BritishBoy22 Posted November 7, 2016 Posted November 7, 2016 Hi all, So about a month ago, my girlfriend broke up with me. We are both sophomores in college, and had been together for 8 months. I was her first boyfriend and she was my second girlfriend (albeit my first relationship lasted about a month before I ended it). I am very emotional, whereas she is the complete opposite (in terms of sharing how she is feeling, etc.) Towards the end of our relationship, I began getting frustrated with how she wouldn't open up to me (yes, I realize I was in the wrong). I felt she wasn't giving "us" enough time either, as even amongst our busy schedules, I was always there for her, but as she joined a service frat and club exec boards, it was harder to get a lot of "us" time. I acted very needy and clingy, and although she says that she broke up because she didn't think it was fair for me to be with her if she couldn't be the girl I wanted her to be, I think the way I acted in the two weeks leading to our split was what drove her away. I would be very jealous about her hanging with other guy friends, and joke that she liked them more than she liked me (something I have identified as something I must work on whether she comes back into my life or not). When she broke up with me, I cried endlessly. I immediately tried to get her to change her mind, asking her to meet me to talk and hear me out. She did not ignore me then. But after a week of me not giving her the space she asked wanted, she told me that she couldn't do us anymore. She kept the communication lines open, but I was distraught. I cried even more, embarrassingly so. In the span of the next few weeks, I would contact her every now and then to ask her to talk (for I wanted to make up for my mistakes). When she met me after two weeks, I apologized for the way I acted, and told her I still loved her. She told me she still needed space and that I shouldn't wait for her. Fast forward another week or so, and I texted her saying that I had been thinking about her, and that I could not go on pretending like she didn't exist (i.e. not being able to reply to her in our group chat with friends, or like her insta pics, or feeling guilty for watching her snap stories thinking that I wasn't giving her space). She did not reply to this text, but I just realized that she has blocked me from instagram, snapchat, facebook, and most other communication sites. I have not tried texting her as I assume I am blocked there too. I know what this sounds like, because it is what it sounds like. I am having a hard time moving on. I would like to say that she is not a bad girl. I do not think she is intentionally trying to hurt me. I believe I made her feel like she could not be with her friends, whereas I thought she meant she was too busy to be with her friends when we had discussed it before. Any actions I have made post-breakup have likely pushed her further away, with the blocking being another tough blow. I have definitely thought about whether I love and miss her, or whether I miss having a gf. I truly believe that I do miss and love her. My friends (mostly mutual) have told me to move on for me, and that even though she still loves me, she feels she's too busy for a relationship. I do not know how she truly feels. I have class with her three times a week and live in the same building. While I know that I cannot blame myself entirely for the break up, I still feel guilty and cannot stop hoping that I'll get a second chance. But so much has happened that I do not know whether she would ever give me a second chance. Any guidance would be much appreciated. It will soon be a month since we split. Tough love has been sent my way already, and I know that if it is meant to be, then it may be. But right now I guess I just needed to get my story out there. Apologies for the length. P.S. The breakup has begun to consume my life. I cannot eat well, but can at least sleep. It's just been a difficult pill to swallow amongst the business of college and all. I do genuinely miss her, and regret my actions. I know there is not much I can do now.
ja123 Posted November 22, 2016 Posted November 22, 2016 Breaking up is never easy. But you are no longer a couple, so you need to accept that so you can grieve and move on. I'd suggest talking to a counsellor at your school. You can't eat or sleep, you need to talk this through. Also, check out the coping thread on LoveShack: Coping - LoveShack.org Community Forums Hope you'll be feeling better soon!
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