Cis Posted July 12, 2005 Posted July 12, 2005 Hi folks! As some of you know, my husband of 12+ years returned from Europe where he had his pay-back affair with his ex-wife, saying he forgave me and wanted to work on "us". I don't know what I expected, but I feel he's not really committed. He did return to couples therapy, but he isn't making a lot of effort for us to spend time together (we've been separated since March). Granted, my husband is very busy with an exhausting job with long hours and a two hour commute, and he is busy in individual and group therapy. One of the things I've asked for - is that we check in with each other every day. On Friday night I called and left him a sentimental message (I was driving by where we got married - the building had been renovated and I suggested we go there together to see the renovations). I also left him a "checking in" message on Sunday. I never heard from him all weekend. When I asked him why - he said he was sick on Saturday and on Sunday he was all day at a racing event and didn't have his cell phone. When I said something to the effect of - "wow you were so sick you couldn't call me - that sounds very serious". He got very agitated, and accused me of "pushing him" and that would I feel better if I knew he "blew me off"? All I could respond with was "I appreciate your honesty". I'm getting really exhausted by all of this - and while I have always been the one to be persistent and never give up - I'm wondering if it is getting close to the time to throw in the towel. Cis
westernxer Posted July 12, 2005 Posted July 12, 2005 A payback affair isn't going to fix things... the two of you need counseling.
Author Cis Posted July 12, 2005 Author Posted July 12, 2005 yes - we're in couples counseling, we're both in individual therapy, and he's in group therapy - we're (he's) investing over $3,000 a month in therapy!
New_Wife Posted July 12, 2005 Posted July 12, 2005 I think most times, people know deep-down, the answer to their own question in a situation like this. They just don't want it to be true. I'm sorry for your pain. Please take care of yourself.
westernxer Posted July 12, 2005 Posted July 12, 2005 Originally posted by Cis yes - we're in couples counseling, we're both in individual therapy, and he's in group therapy - we're (he's) investing over $3,000 a month in therapy! Is it helping? Doesn't sound like it. Three grand a month is going down the drain, if you ask me. Those therapists are making a killing.
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