thegame Posted July 12, 2005 Posted July 12, 2005 i have known this girl for almost 4 years now, but we started dating almost 2 years now we feel in love not long after, it was a fantasy, we did everything togther, she was my 1st and i was hers we almost got married we bought the dress the rings but for some reason we decided to wait till she come back from vacation with her family.....i wasnt the good bf in the last couple of months b4 she left, for lots of reasons most of them was the fear of losing her when she goes on vacation so the 3 weeks pass and she is back no feeling no nothing and she breaks up with me the day after she comes back, i begged her, did everything i could for het to take me back but nothing, 3 weeks later she finaly tells me there is someone else and he lives in europe and then a couple days later she told me she cheated on me not once but 7 damn times when she was away while i was so excited counting the days till she comes back i am destroyed, we talked for like 4 hours last night, i told her i am willing to forgive and forget if i get a chance to prove to her that i really do love her, so she finally agreed to 1 week. i have been thinking all night long is it worth it anymore, cuz if she has done it b4 how can i trust her how can i belive she wont do it again the crazy thing is she only knew him for 3 weeks and hes in a diffrent country and i've known her for 4 years but the last 2 years we have been together. what should i do..i love her and i dont know what to do anymore. please i need help
Merin Posted July 12, 2005 Posted July 12, 2005 Sorry.. First thing to do is STOP letting her turn the tables here.. what do you mean SHE agreed to give you another opportunity? She's the one who cheated on you.. so right there as far as I'm concerned IF anyone should've been begging and asking for another chance here that would've been HER. Secondly.. IF the 2 of you were/are in love and ready for marriage then it wouldn't matter if she went on vacation for 3 weeks.. while yes you would miss one another there shouldn't have been reason for you to believe you would lose her or she would cheat on you... see what I'm saying? Marriage is suppose to be a life time committment... sheesh she fell the hell apart after 3 weeks... Honestly I think you need to think more about this here... do you really want this in your life? Good Luck
Author thegame Posted July 12, 2005 Author Posted July 12, 2005 its really complicated as i said i wasnt the good person i was for most of the 2 years, at the end i caused tons of problems for no reason the only thing she keeps on begging me for is to be her friend she keeps on saying i dont want to lose you and crys, she sometimes makes me feel that she wants me and other times i feel like she is shutting me away the night she was leaving i was a jerk i didnt say goodbye and i refused to see her, it was foolish and i do regret doing that and from what she told me yesterday is that when she got there she was like its all over he doesnt want me, but my thing that bothers me is how can u have sex 7 times with someone that u barely know and with ure ex it took for ever to get to that step.
Merin Posted July 12, 2005 Posted July 12, 2005 Originally posted by thegame its really complicated as i said i wasnt the good person i was for most of the 2 years, at the end i caused tons of problems for no reason the only thing she keeps on begging me for is to be her friend she keeps on saying i dont want to lose you and crys, she sometimes makes me feel that she wants me and other times i feel like she is shutting me away the night she was leaving i was a jerk i didnt say goodbye and i refused to see her, it was foolish and i do regret doing that and from what she told me yesterday is that when she got there she was like its all over he doesnt want me, but my thing that bothers me is how can u have sex 7 times with someone that u barely know and with ure ex it took for ever to get to that step. IF you were her first sexual experience I can see how it took that long to get to that step.. the unknown can be scary. IF you refused to see her or speak with her before she left, then in some ways you sort of set yourself up for this.. sorry...
Author thegame Posted July 12, 2005 Author Posted July 12, 2005 ya i know most of it is my fault and i do admit that 100% but i just wish everything was ok and non of this happened i am a lil nervous about this week were i am trying to show her that i still love her and gain her trust after that scumbag used her to get what he wanted
westernxer Posted July 12, 2005 Posted July 12, 2005 Traveling is just an expensive way to hook up with other people. It happens all the time, and it's easy as hell, because you never have to see them again, once you get your fill for the evening. The two of you are too young to get married, that much is certain (if I could use tú in this sentence, I would).
Author thegame Posted July 12, 2005 Author Posted July 12, 2005 i know she proposed to me so our love will get stronger no matter what when she came back she blamed me and said if i would of married her everything would of been diffrent but anyway i am willing to forgive her, but the think is i have a bad feeling about her giving me a 1 week chance..she called me alot today just to say hi and talk, but i am confused as hell i really want her but at the same time i am afraid of being hurt thats why i am trying to aproach this week in a diffrent way and c whats gonna happen
Merin Posted July 12, 2005 Posted July 12, 2005 Originally posted by thegame i know she proposed to me so our love will get stronger no matter what when she came back she blamed me and said if i would of married her everything would of been diffrent Wh t? She proposed to you so your love will get stronger no matter what? Sorry.. what the hell does that mean? Second.. IF you would've married her then you would've had a wife who had cheated on you... IMO the 2 of you are not at all ready for marriage to anyone...
