think I got played [update: dump by text]

[jen1447]

Text is fine in cases like this. I wouldn't just blank him - be better than that, even if he isn't.

[smackie9]

Just call him, and tell him that you are done. Tell him he isn't meeting your expectations, and are moving on. Don't let him hoover you back.

 

Simple and to the point.

[kendahke]

So I've been seeing this guy I met on OLD for about 8 weeks. We've been out on 10 dates & also slept together. I had posted in another thread about him that I thought he played me. I now realize that's exactly what's going on, that he's trying to string me along. All his shenanigans, I'm just over it. I'm not the type of person to ghost, I think that's really rude to do, but wondering if it's "politically correct" ok to dump someone you've dated for 8 weeks by text or if it should be saved for a phone call?

 

For anyone who wonders why I think he's stringing me along, so we slept together 2 weeks, I was under the impression we something more but people on here said no but ok, haven't seen him since we slept together. He keeps calling and texting me, but has some reason why he's been busy and hasn't been able to see me, when I saw him a couple times per week before. We had plans to do something this weekend, and he texts me yesterday saying he didn't know, he was trying to figure out if he needed to go out of town (again) so I'm just done.

 

I think since he's stringing me along, it should be ok to text him back saying this isn't what I'm looking for, but want other people's opinions.....

 

I think that contacting him to let him know where he failed to hit the mark won't have the effect you think it will. He'll just gaslight you. I vote for just evaporating from his life. That will bother him more than you pointing out his bad manners to him--he just may not really GAF about how you felt about him texting all evening.

 

If you're grown enough to have an adult son, then you're most likely in your 40's and so is dude. He's old enough to know that what he did is rude... pointing something like this out to a 40-something year old man is just tragic.

 

Cut the string.

[Penguin_hugs]

I just did something similar actually. Dating around 8 weeks, slept together etc. Then he sent me a few weird messages about how he was really busy and this was so unfair on me and it was only going to get worse. BUT didn't actually end it! So I asked for clarification twice an he kept ignoring me for days at a time. I even said in the last message- so does this mean that you don't want to date and there was no response for 2 days. Even though I could see he had read it etc, had been online on social media in that time etc. So in the end I just sent a short snippy message saying "I guess I have my answer- I'm done"

He replied pretty sharpish with yet another ambiguous message after that but I was over it and moving on

 

No one deserves to be treated badly

 

It actually felt really empowering sending that message because I was so irritated

[Dis]

Elizabeth is spot on

 

Silence speaks so much louder than words and has much a more profound impact than even the most clever/well thought out text you could send

 

Plus, he obvi doesnt care and might be getting a laugh out of this so if you send him a text ending it...he will know he got to you

 

With all of my break ups I always turn into a stone cold silencer...and that silence equals the playing fields and gives me my power and diginity back

 

Silence is the way to go

 

*crickets*

[elaine567]

He's old enough to know that what he did is rude.... pointing something like this out to a 40-something year old man is just tragic.

 

 

Its worse - he is a 50 something year old man...

53.

 

[leogirl876]

Elizabeth is spot on

 

Silence speaks so much louder than words and has much a more profound impact than even the most clever/well thought out text you could send

 

Plus, he obvi doesnt care and might be getting a laugh out of this so if you send him a text ending it...he will know he got to you

 

With all of my break ups I always turn into a stone cold silencer...and that silence equals the playing fields and gives me my power and diginity back

 

Silence is the way to go

 

*crickets*

 

Well it's funny, he's been acting really weird, flaky and hot & cold since we slept together. He had made plans with me for this weekend, and when I texted him asking if we were still on, it took him 24 hours to respond saying he didn't know because he didn't know if he had to go out of town or not (right!!!). That text was yesterday, I didn't respond, so last evening, he calls me, I don't answer but he leaves a message to say "hello and to call him back". I haven't texted him back or called him back yet, so later this afternoon he calls again, doesn't leave a message but then sends me a text saying "hi baby, how are you, are you working today?" I still haven't responded.

 

It's funny how wishy washy he was until I start ignoring him, then he starts chasing! I'm almost tempted to have a little fun with him & toy with him a little bit! The thing is, I did like this guy, but I refuse to allow a man to treat me like he's stringing me along.....

[Dis]

Well it's funny, he's been acting really weird, flaky and hot & cold since we slept together. He had made plans with me for this weekend, and when I texted him asking if we were still on, it took him 24 hours to respond saying he didn't know because he didn't know if he had to go out of town or not (right!!!). That text was yesterday, I didn't respond, so last evening, he calls me, I don't answer but he leaves a message to say "hello and to call him back". I haven't texted him back or called him back yet, so later this afternoon he calls again, doesn't leave a message but then sends me a text saying "hi baby, how are you, are you working today?" I still haven't responded.

 

It's funny how wishy washy he was until I start ignoring him, then he starts chasing! I'm almost tempted to have a little fun with him & toy with him a little bit! The thing is, I did like this guy, but I refuse to allow a man to treat me like he's stringing me along.....

