cherie88 Posted November 7, 2016 Posted November 7, 2016 There was this guy i use to shrug off for months whenever he would attempt to talk to me I was hurt by many guys and didn't feel ready to put myself out there and I honestly I judged him to be like the others . 6 months later I decided to give him a chance and we hit it off. He wasn't much of a texter but was always down to see me, I got him tickets to a soccer game and told him that many guys have hurt me in the past that's why I blew him off initially. He was so happy cause he told me a girl never got him tickets before.. I thought we were going somewhere next thing you know it's almost three months in and I ask what he was looking for cause I don't do Casual relationships at first he wasn't being clear and then he told me he's not ready for something serious..and Got scared and said I wasn't replying ..i said okay and kept my distance ever since he's been reaching out to me and I fell for it and went to see him again. Recently I texted him and he got mad cause I didn't reply as quickly enough I told him maybe we just want two different things and said goodnight did I overact ?i just don't understand how you can say you're not seeing anyone else but you don't want a committed relationship.
Redhead14 Posted November 8, 2016 Posted November 8, 2016 There was this guy i use to shrug off for months whenever he would attempt to talk to me I was hurt by many guys and didn't feel ready to put myself out there and I honestly I judged him to be like the others . 6 months later I decided to give him a chance and we hit it off. He wasn't much of a texter but was always down to see me, I got him tickets to a soccer game and told him that many guys have hurt me in the past that's why I blew him off initially. He was so happy cause he told me a girl never got him tickets before.. I thought we were going somewhere next thing you know it's almost three months in and I ask what he was looking for cause I don't do Casual relationships at first he wasn't being clear and then he told me he's not ready for something serious..and Got scared and said I wasn't replying ..i said okay and kept my distance ever since he's been reaching out to me and I fell for it and went to see him again. Recently I texted him and he got mad cause I didn't reply as quickly enough I told him maybe we just want two different things and said goodnight did I overact ?i just don't understand how you can say you're not seeing anyone else but you don't want a committed relationship. just don't understand how you can say you're not seeing anyone else but you don't want a committed relationship -- It's easy . . . he's not seeing anyone else RIGHT NOW and he doesn't want a committed relationship with you because he wants to be able to see someone else at some point . . . 2
Buddhist Posted November 8, 2016 Posted November 8, 2016 Being available in general does not mean available to you.
smackie9 Posted November 8, 2016 Posted November 8, 2016 Geeeez that sucks. Maybe discuss expectations sooner rather than 3 months in. 1
Author cherie88 Posted November 8, 2016 Author Posted November 8, 2016 I'm not sure if I look crazy or spiteful cause originally I told him That's not what I want and then we went back to seeing eachother and when he started complaining about texting I snapped a little and said our communication sucks maybe cause we want two different things and I said believe it or not I actually did try to get to know you..
Redhead14 Posted November 8, 2016 Posted November 8, 2016 I'm not sure if I look crazy or spiteful cause originally I told him That's not what I want and then we went back to seeing eachother and when he started complaining about texting I snapped a little and said our communication sucks maybe cause we want two different things and I said believe it or not I actually did try to get to know you.. not sure if I look crazy or spiteful -- Both. It's both crazy and spiteful to get pissy with someone who has made it clear that they don't want a relationship instead of hearing what they've told you and continuing to expect them want them to give you what you want . . . Anger/pissyness/putting the crazy on is the outward expression of something else -- hurt, frustration, disappointment. It's OK to feel these things but if someone doesn't want to be in a relationship with you it's best to manage the emotions and accept the facts with dignity and respect. I prefer to leave a situation on the high road. It just makes it easier to move forward and not carry around the "baggage" of that situation going forward. "I've enjoyed spending time with you over the last Xtime. We want different things though out of our dating journeys and so I want to move on to find the kind of relationship I want and I wish you well."
Author cherie88 Posted November 8, 2016 Author Posted November 8, 2016 I left it off the high road initially and said unfortunately that's not what I want I wish you well and he panicked we started talking again and he was complaining about my texting habits and I said sorry. I asked how does he feel about our communication he said it sucks. I really tried not to come off as spiteful but if he's complaining about these things I said "maybe it's cause we want different things ya know maybe we can talk about this another time, goodnight "
Author cherie88 Posted November 8, 2016 Author Posted November 8, 2016 Like I told him i do care anyone who knows me knows I'm bad at texting and prefer calls, he seemed pusses cause he said I always do this, and when I asked honestly how do you think our communication is cause I care. But why should I feel bad or care if he doesn't even want a relationship with me? Did I over react?
Redhead14 Posted November 8, 2016 Posted November 8, 2016 Like I told him i do care anyone who knows me knows I'm bad at texting and prefer calls, he seemed pusses cause he said I always do this, and when I asked honestly how do you think our communication is cause I care. But why should I feel bad or care if he doesn't even want a relationship with me? Did I over react? Yes, you overreacted to the texting complaint simply because it's a moot issue . . . he doesn't want a relationship so it doesn't matter what your texting habits are . . . you shouldn't have bothered to respond to the text complaint at all. You should have simply said you were going to move on for no other reason than the fact that you're looking for a relationship and he isn't. Bottomline, forget about the complaint and how you responded. Tell him you're moving on and keep moving.
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