oh I sense a debate in the making here, and I love the smell of napalm in the morning!

 

Let me see... daily sex with birth control vs. wining and dining, being an emotional tampon and wishing you could get sex just once in awhile. No parity there.

 

Do you really not get the origin or the gist of it? It would take a lot of typing to explain it from scratch. Perhaps just pick up a copy of Dawkins' The Selfish Gene. I'm sure you could get on at The Strand, corner of E. 12th and Broadway in East Village.

 

It's a shaming tactic, Salparadise, don't fall for it. lol

[GunslingerRoland]

I don't think there is anything wrong with attempting to befriend someone you had a failed dating experience with, but I think if they are insistent about it, it cries a bit of insecurity. Especially the Facebook friendship you become part of a collection of all the poor men that wish they could have her but can't.

[thecrucible]

I'm not sure whether this has been mentioned, but sometimes women friendzone guys because there is something that doesn't feel right about them, we don't trust them or we don't feel romance from them. And I mean real genuine romance and not what they are doing to please themselves. I mean I friendzoned a guy once who was buying me things to show his interest because I felt awkward about it and I would have preferred him doing things like talking to me and getting to know me and taking me somewhere fun. I didn't have a bad opinion of him. He was a nice guy overall but I didn't feel like he was interested in me especially. I felt like I could have been any woman. I think some guys have a routine they do with every woman they date and you can tell.

[Buddhist]

This phenomena of 'not getting sex from a woman I want it from' otherwise known as friend zoning.... is something very basic it's called choice. Judging by many posts on this thread (from people whom I am quite honestly disappointed in), it appears that there is a contingent of men out there who want nothing more than sex from a woman. So this friend zoning thing is called filtering the undesirables or these types of men. It's a bit Darwinian but you'll know that is a guy is offended by the idea of being your friend then he's just laid all his cards on the table. He wanted into your knickers and nothing else from you.

 

Believe it or not having some dude lusting after your genitals isn't the highest compliment the world has to offer those of us unfortunate enough to be born with double X chromosomes. After all some men would quite honestly stick their penis into anything at all. Not the most discriminating of folk. To be bestowed with the honour of being another walking hole to them isn't like winning the Oscars. I'm not looking for a provider or protector, I'd just like to find a fellow human with his brain located inside his skull, where it should be.

 

But there seems to be a plethora of men on here insistent that they actually think with their testicles. Okay, I wouldn't be advertising that personally.

[phineas]

Some of my male friends have told me that the benefit of being friends with women, is that they can introduce you to their other single friends.

 

True or not true?

 

Some do.

Some want your attention all to themselves.

 

The woman friends who don't help me out usually don't like it when i'm talking to other women.

 

I just keep doing what i'm doing and if they get uppity i offer them the option of taking their place for the horizontal mambo.

 

If they decline i usually end up ceasing to be friends with them because a woman friend who doesn't want me but doesn't want anyone else to want me is no friend at all.

[phineas]

This phenomena of 'not getting sex from a woman I want it from' otherwise known as friend zoning.... is something very basic it's called choice. Judging by many posts on this thread (from people whom I am quite honestly disappointed in), it appears that there is a contingent of men out there who want nothing more than sex from a woman. So this friend zoning thing is called filtering the undesirables or these types of men. It's a bit Darwinian but you'll know that is a guy is offended by the idea of being your friend then he's just laid all his cards on the table. He wanted into your knickers and nothing else from you.

 

Believe it or not having some dude lusting after your genitals isn't the highest compliment the world has to offer those of us unfortunate enough to be born with double X chromosomes. After all some men would quite honestly stick their penis into anything at all. Not the most discriminating of folk. To be bestowed with the honour of being another walking hole to them isn't like winning the Oscars. I'm not looking for a provider or protector, I'd just like to find a fellow human with his brain located inside his skull, where it should be.

 

But there seems to be a plethora of men on here insistent that they actually think with their testicles. Okay, I wouldn't be advertising that personally.

 

Except,most women don't say "let's just be friends" they just drop the dude.

The type of women who have multiple guys they have friendzoned almost always end up dating a guy who does in fact end up just using her for sex.

 

Seen it dozens of times with women who have universes of orbiters.

Some are Actually decent guys who are genuinely interested in them for a relationship.

But, for whatever reason they go for the guys who treat them badly.

 

The problem is some of these guys do stick around hoping.

They watch these women they can only be friends with get jerked around and treated badly.

They hear about it all the time from them ect.

 

That's not me.

They either want to date or they don't.

If i'm friends with a woman, it's on MY terms.

At least that way nobody gets used.

[Shining One]

It's a bit Darwinian but you'll know that is a guy is offended by the idea of being your friend then he's just laid all his cards on the table.

Personally, I'm not offended when a women declines romance and offers friendship. I very rarely accept her friendship, but it's not because I'm offended. I simply refuse to settle for less than what I want. Sometimes, I date women and put them in the FWB-zone. Most decline to stay there. They also refuse to settle for less than what they want.

