Jump to content

Seriously red flags

Nicole10

By Nicole10
in Dating

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Nicole10 Established Member

Nicole10

Posted
Posted (edited)

I went out with this guy two times. The first time we went for drinks (he suggested dinner but I didnt have much time). Nevertheless, we ended up spending three hours together. It was really great. Than he even suggested not going out of town that week so he could see me but since I was busy he left. This weekend he came back and asked to see me again. I told him I was busy (working on a big project for the last month) but he kept insisting and I agreed to let him pick me up and just sit in the car and talk for half an hour. Well, we ended up sitting and talking for 3.5 hours (till 3.30am).

That part is good. However, what bothers me is that he asked few times if I wanted to go over to his house "to only sleep next to him." And when I refused he was even hinting to have sex in the car. YUCK. We did talk how it would be if we would be in a relationship, blah blah but nothing specific. In the end, he asked me to meet him the next day for lunch but I had to refuse again as it was aready 3.30am and I had to do a lot of work the next day.

Do you think this is a red flag and he is only after sex? From my experience, guys who really care dont pressure girls for sex for the fear of losing them.

Edited by Nicole10
ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

Posted
Posted

Where did you meet him?

 

It seems he is overly eager to have sex, yes. How old is he? It would put me off if a man was being insistent to the point of asking me to sleep next to him when we haven't even had a proper date.

 

As a side note, do you have time to date right now? It seems that each time he has asked you for an actual date, you are too busy. Maybe it's best to wait a bit before seeing someone.

  • Like 2
Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

Posted
Posted

Yes he is only after sex.

 

It's so obvious, don't you see the big red light flashing on his forehead?

 

This man has no respect for you or your time.

 

When you said you could not meet with him he insisted and insisted (red flag #1) then you agree to 30 minutes and he makes it a 3 hour (red flag #2) then he suggested sex in the car (red flag #3). Invited you over to his house to sleep next to him (red flad #4).

 

Now lets look at you

 

When you said you could not meet with him he insisted and insisted and you accepted ( your lack of boundaries #1) then you agree to 30 minutes and he makes it a 3 hour (your lack of boundaries #2) then he suggested sex in the car and you did not ask him to leave (your lack of boundaries #3). Invited you over to his house to sleep next to him and you kept on talking to him (your lack of boundaries #4).

  • Like 8
  • Author
Nicole10 Established Member

Nicole10

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Where did you meet him?

 

It seems he is overly eager to have sex, yes. How old is he? It would put me off if a man was being insistent to the point of asking me to sleep next to him when we haven't even had a proper date.

 

As a side note, do you have time to date right now? It seems that each time he has asked you for an actual date, you are too busy. Maybe it's best to ait a bit before seeing someone.

You got it :)

I wont really have time to date till Christmas. However, if I really care about someone I could make some time. It is just that I am working on something really important. He is 33 and I met him at my friend's party. He is a friend of her friend. He also travels a lot for work (during the week) but is usually in town on the weekends.

  • Author
Nicole10 Established Member

Nicole10

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Yes he is only after sex.

 

It's so obvious, don't you see the big red light flashing on his forehead?

 

This man has no respect for you or your time.

 

When you said you could not meet with him he insisted and insisted (red flag #1) then you agree to 30 minutes and he makes it a 3 hour (red flag #2) then he suggested sex in the car (red flag #3). Invited you over to his house to sleep next to him (red flad #4).

 

Now lets look at you

 

When you said you could not meet with him he insisted and insisted and you accepted ( your lack of boundaries #1) then you agree to 30 minutes and he makes it a 3 hour (your lack of boundaries #2) then he suggested sex in the car and you did not ask him to leave (your lack of boundaries #3). Invited you over to his house to sleep next to him and you kept on talking to him (your lack of boundaries #4).

 

I agree except that making it 3 hours was my fault too. We just kept talking and talking and I didnt feel like going home.

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

Posted
Posted
I agree except that making it 3 hours was my fault too. We just kept talking and talking and I didnt feel like going home.

 

Yes and it's a lack of boundaries from you. You said you didn't have time for a date but give him 3 hours in the car. If you don't respect your own words how can anyone else respect it? If you say one thing and do another people will never take you seriously when you say you're busy and have no time.

  • Like 3
  • Author
Nicole10 Established Member

Nicole10

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Oh and I just remembered another weird detail. We were talking about relationships and he said something strange. He was talking about couples who are 70 years old and still hold hands and he thought that in today's society that is impossible. Then he said he would like to be with me somewhere isolated where we wouldnt have much contact with other people and so temptation would be minimal. He is a big nature lover and I know he was also joking but still it is really weird. What does it mean? He doesnt trust himself? He wouldng trust me? He wants to be with me but hide me from everyone? :D

Mkn1010 Established Member

Mkn1010

Posted
Posted

I think this guy is either desperate for action or alternatively desperate to push the dynamic along at an unhealthy pace, despite your busy schedule.

