Why Do Girl Love To Friendzone Guys?

November 9, 2016

I recently met a nice girl Sally(not real name), get to know her a bit but ultimately it ended with one way interest.

I have a policy toward all girls i met. If it's over i cut ties. No social media,etc watsoever. In or Before relationship. If something happens,i will send message/call/meet up for final resolve. An ultimatum. If she want me, we continue, if not, goodbye. Yeah, i will literally said it on that chat/call/meet up.Because i like to move on with my own terms. Not hers.

So back to the Sally, she sees me as a friend and i don't want to. I said goodbye to her as i dont want to have anything more with her as i approach her as potential romance partner. She seems insisted want us to remains friend. I later insisted, sorry, but im nt your friend.

It reminded me,actually most girl i did this, actually do the same. Why girls want a guy to be in friendzone? I don't want to be your friend.

November 9, 2016

Why girls want a guy to be in friendzone?

Those who do enjoy the attention and intimacy they receive, without commitment or exclusivity or sexual activity, the same way a man can enjoy uncommitted casual sex relations without any emotional content. If you've ever experimented with the latter, you can likely gain some understanding of the dynamic. Sure, the specifics are different but the overall impact on the id is similar. The id likes what it likes.

However, remember women are individuals. If this particular woman values your friendship and is a trusted and valued asset in your life, then consider her relations to be more of a true friend and less of you being in the 'friendzone'. True friends are hard-won and IMO should be greatly valued.

November 9, 2016

Because maybe she thinks you're a cool, interesting person whose company she enjoys even if she doesn't want to have a romantic relationship with you? Are women not allowed to have friends of the opposite sex?

November 9, 2016

Because women don't have a problem being friends with people who reject them romantically the way men do. Okay so you don't want to be friends with her, good for you, but it comes off looking like sour grapes really. Women don't typically approach people with the idea of sex or nothing. They often approach people with the idea of....okay who are you to me? If I'm not romantically inclined towards you I can still like who you are and want to be around you for other reasons.

The fact that many insecure men would rather die than have female friends is not really a reflection on the women. Asking why women friend zone is like asking, why do women want friends? We want friends for the same reason you do, to enjoy the company of other people. The fact that some men see women as either a sex toy or invisible isn't our problem really. And when you think about it, it's not a very nice attitude to display. But whatever.

November 9, 2016

Because maybe she thinks you're a cool, interesting person whose company she enjoys even if she doesn't want to have a romantic relationship with you? Are women not allowed to have friends of the opposite sex?

I believe you shouldn't been a friend towards a person who you don't return the interest.

If a guy likes you, you don't, therefore you shouldn't be his friend. It's cruel for him. This goes for both gender.

Same goes if relationship over. Its over.

November 9, 2016

I believe you shouldn't been a friend towards a person who you don't return the interest.

If a guy likes you, you don't, therefore you shouldn't be his friend. It's cruel for him. This goes for both gender.
Same goes if relationship over. Its over.

That's your view but not everyone shares it. For what it's worth I don't see a problem with you cutting all ties with someone you are romantically interested in, if they don't reciprocate those feelings. It's your life and you can do as you please, there's nothing wrong or right with how you feel about such, it's just how you choose to approach such a situation.

There's nothing cruel about wanting to be friends with someone you like, but have no romantic interest in. Not everyone on this planet is going to like or want you and nor does anyone owe you to reciprocate your feelings. I wish more people would stop taking things so personal when they are rejected. Every person out there can meet someone who will reciprocate their feelings, at least if you have somewhat decent traits, but you need to understand that finding someone like that can be a long journey. Sadly a lot of people just don't want to put in the required effort, they expect everything to be handed to them on a plate, while totally failing to grasp that any relationship needs work if it's meant to be great and last.

If you have the same experience with every woman you meet, then there's a chance you are just being unlucky, or perhaps you just go for or meet the wrong type of women. There's always a reason although more often than not many fail to identify the cause, which also could be you and how your personality is. I don't know because I have no idea who you are or what you do, but even if it should be physical appearance as well, then not everyone judges that as critically as others.

November 9, 2016

Because women don't have a problem being friends with people who reject them romantically the way men do. Okay so you don't want to be friends with her, good for you, but it comes off looking like sour grapes really. Women don't typically approach people with the idea of sex or nothing. They often approach people with the idea of....okay who are you to me? If I'm not romantically inclined towards you I can still like who you are and want to be around you for other reasons.

