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Posted

Hi folks!

 

As some of you know, my husband of 12+ years returned from Europe where he had his pay-back affair with his ex-wife, saying he forgave me and wanted to work on "us". I don't know what I expected, but I feel he's not really committed. He did return to couples therapy, but he isn't making a lot of effort for us to spend time together (we've been separated since March).

 

Granted, my husband is very busy with an exhausting job with long hours and a two hour commute, and he is busy in individual and group therapy. One of the things I've asked for - is that we check in with each other every day. On Friday night I called and left him a sentimental message (I was driving by where we got married - the building had been renovated and I suggested we go there together to see the renovations). I also left him a "checking in" message on Sunday. I never heard from him all weekend.

 

When I asked him why - he said he was sick on Saturday and on Sunday he was all day at a racing event and didn't have his cell phone. When I said something to the effect of - "wow you were so sick you couldn't call me - that sounds very serious". He got very agitated, and accused me of "pushing him" and that would I feel better if I knew he "blew me off"? All I could respond with was "I appreciate your honesty".

 

I'm getting really exhausted by all of this - and while I have always been the one to be persistent and never give up - I'm wondering if it is getting close to the time to throw in the towel.

 

Cis

Posted

A payback affair isn't going to fix things... the two of you need counseling.

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Posted

yes - we're in couples counseling, we're both in individual therapy, and he's in group therapy - we're (he's) investing over $3,000 a month in therapy!

Posted

I think most times, people know deep-down, the answer to their own question in a situation like this. They just don't want it to be true.

 

I'm sorry for your pain. Please take care of yourself.

Posted
Originally posted by Cis

yes - we're in couples counseling, we're both in individual therapy, and he's in group therapy - we're (he's) investing over $3,000 a month in therapy!

 

Is it helping? Doesn't sound like it.

 

Three grand a month is going down the drain, if you ask me. Those therapists are making a killing.

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