Kellyredkin Posted November 8, 2016 Posted November 8, 2016 My boyfriend and I have been dating for 9 months, of those nine months we had been long distance for two months. Our relationship had been amazing at the beggining. Great communication, lots of laughs, we even travelled a bit through Europe together. We've introduced each other to our families and discuss staying together through no matter what comes. We agree on marriage, kids (the whole bit). That said, we have recently decided to move to a new city to start working more on our careers. It's been clear that we both wanted to move to a bigger city and try something new out. He had expressed the fact that he didn't want to live with me. I was hurt by his decision but we're going to make the best of it and get our own spots. He's now moved to the city a couple weeks ahead of time and our relationship feels completely different. He's been crying to me on the phone and feeling extreme stress. Last night he told me he wanted to take a break from being together. I woke up this morning to a message saying he made a mistake... I don't want to get stuck in a relationship where my emotions are being toyed with. I don't feel comfortable with the fact that he's tossing around the idea of not being together. I am totally confused and I feel angry with how he's treating me these days. I love him but is this just a phase?
Miss Clavel Posted November 28, 2016 Posted November 28, 2016 i don't think i could be with someone if they are having second thoughts. it's good he told you. and it's even better if you release him from the commitment of being exclusive. you need your own place so you can find someone else. or just take it slower with him. can you give us an update?
salparadise Posted November 28, 2016 Posted November 28, 2016 It could be the stress of moving to a new city, new job and all of that. These are major stressors. But of course, nobody here can tell you exactly what it is, and he probably can't either. I think your options are a) stick with it and see if he equilibrates after some time to adjust, or b) tell him you aren't going to hang around after he destabilized everything by telling you he's unsure about the relationship. He certainly did make a mistake, and you said that he's showing signs of extreme stress (crying on the phone). Given that you apparently love him and were planning a life together, I'd be inclined not to make a hasty decision to cut and run, but you certainly have been given cause to do some reevaluating of your own.
winny Posted November 28, 2016 Posted November 28, 2016 Offer to talk face to face and try to understand whats going on with him. Then take a decision.
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