AcaciaStrain Posted November 6, 2016 Posted November 6, 2016 (M) 25 here, my partner (f) 22 have been together 4 years. The last week or so she's been abit cold. Been out with my mates till 4 am on atleast 3-4 nights. Particulary with my best mate. She has asked me to come out on those occasions but I declined. I know she loves me but I know something's up, feel it in my gut. I have to be honest the last year or so I have been taking her for granted and arguments have happened a lot. She's not the gigs type but I think her and my mate might be liking each other. So I dont a little digging and looked at the texts between them both and found that she constantly was asking when he got home ect. What's my best course of action? Or am I being a little needy. Help appreciated!
Poutrew Posted November 6, 2016 Posted November 6, 2016 If she has already gone this far, you have already lost her. Even if they haven't banged each other yet. She is developing an emotional attachment to your friend. Even if you put a stop to it now, the damage is done and it'll start up again at some point in the future. Question is, do you want to live with a woman you can't trust? I know I wouldn't. Your call on what happens next...
Author AcaciaStrain Posted November 6, 2016 Author Posted November 6, 2016 I forgot to add that my friend is good friends with her and they work in the same place. Also she said she's being going out because of her depression which she suffers from. It's hard to tell at the moment.
basil67 Posted November 6, 2016 Posted November 6, 2016 Arguments have been happening a lot? What do the two of you argue over? And what is stopping the arguments from being resolved? Lots of arguments will drive a partner away....
ExpatInItaly Posted November 6, 2016 Posted November 6, 2016 Perhaps she is being cold because she feels excluded. She is asking to spend time with you and you have rejected her. You admit you have been taking her for granted. I'm not sure what other reaction you were expecting from her. Just a theory, but perhaps she has been texting him because she's trying to figure out what you have been up to on these nights out, and if your story lines up with his. Meaning that if you say you got home at 4 (for example) she might be trying to verify if that is true, based on what time he says you've all been out until.
Sweetfish Posted November 6, 2016 Posted November 6, 2016 If she has already gone this far, you have already lost her. Even if they haven't banged each other yet. She is developing an emotional attachment to your friend. Even if you put a stop to it now, the damage is done and it'll start up again at some point in the future. Question is, do you want to live with a woman you can't trust? I know I wouldn't. Your call on what happens next... I agree. This is most likely what's happening.
Author AcaciaStrain Posted November 6, 2016 Author Posted November 6, 2016 So my mate just told me what happened and she's came to him telling she likes him ect.. My mate said to her just stop it. So I've basically ended it with her and blocked her on all social websites and gone no contact
Poutrew Posted November 7, 2016 Posted November 7, 2016 So my mate just told me what happened and she's came to him telling she likes him ect.. My mate said to her just stop it. So I've basically ended it with her and blocked her on all social websites and gone no contact Good job. It's also nice to know you have a friend who follows the 'bro code'... 1
Author AcaciaStrain Posted November 7, 2016 Author Posted November 7, 2016 So last night she literally kept contacting me saying how much she loved me and wanted me back about thousand times. I dunno how but I couldn't block her on facebook. I went round there and she begged and begged said that she was drunk when she said those things and some of the words went lost in translation ect ect.. I gave her another chance only because she gave me a chance when I kissed another girl about 2 years ago. Have I made a mistake?
ExpatInItaly Posted November 7, 2016 Posted November 7, 2016 It sounds like you two are better broken up. Between you kissing someone else and her latest confession to your friend, there is a lack of emotional investment on both ends. Time to just let this one go.
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