He wanted into your knickers and nothing else from you.

Sometimes a man wants to be your friend and get into your knickers. You can't blame him for not settling for only one of the two.

[guitardude31]

The answer is simple, because they have more choice, options etc than men do. They can afford to turn down 99 men to find the right one, and friend zone each and everyone, because there will always be another guy, or they have their female friends. As females often tend to have stronger social ties. We evolved from a tournament mating system, where males are forced to compete for females, it's brutal and unforgiving. And often still doesn't end up well for the guys (females initiate 70-90% of all divorces, and I suspect similar numbers for non marital relationships, with "no fault" being most often cited, IE: not because the guy was the issue).

 

Men take rejection harder, because it is exponentially more difficult for them to find mates (and keep them), sexual partners, or frankly, just even single women, let alone single attractive women. In fact, most guys have a hard time socializing at all anymore, even more so given how we work more hours than ever, and interact through our devices more. I truly have no idea how some dudes do it, it's like winning the woman lottery.

 

You also now have a phenomena where people are now putting ambition, money, careerism, etc in place of human relationships, experiences, and things. They eventually find out how fraught this path is, but it looks doable when you are at the height of your sexual power, you don't know any different. There are *always* offers from men . They literally live in a different reality than the average male. So more freindzoned males you have. As others have stated, they like having the validation and ego boost without any reciprocity. You see this in online dating, where women often post profiles just for that without having any sincere interest outside of maybe some alpha male.

 

Women have the luxury of being gatekeepers and being pursued, we also know they have deeply unrealistic expectations and standards when it comes to men. This has actually been studied.

 

https://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating/

 

"Women rate an incredible 80% of guys as worse-looking than medium. Very harsh. On the other hand, when it comes to actual messaging, women shift their expectations only just slightly ahead of the curve"

 

The men rate the women on a completely healthy, rather generous and fair bell curve. Remember this is sampling millions of people.

 

"Females of OkCupid, we site founders say to you: ouch! Paradoxically, it seems it’s women, not men, who have unrealistic standards for the “average” member of the opposite sex."

 

The vast majority of sent messages are from men to women, by far. It is still expected that men take all the risk, and do all the work in pursuing, despite women having all the power, choice, and privilege.

 

This lesbian feminist actually went an lived as a man for 18 months, and all of her biases were completely upended. When it came to love, sex, courtship, dating, etc, she discovered it was women who had all the power, she even wrote a book about it. This was coming from someone who was completely predisposed to think the opposite. Her ultimate conclusion was that women had not half, some, but all the power. She felt it was a greater privilege to be female at the end of the day and was deeply sympathetic to the male experience. She said dating as a guy was GRUELING.

 

 

This is completely and utterly lost on most women, at least those who don't study the issue. Friendzoning is that natural selection, you are an un****able. She may even like you as a person, though rarely is this the case, it's usually seen as a nice way to reject a guy because they fear how he will take it (well now you know why guys fear this).

Edited November 15, 2016 by guitardude31

[LookAtThisPOst]

Some do.

Some want your attention all to themselves.

 

The woman friends who don't help me out usually don't like it when i'm talking to other women.

 

I just keep doing what i'm doing and if they get uppity i offer them the option of taking their place for the horizontal mambo.

 

If they decline i usually end up ceasing to be friends with them because a woman friend who doesn't want me but doesn't want anyone else to want me is no friend at all.

 

Yeah, I hear a lot of women don't try to introduce you to their female single friends because they don't like the competition. Sometimes they'll be involved with a boyfriend, and STILL not want to help a single guy out for that reason.

 

There is one woman that tried to introduce me to her single friends, but they look Jabba-the-Hutt sized if you get what I mean.

[Alamo657]

I recently met a nice girl Sally(not real name), get to know her a bit but ultimately it ended with one way interest.

 

I have a policy toward all girls i met. If it's over i cut ties. No social media,etc watsoever. In or Before relationship. If something happens,i will send message/call/meet up for final resolve. An ultimatum. If she want me, we continue, if not, goodbye. Yeah, i will literally said it on that chat/call/meet up.Because i like to move on with my own terms. Not hers.

 

So back to the Sally, she sees me as a friend and i don't want to. I said goodbye to her as i dont want to have anything more with her as i approach her as potential romance partner. She seems insisted want us to remains friend. I later insisted, sorry, but im nt your friend.

 

It reminded me,actually most girl i did this, actually do the same. Why girls want a guy to be in friendzone? I don't want to be your friend.

It's your fault for not being straightforward right away; you entered the friend zone because you were not to her liking, or too slow to game her.

[dispatch3d]

Yeah the ratio of girls that I was friends with that cock blocked me versus the ones that helped me out is way out of whack. Way more cock block me. Girls have these friendships with guys that I think are just inappropriate and an abuse of their power over guys. That's the issue as far as I'm concerned.