Author thegame Posted July 12, 2005 Author Posted July 12, 2005 marriage can wait now...its no longer that important anymore..all i want now is to c where this week will take us and then based on that i will go either very slow with her or cut her for good which i know i will not be able to
J dub Posted July 12, 2005 Posted July 12, 2005 Do you think a week is enough to prove your love, or for her to prove to YOU that she is worthy for that matter?
Author thegame Posted July 13, 2005 Author Posted July 13, 2005 she is way younger then me she is almost 19 i just turned 26 but today i took a huge step and cut her off totally i dont need that in my life everybody has been telling me that i deserve better, i will step on my heart cuz i want someone that will be there for me not to cheat and lie on me she called me 18 times after i hung up with her and i refused to pick up at all so she left me like 4 voice mails crying and wanting me to call her back, which i wont cuz in my dictonary she is a slut i still love her but i need better
Author thegame Posted July 13, 2005 Author Posted July 13, 2005 its so funny but pathetic how she is now chasing me to be my friend which i dont want to be either after she shuts me out and cheats on me claiming that she was lonely and thinking i never cared about her to be honest thats bull cuz i never ever ever though about cheating on her at all not even when she dumped me cuz i loved her and it seemed she never really loved me
westernxer Posted July 13, 2005 Posted July 13, 2005 It's always a 19-year-old who acts like this... never fails. They're usually indecisive about everything.
Author thegame Posted July 13, 2005 Author Posted July 13, 2005 now i finally belive that she has been bugging me since last night now to be friends..i dont want to be her friend i have been ignoring her ever since
westernxer Posted July 13, 2005 Posted July 13, 2005 Yeah, just ignore her and date other chicks who don't want to be friends only.
Author thegame Posted July 13, 2005 Author Posted July 13, 2005 this is a huge lesson for me i should of listened when everybody warned me about dating a girl around 18 everybody told me stick with the 21s and up but i was stupid to realize that and i was stupid that i really fell in love with her and thought she fell the same way i have a wedding dress and 2 rings sitting in my closet that i didnt even pay for and she wants nothing to with it at all...wow women r really really weird
Author thegame Posted July 13, 2005 Author Posted July 13, 2005 i am getting her back so good she is begging for my friendship and not wanting to lose me, and that she wants me to talk to her on the phone which i wont do cuz knowing her prob she will try to make me feel guilty for acting like that
westernxer Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 Doesn't she have girlfriends? That should be enough for her.
RecordProducer Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 Well she practically abandoned you the moment she kissed him and started a relationship with him. Only technically she was with both of you for 3 weeks, but in reality she broke up with you on the first day after she arrived. So she was not with two men at the same time. If she has chosen to be with someone else and break up with you, it means at that point she was not happy with the relationship. I don't see her deed as so immoral as much as I see your relationship being in bad terms right now because of the break-up and the jealousy it naturally caused. If you are bale to get past it and work on your relationship, it could work out this time. You admitted yourself that you didn't treat her good lately. I think what people are generally afraid of is that when problems start that things will get worse and worse with time. That's why she didn't have much faith in your relationship. Your prediction that she would cheat on you during the vacation is also not coincidental; you actually knew that something like that might happen given that she was not happy with you. So she needed consolation, revenge, and attention and she found it temporarily. If you're going to blame her for what happened and give her a hard time, she will most likely leave you rather than feel guilty. If you want to re-build the relationship, you need to show her that you're worth her love. Everyone has a right to leave us even if that was a mistake. We don't possess anyone.
Author thegame Posted July 14, 2005 Author Posted July 14, 2005 she yesterday admited finaly that there is feelings buts she is afraid and she wants to move on so she doesnt get hurt over and over i am trying my best to figure out a solution to this prob should i just let go for good or should i keep on fighting for something i still belive in
westernxer Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 You can't fight for love, buddy. It's not like war, where you can actually make a difference by busting your ass. The approach is quite the opposite... you have to withdraw and play it cool, show her you got game and won't sweat over her quirks. Right now she knows you're desperate... that is a major turnoff. Some girls don't play this game, but most 19-year-olds do.
Author thegame Posted July 15, 2005 Author Posted July 15, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer You can't fight for love, buddy. It's not like war, where you can actually make a difference by busting your ass. The approach is quite the opposite... you have to withdraw and play it cool, show her you got game and won't sweat over her quirks. Right now she knows you're desperate... that is a major turnoff. Some girls don't play this game, but most 19-year-olds do. i think ure right today i acted cool and was so normal with her and i will c where this will take us
Author thegame Posted July 16, 2005 Author Posted July 16, 2005 i'd love to know whats on girls minds
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