The fact that many insecure men would rather die than have female friends is not really a reflection on the women. Asking why women friend zone is like asking, why do women want friends? We want friends for the same reason you do, to enjoy the company of other people. The fact that some men see women as either a sex toy or invisible isn't our problem really. And when you think about it, it's not a very nice attitude to display. But whatever.

Thank you for the answer. Love it. But question is not questioning who should a woman being friends with. My main point is that if you meet a person who interested in you but you're not returning the interest, why would you want to toture him? Rejection is hard enough to take, now you want him to be around you? Don't be ridiculous.

I too approached by a girl, not interested in her, i make sure i distant myself from her. For her own good. Not that i want it. But more becoz protecting her feeling.

November 9, 2016

I don't see anything wrong with not wanting to be friends with someone that friend zoned you when you want more. I have had my share of women who friend zoned me, but I'm getting to the point where I've reached my cap of female friends, too.

There are some situations where women say they want to be friends, but do so to really not have you in their lives at all or...if an attempt to friends go through, something may later come down the pike where something will happen, like an anticipated boundary crossing that may send her on her way voluntarily. I.e. - She gets a new boyfriend, an inadvertent flirt is sent her way.

If you have the same experience with every woman you meet, then there's a chance you are just being unlucky, or perhaps you just go for or meet the wrong type of women.

Personally, I don't think being friend zoned is associated with any one TYPE of person. I'm not sure where the "sex or nothing" comes in, but there seems to be a hate for men (not them personally) desiring sex and/intimacy with a woman. It's like men are faulted for it for not wanting to be friends. As if one had to do with the other. It's a silly assumption.

"Yeah, Barry, didn't want to be my friend, he just wanted to get in my pants"

No, no...he didn't want to "get in your pants", he wanted to be your boyfriend, of course, that will mean 'getting into your pants" but we're talking intent here.

But anyways, if a man doesn't want to be friends, when he wants something romantic, and you both don't see to eye-to-eye on it, men shouldn't be faulted for not wanting to be a woman's friend.

I had a few women complain about how some men wanted to date them, but they did not, and wound up cutting contact...and then fault the guy for "only in it for the sex"

I mean, really?

November 9, 2016

I believe you shouldn't been a friend towards a person who you don't return the interest.

If a guy likes you, you don't, therefore you shouldn't be his friend. It's cruel for him. This goes for both gender.
Same goes if relationship over. Its over.

So don't stay friends with them then.

You sound as though your expectations are way too high. Its as though you expect every girl you take a shine to to like you back romantically...

IN real life that just doesn't happen so you may as well just quietly feel your way and see who does and who doesn't. Just because someone doesn't want to have sex with you doesn't mean that they are a bad person.

November 9, 2016

Thank you for the answer. Love it. But question is not questioning who should a woman being friends with. My main point is that if you meet a person who interested in you but you're not returning the interest, why would you want to toture him? Rejection is hard enough to take, now you want him to be around you? Don't be ridiculous.

What's ridiculous about it? I am friends with men who have rejected me. I just accept their decision and change modes with them. I don't die from it, or even feel more than momentary disappointment. It really comes down to how easily you can handle disappointment I suppose.

I too approached by a girl, not interested in her, i make sure i distant myself from her. For her own good. Not that i want it. But more becoz protecting her feeling.

If she's an adult she can decide for herself what's for her own good. You'd be surprised how well many people can handle disappointment in life. Not everyone needs protecting from their own emotions.

November 9, 2016

.
If you have the same experience with every woman you meet, then there's a chance you are just being unlucky, or perhaps you just go for or meet the wrong type of women. There's always a reason although more often than not many fail to identify the cause, which also could be you and how your personality is. I don't know because I have no idea who you are or what you do, but even if it should be physical appearance as well, then not everyone judges that as critically as others.

Thank you for the answer. i love it. But what i mean in the end of my question is after the ultimatum i gave. Girl seems want to remains friend after i said goodbye. ive said i dont want to. i don't want to see she taking selfie with other guy pop up in my social media. Not saying ive been rejected by all girl.

November 9, 2016

but there seems to be a hate for men (not them personally) desiring sex and/intimacy with a woman.

