Dubbs86 Posted November 8, 2016 Posted November 8, 2016 (edited) I've been dating my 35 year old girlfriend for about 5 months, I just turned 30. Things moved very fast and passionately and for the first while the thought of jealousy would never come up - there was always 100 percent trust. The issue started because we are both constantly texting and calling other people when we're together. She's always worried about who I'm talking to and vice versa. I woke up this morning at her place and there was a bag with a bathing suit, panties, make up and some clothes beside her washroom door. I confronted her about it and she said she'd brought some stuff in that was sitting in her car. Am I being played a fool? Edited November 8, 2016 by Dubbs86 Spelling error
SoulCat Posted November 8, 2016 Posted November 8, 2016 I can't possibly tell from that whether she's cheating or not. The bag by her washroom door sounds exactly like what's in my gym/spa bag which is in my house or in my car at any given time. When you two are together, quit texting and calling other people, clearly it's affecting your trust in eachother. 2
kendahke Posted November 8, 2016 Posted November 8, 2016 I've been dating my 35 year old girlfriend for about 5 months, I just turned 30. Things moved very fast and passionately and for the first while the thought of jealousy would never come up - there was always 100 percent trust. The issue started because we are both constantly texting and calling other people when we're together. She's always worried about who I'm talking to and vice versa. I woke up this morning at her place and there was a bag with a bathing suit, panties, make up and some clothes beside her washroom door. I confronted her about it and she said she'd brought some stuff in that was sitting in her car. Am I being played a fool? Does she work out after work? Or go to the spa? Did she go on vacation before she met you 5 months ago? If this bag has been in her car for a while, it could very well have been in her car since before she met you. I had a bag of belongings in my car for about 3 years before I took it out of the car. I see nothing that would warrant you jumping to the paranoid conclusion that she's cheating on you, but one thing is for certain: if you are prone to jumping to baseless conclusion out of a sense of insecurity, then this is going to be a short lived relationship. You're about at the point where new relationships end and these baseless accusation will probably do the trick to make her seriously reconsider the wisdom in being in this relationship with you.
Author Dubbs86 Posted November 8, 2016 Author Posted November 8, 2016 Thanks so much Soulcat. I just get the gut feeling that she is. Is there a way to confront without being invasive? We love each other a lot but these trust issues are becoming 2 much to deal with.
Larryville Posted November 8, 2016 Posted November 8, 2016 I woke up this morning at her place and there was a bag with a bathing suit, panties, make up and some clothes beside her washroom door. Sounds like some massive insecurities on your part. You must deal with that FIRST more than whether or not she is cheating. Just bizarre to me.
Gaeta Posted November 8, 2016 Posted November 8, 2016 I woke up this morning at her place and there was a bag with a bathing suit, panties, make up and some clothes beside her washroom door. I confronted her about it and she said she'd brought some stuff in that was sitting in her car. Am I being played a fool? Are you serious !! A bag with clothes was enough to accuse her of cheating? I would have shown you the door and hit you in the arse with it on your way out. Now that being out of the way do you 2 want a healthy relationship or not? If you do than make some compromise and put those phones away when you're together. As simple as that. I mean....35 years old and her nose glued to her phone like a 15 years old? c'mon! 2
TheTraveler Posted November 8, 2016 Posted November 8, 2016 I've been dating my 35 year old girlfriend for about 5 months, I just turned 30. Things moved very fast and passionately and for the first while the thought of jealousy would never come up - there was always 100 percent trust. The issue started because we are both constantly texting and calling other people when we're together. She's always worried about who I'm talking to and vice versa. I woke up this morning at her place and there was a bag with a bathing suit, panties, make up and some clothes beside her washroom door. I confronted her about it and she said she'd brought some stuff in that was sitting in her car. Am I being played a fool? You should have smelled the panties and bathing suit for confirmation of cheating.
kendahke Posted November 8, 2016 Posted November 8, 2016 Thanks so much Soulcat. I just get the gut feeling that she is. Is there a way to confront without being invasive? We love each other a lot but these trust issues are becoming 2 much to deal with. If you have the gut feeling that she's cheating, then why are you still with her? You don't need anything more than your gut to leave the relationship if it's telling you strongly that she's cheating on you. If your trust issues are getting to be too much to deal with, then you're with the wrong woman and you need to put this down. The issue started because we are both constantly texting and calling other people when we're together. She's always worried about who I'm talking to and vice versa. Hmmm.. projection... but I digress... Have you point blank told her you believe her to be a liar? Why not? If right is on your side, you shouldn't fear saying that to her if you feel that is the truth about her. You can't convince me that you love someone and automatically jump to the conclusion that a bag full of clothes and make up that's been in her car for a while means she cheating on you.
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