 

 

Either way, he is pushy and I don't think it's going to end well. If he starts future faking, then RUN!!

  • Like 2
  • Author
Nicole10 Established Member

Nicole10

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

I think he is desperate for action. He texted me yesterday to see how my day was going, I just ignored the text. I really liked him but couldn't get over the feeling that he didnt have much respect for me.

Edited by Nicole10
stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted

I think this guy is just dying to have sex with you and will do anything to get it. This is fine if sex is all you're looking for. Everything he seems to say sounds like smoke blowing.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Nicole10 Established Member

Nicole10

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

I really liked him but couldn't get over the feeling that he didnt have much respect for me. The funny thing is that he even talked about it. He said that there are some girls he could be with for one night and then move on but that I am different and he wants everything or nothing with me. Yup smoke blowing

Edited by Nicole10
TheTraveler Established Member

TheTraveler

Posted
Posted
I went out with this guy two times. The first time we went for drinks (he suggested dinner but I didnt have much time). Nevertheless, we ended up spending three hours together. It was really great. Than he even suggested not going out of town that week so he could see me but since I was busy he left. This weekend he came back and asked to see me again. I told him I was busy (working on a big project for the last month) but he kept insisting and I agreed to let him pick me up and just sit in the car and talk for half an hour. Well, we ended up sitting and talking for 3.5 hours (till 3.30am).

That part is good. However, what bothers me is that he asked few times if I wanted to go over to his house "to only sleep next to him." And when I refused he was even hinting to have sex in the car. YUCK. We did talk how it would be if we would be in a relationship, blah blah but nothing specific. In the end, he asked me to meet him the next day for lunch but I had to refuse again as it was aready 3.30am and I had to do a lot of work the next day.

Do you think this is a red flag and he is only after sex? From my experience, guys who really care dont pressure girls for sex for the fear of losing them.

 

What is wrong having sex in a car?:p

 

And there's nothing wrong talking in the car for three hours if you're enjoying it.

 

I will guarantee you from his end he was only in the car for three hours trying to have sex and kept hanging on for the three hours hoping you would change your mind. He's only after you for sex.

  • Like 2
  • Author
Nicole10 Established Member

Nicole10

Posted
  • Author
Posted
What is wrong having sex in a car?:p

 

And there's nothing wrong talking in the car for three hours if you're enjoying it.

 

I will guarantee you from his end he was only in the car for three hours trying to have sex and kept hanging on for the three hours hoping you would change your mind. He's only after you for sex.

Well, our first date (at a local bar) was quite long as well. I think we both enjoy talking to each other. But still, with everything I said in my previous texts, yes, I agree he was only after sex. I wanted to hear other perspectives.

Sex in the car on the second "date". Nah :o

TheTraveler Established Member

TheTraveler

Posted
Posted
Well, our first date (at a local bar) was quite long as well. I think we both enjoy talking to each other. But still, with everything I said in my previous texts, yes, I agree he was only after sex. I wanted to hear other perspectives.

Sex in the car on the second "date". Nah :o

 

Also his game isn't tight. He needs to work on it because he's bad at it:cool:

  • Like 1
  • Author
Nicole10 Established Member

Nicole10

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Also his game isn't tight. He needs to work on it because he's bad at it:cool:

 

Hahahhaha, I will let him know that :cool:

  • Author
Nicole10 Established Member

Nicole10

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Btw, the Traveller, are you a male or female? Just curious if this is a guy's perspective.

smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
Posted

This guy has you so emotionally stimulated you are overlooking the red flags....take the blinders off.

  • Author
Nicole10 Established Member

Nicole10

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)
This guy has you so emotionally stimulated you are overlooking the red flags....take the blinders off.

 

No, I just wanted to confirm my thoughts. If I was emotionally blinded I would have either had sex with him or kept finding excuses for his behaviour.

And during the first date there were no red flags. He was a perfect gentleman (got up few times to get me water as our server disappeared, picked up the check, asked me for another date, texted me before going to bed and again in the morning...) and it lasted as long as till.... the next date :)

Edited by Nicole10
Miss Peach Established Member

Miss Peach

Posted
Posted

This is looking like sex to me too. He might really like you and want something more but assume at this time it's sex.

  • Like 1
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...