Well I can only speak for myself on this account but it gets really tiring having guys approaching you with their [metaphorical or literal] erections. As a late teen I was really turned off by the intensely sexual nature of some men. As if they have no other aspect to their lives. Consequently I got sick of men approaching me with sex on their minds round about my mid 20's. It quickly became an eye rolling moment. Then as time goes on and this is all you hear men talking about you really do begin to wonder if they have anything beyond this on their minds.

There's often a lot of talk on LS about the privilege of women being constantly approached by men and what a dream life it must be. It's really not. To be out and about enjoying [non-sexual] aspects of your life and then have that interrupted by some random guy and his sexual needs gets old really, really fast. It just becomes an unwelcome intrusion into your day, you might be taking a walk in the sun in a lovely park and listening to birds, minding your own business. Then some dude insists on chatting to you and starts blurting out how he finds you attractive blah, blah, blah and moment ruined.

It's no secret men are more sexually orientated, but many women don't want to hear about ad nauseum. Especially not while in a yoga class, or learning something, or just appreciating nature etc. Maybe it's some kind of cosmic joke that many men find the very worst moments to put forward their romantic propositions...idk.

November 9, 2016

I don't see anything wrong with not wanting to be friends with someone that friend zoned you when you want more. I have had my share of women who friend zoned me, but I'm getting to the point where I've reached my cap of female friends, too.

There are some situations where women say they want to be friends, but do so to really not have you in their lives at all or...if an attempt to friends go through, something may later come down the pike where something will happen, like an anticipated boundary crossing that may send her on her way voluntarily. I.e. - She gets a new boyfriend, an inadvertent flirt is sent her way.

Personally, I don't think being friend zoned is associated with any one TYPE of person. I'm not sure where the "sex or nothing" comes in, but there seems to be a hate for men (not them personally) desiring sex and/intimacy with a woman. It's like men are faulted for it for not wanting to be friends. As if one had to do with the other. It's a silly assumption.

"Yeah, Barry, didn't want to be my friend, he just wanted to get in my pants"

No, no...he didn't want to "get in your pants", he wanted to be your boyfriend, of course, that will mean 'getting into your pants" but we're talking intent here.

But anyways, if a man doesn't want to be friends, when he wants something romantic, and you both don't see to eye-to-eye on it, men shouldn't be faulted for not wanting to be a woman's friend.

I had a few women complain about how some men wanted to date them, but they did not, and wound up cutting contact...and then fault the guy for "only in it for the sex"

I mean, really?

Yes. Love your answer. Im actually surprised that im kinda seen as villain here. coz, i stated, i approach her as potential romance partner, which is one sided. therefore im making it easier for both of us.

November 9, 2016

Yes. Love your answer. Im actually surprised that im kinda seen as villain here. coz, i stated, i approach her as potential romance partner, which is one sided. therefore im making it easier for both of us.

Its not rocket science.

If you don't want to get to know her as a friend then don't stay friends. Just walk away. But claiming that they are torturing you because they don't want to date you is a tad extreme don't you think?

What if a girl you quite enjoyed spending time with but didn't want to date asked you out and you said no? Does that mean that she then has to drool and dribble all over you and claim that you are being mean just because you carry on as normal?

Its just... its not a normal attitude to have...

November 9, 2016

Well I can only speak for myself on this account but it gets really tiring having guys approaching you with their [metaphorical or literal] erections. As a late teen I was really turned off by the intensely sexual nature of some men. As if they have no other aspect to their lives. Consequently I got sick of men approaching me with sex on their minds round about my mid 20's. It quickly became an eye rolling moment. Then as time goes on and this is all you hear men talking about you really do begin to wonder if they have anything beyond this on their minds.

There's often a lot of talk on LS about the privilege of women being constantly approached by men and what a dream life it must be. It's really not. To be out and about enjoying [non-sexual] aspects of your life and then have that interrupted by some random guy and his sexual needs gets old really, really fast. It just becomes an unwelcome intrusion into your day, you might be taking a walk in the sun in a lovely park and listening to birds, minding your own business. Then some dude insists on chatting to you and starts blurting out how he finds you attractive blah, blah, blah and moment ruined.

