Duvessa Posted July 12, 2005 Posted July 12, 2005 O.k heres the story.Me and my ex have been together for 1 1/2 yrs.It was very good for the first 9 mons.I am avery jealous and posessive person.He was the greatest guy i had ever been with(responsible,smart,good income,ect...) So naturally i was terrified to lose him.I got to needed and clingy.Always available.Well the first time we broke up was in dec of 04.I kept telling him he didnt want me ,That he wanted to break up with me,so i finally convinced him to.we got back together,He missed me very much ,not what he wanted. Things were good until march.I pushed and pushed .He broke it off .I get a little obesessive,calling,emailing,crying,begging.Driving him totally insane. So i finally give up. Im still in contact. He writes me a email telling me how hard it is to love me with all the issues.Thats its not easy for him,he still cares for me,he will not be able to call someone baby fopr a long time. 2 days later he wants me again. We get back its all good for a while as usual. You beginning to see a pattern here. So things were not so good lately,stoped calling as much.I was the only one making any attempt. Let me state that there is no other woman envolved here.Trusst me i keep close tabs. anyway,Well he now doesnt want me again.He is so rational,in control of his emotions.I could never get him to react.He says we dont work .He cares for me. what did i want to do keep doing this back and forth thing for yrs.he already did that with his ex for 8yrs. The reasons why he kept coming back is he was weak he says.That we have to stop this.I am in so much pain right now.Every thought is of him. Crying all the time .My eyes are so swollen. Yesterday I drove him absolutley insane calling and crying and begging.I know it pushes him away, why do i continue to do it. He tells me thats why he doesnt want to be with me.I push him so far away with that ****. Then i guess he forgets and misses me .I dont know. So i told him i would not stop calling him.So what does he do. He changes his phone line. I have never felt so hurt in my life.What a dam jack ass i am.Its amazing the crazy things we do for love.I hate myself when i do that.he hates me too. So now i cant call even if i wanted to,which iguess is good. but how will he know when i dont give a dam anymore.its not like he will now when i stop calling,or that im ignoring him,=. Its very frustrating. My friends think this is his m.o. Its what he does. That he will contact me again.Changing your phone number is pretty drastic... They also say maybe hes doing this so he doesnt get weak, or he cant deal with hearing me cry.He is a very strong person emotionally. How can he be so strong. I need some serious help.
SilentLucidity Posted July 24, 2005 Posted July 24, 2005 Ok here is where you need some blunt advice. You are right, you are driving him away. First of all get a grip on yourself. He is not the last man in the world. He isn't a jack ass for changing his line either. You said so yourself that you're smothering the hell out of him. You're not giving this man the room to even miss you, instead you're telling him what he already thinks and feels, that you're too clingy, you're too available and that is unattractive to men. I know you're hurt, he knows you're hurt. You said "How will he know when I don't give a damn anymore", he will know when you move on. He will know this. The other thing here too is to stop this back and forth thing. Don't you know that you're worth more? You sound to me like you have some self esteem issues and some insecurity issues. You need to work on you and let this guy go. Sure grieve, but stop chasing him. It isn't healthy and he has already shown you what chasing him does for him. Start new hobbies, workout, go out with friends, eat well, and get plenty of rest. The other best thing you could try for yourself is a journal. Sometimes when we can't get in touch with our feelings and we have a journal we can see what they are so much more clearly. Goodluck to you.
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