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He did not get back to me about meeting up today

cae88

By cae88
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cae88 Member

cae88

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Posted (edited)

Hi everyone,

 

I have been talking to a guy I met online for about 2 months. We are both in our late 20's. Up until this point, we have been conversing occasionally through phone calls and texts, but he has expressed more than once that he would like to meet up officially.

 

We are not dating, so we don't correspond every day, but I will say that he does initiate the conversation the majority of the time (which he brought up to me one day after asking him what was wrong when I asked him how he was doing and he said 'not so good').

 

He not only expressed the fact that sometimes he feels that he has to start our convo, he also said that it seems difficult to talk to me at times, he thinks we can have a convo but then I don't converse with him fluidly and he wishes our conversations were more consistent.

 

Last week Saturday (his day off from work), he text me at around 12:30 pm, wanting to know if I wanted to meet up that day. I texted back and asked what he had in mind and told him that my car was in the garage and I would have to postpone meeting up until the week after,when the car is up and running.

 

He said ok, told me where he had in mind to meet, and said lets see how the following week (this week) goes and that he is working on Saturday (today) but he "thinks we can probably meet after". I said ok and left it there - though what he said sounded a bit wishy-washy to me and he did not notify me about the time-frame he would be leaving work.

 

The following day (last week Sunday) he text me a "see what your contacts think of you" chain message on whatsapp at 2 pm and then a little after 10 pm a 'Hello'. I was not aware when he sent the second text and I was busy the following day, so I did not get around to messaging him back. He sent another text the following day (Monday) calling me by my first name "Cae ...."

 

After that we talked a little about a show that we both watch that aired the previous day, but since then it was silence up until yesterday when he sent a video on whatsapp (something generic you would send to your contacts). He did not confirm anything for the meet up today nor did he ask about my car and whether it was out of the garage.

 

He didn't contact me at all today either (the day we were to supposedly meet up)

 

I'm not sure what to say to him if/when he does contact me again, or if I should say anything to him at all. It would have been nice if he confirmed a time either yesterday or this morning, suggesting a potential time based on his work schedule, but now I'm wondering if I'm the one at fault because I did not communicate with him, but was rather waiting to see if he would follow up?

 

He was on whatsapp up until a few minutes ago, so I think it's clear that he made other plans, but I feel that the courteous thing to do would have been to say something to me today, even if it was to say he would not be able to meet me instead of leaving me hanging.

 

Now I am wondering what to say to him if/when he does contact me tomorrow or next week.

 

What do you guys think?

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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Nowty V Established Member

Nowty V

Posted
Posted

I think he should show you some respect.

 

He needs to up his game if he wants to keep your interest.

 

Where does he show that he values you as a person?

  • Like 1
spiderowl Established Member

spiderowl

Posted
Posted

I would say don't bother with him. He's far too vague and expects you to jump and do things at the last minute. I suspect he's got a lot going on (and who knows what that is!) and is not reliable.

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cae88 Member

cae88

Posted
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Posted

Thank you Nowty V and spiderowl. Can anyone advise me on what to say if/when he contacts me?

leogirl876 Established Member

leogirl876

Posted
Posted
Thank you Nowty V and spiderowl. Can anyone advise me on what to say if/when he contacts me?

 

I'd say "look, I'm not interested in a pen pal, I'm interested in a man that takes me out on dates" and silence on your part. He'll step up to the plate or bail. If he bails, then he did you a favor!

  • Like 2
mortensorchid Established Member

mortensorchid

Posted
Posted

For two months you have been chatting and you've never met? That's the first mistake. A man who is interested will want to meet you ASAP. He's just looking for a pen pal / texting buddy and he's not that serious about you. Move on.

  • Like 4
smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
Posted

Don't say anything,,,,,,block/delete. end of.........

  • Like 3
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cae88 Member

cae88

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Still nothing from him today.

 

I'm seeing that everyone here is advising I forget about this guy and move on, which is probably the best thing

sunshine2 Established Member

sunshine2

Posted
Posted

He told you he would like you to initiate more contact. Sounds like you haven't been reaching out at all even though he told you he would like that. He is probably thinking you are not interested. I don't agree with everyone else about just walking away, I would contact him and see if he is still interested in meeting up.