It's no secret men are more sexually orientated, but many women don't want to hear about ad nauseum. Especially not while in a yoga class, or learning something, or just appreciating nature etc. Maybe it's some kind of cosmic joke that many men find the very worst moments to put forward their romantic propositions...idk.

I hate to break it to you, my dad approached my mother on the beach (they were parked next to each other) as he was attracted to her, and yes physically as this is the main reason men approach women...in public.

No offense, but you may want to try to get a hold on being turned off by men doing this, as IF they are doing something wrong by approaching you because you are attracted.

After all, women just LOVE a man with confidence, and "trying to enjoy the peace and quiet" of mother nature and seeing a man approaching you as a nuisance?

It just becomes an unwelcome intrusion into your day, you might be taking a walk in the sun in a lovely park and listening to birds, minding your own business.

I would say, "If YOU found him attractive, you'd welcome him in with open arms." But if that's NOT the cas...no offense (again) that sounds like a personal problem.

Your example is why some men have given up on approaching, as you you don't help matters, why not just enjoy the guy's company.

I recall one time at a coffee shop in a book store where I live, ordered coffee and this woman next to me was ordering coffee, too. We were both standing their waiting...so I decided to talk to her...she was very short with me, brief and I didn't mention how attractive I thought she was, but women know the reason why men, that don't know them, approach them...it's because he thought she was cute.

I couldn't help but think, if this woman at the coffee shop thought the same thing Buddhist was thinking...

Was a an "intrusion" as you so ascertain with these men approaching you?

You see, that's what is screwed up about attempting to find a date, and why some of us men struggle. You see us as lepers for some reason. lol Some of you ladies need to get over that whole "men sees woman, men approaches woman...woman eye rolls before the conversation is even started." lol

November 9, 2016

What's ridiculous about it? I am friends with men who have rejected me. I just accept their decision and change modes with them. I don't die from it, or even feel more than momentary disappointment. It really comes down to how easily you can handle disappointment I suppose.

.

Well, thats mean we just have to agree to disagree. Because i don't believe nobody is ammune to disappointment ofrejection. Sorry, but im a decent person. I care about most people feeling especially friends and definitely anybody who has interest in me. Can't help imaging thier feeling seeing my social media with other girl.

November 9, 2016

Why girls want a guy to be in friendzone?

because it gives them a sense of power and they like the attention

November 9, 2016

No offense, but you may want to try to get a hold on being turned off by men doing this, as IF they are doing something wrong by approaching you because you are attracted.

No offense but I don't need to get a hold of it or get over it. I'm allowed to find it a nuisance and an intrusion into my day because it is. I'm allowed to not be as sexually wired as men nor even desire sex. I wasn't born for the express purpose of being some guys roll in the hay. I am a sentient being with my own desires and life of my own.

After all, women just LOVE a man with confidence, and "trying to enjoy the peace and quiet" of mother nature and seeing a man approaching you as a nuisance?

Other women might LOVE a man with confidence and he's welcome to approach them. I don't have to play along for his convenience.

I would say, "If YOU found him attractive, you'd welcome him in with open arms." But if that's NOT the cas...no offense (again) that sounds like a personal problem.

Why is it my personal problem? I don't understand this mentality at all. I'm supposed to welcome all approaches with open arms because I have breasts? Something wrong with that logic.

Your example is why some men have given up on approaching, as you you don't help matters, why not just enjoy the guy's company.

I don't recall being given a job description at birth that said it's my job to enjoy the company of random men who might hit on me. I'm allowed to determine who enters my personal space and who I welcome. I was not born to encourage men to approach women.

You see, that's what is screwed up about attempting to find a date, and why some of us men struggle. You see us as lepers for some reason. lol Some of you ladies need to get over that whole "men sees woman, men approaches woman...woman eye rolls before the conversation is even started." lol

So now we get down to brass tacks. The world is screwed up because women don't welcome the attention of every man who approaches her. I see. We aren't allowed to be anything other than a potential date for hard-up guys. Mmmkay....Us women need to get over having preferences or a life outside of being a date opportunity. I'm afraid your world view is something I just can't subscribe to.

November 9, 2016

Its not rocket science.

If you don't want to get to know her as a friend then don't stay friends. Just walk away. But claiming that they are torturing you because they don't want to date you is a tad extreme don't you think?