 

Uck! Ya, keep your standards high and ignore him 100%

 

He may talk a good game calling you 'baby' and increasing his communication once you decrease yours...but look at his actions

 

Hes been all over the place. Thats just unacceptable and its not how a healthy relationship oriented man would behave

 

I think you've seen enough of his semantics...time to block

 

Just warning you...if you do decide to try to toy with him...he'll probably start to pull back and start up with his wishy washy nonsense....this guy is a joke...dont let him laugh at you

 

Leave him right where he is...chasing after you. This a good note to leave off of...seriously

 

Block block block girl!

[ElizabethIII]

Elizabeth is spot on

 

Silence speaks so much louder than words and has much a more profound impact than even the most clever/well thought out text you could send

 

Plus, he obvi doesnt care and might be getting a laugh out of this so if you send him a text ending it...he will know he got to you

 

With all of my break ups I always turn into a stone cold silencer...and that silence equals the playing fields and gives me my power and diginity back

 

Silence is the way to go

 

*crickets*

 

If there is one thing I really regret in my previous situations like these is ever saying anything at all, showing I cared or that they had got to me. I am so shamed of some of the things I said.

 

Now if a guy messes around and doesnt make firm plans, they will not get any reaction out of me whatsoever. I refuse to lose my dignity ever again.

 

if a an is messing around and not making plans, then he clearly doesn't care enough about me to bother even seeing me. So why lose more dignity by telling him you dont want to see him anymore when he doesnt care if he sees me or not. He will get stony silence and that is the best way.

 

Any reaction is a reaction. If the OP texts him, he apologizes, she accepts his apology, gets sucked in again, he messes around again. This could happen 50 times if you let it. Silence is the only way to break the cycle.

Edited November 18, 2016 by ElizabethIII

[leogirl876]

If there is one thing I really regret in my previous situations like these is ever saying anything at all, showing I cared or that they had got to me. I am so shamed of some of the things I said.

 

Now if a guy messes around and doesnt make firm plans, they will not get any reaction out of me whatsoever. I refuse to lose my dignity ever again.

 

if a an is messing around and not making plans, then he clearly doesn't care enough about me to bother even seeing me. So why lose more dignity by telling him you dont want to see him anymore when he doesnt care if he sees me or not. He will get stony silence and that is the best way.

 

Any reaction is a reaction. If the OP texts him, he apologizes, she accepts his apology, gets sucked in again, he messes around again. This could happen 50 times if you let it. Silence is the only way to break the cycle.

 

Yep, I've been there done that a million times! I'm not giving one more man another chance to prove to me he's a douche bag! Screw me over once, shame on you, screw me over twice, shame on me! Time to make changes in my life so I get different results!

[leogirl876]

Do you ladies think he knows what he did wrong? He's gotta know what he's done is wrong and not cool! Do you think he'll figure it out the reason I didn't respond was because of his behavior?

[ElizabethIII]

Do you ladies think he knows what he did wrong? He's gotta know what he's done is wrong and not cool! Do you think he'll figure it out the reason I didn't respond was because of his behavior?

 

He probably doesnt think he has done anything wrong and if he doesnt care enough to treat you well, wont care that you cut him off.

 

We all want to think they care or that they arent as bad as they are. But they really dont care and who cares what he is thinking.

[leogirl876]

He probably doesnt think he has done anything wrong and if he doesnt care enough to treat you well, wont care that you cut him off.

 

We all want to think they care or that they arent as bad as they are. But they really dont care and who cares what he is thinking.

 

That's so true!!! No more putting up with loser men and giving them a second chance to screw me over, once is enough!

[elaine567]

Do you ladies think he knows what he did wrong? He's gotta know what he's done is wrong and not cool! Do you think he'll figure it out the reason I didn't respond was because of his behavior?

 

Do you think he really cares?

I know you want him to regret his actions and to feel like a big turd, but if he actually cared and was a decent human being, he would not have treated you in the way he has, in the first place.

Guys like this care not one jot, and I guess he got what he wanted and now he is keeping you on the back burner, in case other plans fall through and he can slot you in at the last minute.

I know we do not live in a romantic fairy tale fantasy land, but there is a standard of common decency and sleeping with a woman and effectively going MIA afterwards, doesn't come anywhere near it.

[Dis]

Do you ladies think he knows what he did wrong? He's gotta know what he's done is wrong and not cool! Do you think he'll figure it out the reason I didn't respond was because of his behavior?

 

He knows what hes doing...he just doesnt care because hes probably gotten away with it so many times

 

He thinks if he keeps leaving you breadcrumbs you'll stick around

 

He doesnt value you enough to treat you the way you deserve but he doesnt want to let you go either...typical

 

Hes stepped on many women who allowed themselves to be doormats...he thinks your the same as all the rest

 

Prove him wrong girl!

 

Let your silence slap him right in the face

[elaine567]

I think in reference to his age, I believe people do not really change that much and given the opportunity to play the field, and misuse women with a "love them and leave them attitude", the guys that did that at 20, will do that at 50+ too.