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cae88 Member

cae88

Posted
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Posted
He told you he would like you to initiate more contact. Sounds like you haven't been reaching out at all even though he told you he would like that. He is probably thinking you are not interested. I don't agree with everyone else about just walking away, I would contact him and see if he is still interested in meeting up.

 

I could do that, but if the guy isn't stepping up to nail down a day and time to meet up, don't you think he is not interested enough?

hippychick3 Established Member

hippychick3

Posted
Posted
I could do that, but if the guy isn't stepping up to nail down a day and time to meet up, don't you think he is not interested enough?

 

Yes. You would be wasting your time to continue communicating with him. Online is only a MEDIUM to meet people to date. It is not a substitute for dating. The point is to meet as soon as possible (within a week at the most). Otherwise, you're wasting time and energy chatting with a stranger.

ASG Established Member

ASG

Posted
Posted

Joining my voice to everyone else's here.

 

I recently had a similar situation occur. Talked to the guy for about 3 months, then we set up a date, but with no clear plans and the day before I don't hear from him, even though I texted him. He ended up texting the day of, but by that point, I'd figured he'd flake and made other plans. I cut him off there and then.

 

Move on

  • Like 1
stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted

Why does your car being in the shop stop anything? I can never remember a date with a guy depending on MY car. He should come and pick you up and take you out.

hippychick3 Established Member

hippychick3

Posted
Posted
Why does your car being in the shop stop anything? I can never remember a date with a guy depending on MY car. He should come and pick you up and take you out.

 

I don't think it's a good idea to let a guy you meet online to come to your house and pick you up.

  • Like 1
Sweetfish Established Member

Sweetfish

Posted
Posted
Hi everyone,

 

I have been talking to a guy I met online for about 2 months. We are both in our late 20's. Up until this point, we have been conversing occasionally through phone calls and texts, but he has expressed more than once that he would like to meet up officially.

 

We are not dating, so we don't correspond every day, but I will say that he does initiate the conversation the majority of the time (which he brought up to me one day after asking him what was wrong when I asked him how he was doing and he said 'not so good').

 

He not only expressed the fact that sometimes he feels that he has to start our convo, he also said that it seems difficult to talk to me at times, he thinks we can have a convo but then I don't converse with him fluidly and he wishes our conversations were more consistent.

 

Last week Saturday (his day off from work), he text me at around 12:30 pm, wanting to know if I wanted to meet up that day. I texted back and asked what he had in mind and told him that my car was in the garage and I would have to postpone meeting up until the week after,when the car is up and running.

 

 

What do you guys think?

 

I don't know?

 

Two sides to every story..

 

Question is do you like him?

 

And why does he have to initiate the conversation all the time.

  • Like 1
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cae88 Member

cae88

Posted
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Posted (edited)

@ mortensorchid. We have met actually. I was at the mall one day back in October and he saw me. I did not see him. He called me, but before he could tell me he had seen me I told him I would call him back (I was near the front of a line trying to decide what I wanted to order to eat for myself and my mom).

 

He ended up texting me soon after to say that he was calling to say that he just saw me with my sister but he was already walking away to get something done, but if I'm interested in seeing each other we can even if it's briefly and told me he was in a store near to where I was ordering.

 

After ordering I went to the store and we meet face to face. I was a bit nervous as I have not met anyone from online before, but the meeting was quite brief. He was getting something printed there and when I asked him what he was up to for the rest of the day he said he was going to another store a few minutes away from the mall and the barber later on.

 

Later that evening he text me: 'It was good to see you today, you were as I expected....Gorgeous and seemed easy to talk to, I would love if we could meet officially one day though'. I thanked him and asked him what day he had in mind to potentially meet and he said anytime that is convenient for me. We spoke a few days after and I told him that we could meet on a Saturday.

 

@ Sweetfish. Do I like him? As of right now, I'm not sure. After experiencing heartbreak, I do realize that I have been rather guarded with my heart and my emotions. I have only been in one relationship in my life - a relationship in which I did the majority of the pursuing and initiating and despite its dysfunction it lasted many years and did not end well. I feel a bit of an amateur when it comes to relationships to be quite honest. A friend of mine told me that I have not really experienced what it feels like to be truly pursued by a guy...and I agree.

Edited by cae88
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