What if a girl you quite enjoyed spending time with but didn't want to date asked you out and you said no? Does that mean that she then has to drool and dribble all over you and claim that you are being mean just because you carry on as normal?

Its just... its not a normal attitude to have...

What i meant by the toture is rejection is painful exp for anybody. since after u rejected a person, you continue your life as normal, chance are, your normal* life may deepen the hurt. Decent person should at least sees this.

I put a simple situation. John likes Sally, but Sally love Paul. Therefore, Sally reject John. But Sally wants to remains friend for watever reason. John agrees, and able to see his unrequited love making out in front of him.

What i suggest n wat i do as John? Wish her the best and never see her ever again. So John can move on. Is it extreme?

November 9, 2016

So now we get down to brass tacks. The world is screwed up because women don't welcome the attention of every man who approaches her. I see. We aren't allowed to be anything other than a potential date for hard-up guys. Mmmkay....Us women need to get over having preferences or a life outside of being a date opportunity. I'm afraid your world view is something I just can't subscribe to.

Oh, so now men are "hard up" because they approach you? You see, that's the problem, you have these preconceived notions of men approaching you.

November 9, 2016

Same reason guys want a girl to be in the friendzone.

November 9, 2016

Most women have only room in their lives for one love interest, but she is also human, so she likes to be sociable, she likes to have interesting people around her that contribute to her life and she likes spending time with.

Some men do not want women as friends and that is OK, but many women and some men are open to having platonic friends of both genders, how can that be a bad thing?

There is surely more to life than just sex.

November 9, 2016

I don't know what going on with these girls, but it sounds like you're a little controlling with giving them the ultimatums. That would scare me off. Now for me, guys that are in the friend zone that I put in, it's either they were always in the friend zone because I was not at all attracted to them and NEVER saw myself having sex with them or there was no attraction at all. Remember, attraction is different than if you find someone physically attractive, it's something I have to feel on an emotional level.

November 9, 2016

What i meant by the toture is rejection is painful exp for anybody. since after u rejected a person, you continue your life as normal, chance are, your normal* life may deepen the hurt. Decent person should at least sees this.

I put a simple situation. John likes Sally, but Sally love Paul. Therefore, Sally reject John. But Sally wants to remains friend for watever reason. John agrees, and able to see his unrequited love making out in front of him.

What i suggest n wat i do as John? Wish her the best and never see her ever again. So John can move on. Is it extreme?

Rejection doesn't need to be painful. It depends on how you think and how you deal with it.

John likes Sally but Sally loves Paul. John asks Sally out but as Sally doesn't feel as though she can give her attentions to John because she loves Paul she turns him down. John accepts the rejection with grace because he doesn't want to date girls unless they are fully invested in him as their boyfriend but is happy to be friends. Sally and John chat occasionally and say hello when they see each other. John goes to a party that Sally has organised and finds another girl he quite likes called Mary. Sally snogs Paul at the party but John doesn't notice because Mary just cracked a fantastic joke then snogged him. All the other guys are jealous of John and Mary because they are so happy...

See the difference. John isn't tortured. He just goes out and gets what is right for him and what he wants instead. He doesn't blame Sally or get nasty. As such he gets invited to meet more people one of who he gets on really well with.

Life isn't all peaches and cream. You will face rejection. Could be girls, a job, new mortgage on your house, that course your really wanted to do, finance for a car...[]

Edited November 9, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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November 9, 2016

I don't know what going on with these girls, but it sounds like you're a little controlling with giving them the ultimatums. That would scare me off. Now for me, guys that are in the friend zone that I put in, it's either they were always in the friend zone because I was not at all attracted to them and NEVER saw myself having sex with them or there was no attraction at all. Remember, attraction is different than if you find someone physically attractive, it's something I have to feel on an emotional level.

I gave her ultimatum due to uncertainty of her relationship. She's single, she's going out with The Guy but still communicate with me. I know how to gauge interest from a girl, and she looks interested in me too. But recently i met her, she doesn't look that interested in me anymore. perhaps due development of her relationship with The Guy.So i just clear things up with saying is she interested in me as i am to her. Therefore i tell her i don't wanna be just friend. She said she can't be more than that. That's about it. Den i tell her, sorry, i couldn't message or meet her anymore as im moving on. And wish the best n goodbye to her

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Why Do Girl Love To Friendzone Guys?

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