AMTHNK3R Posted November 5, 2016 Posted November 5, 2016 I am looking to find answers from outsiders because I feel like I'm partially in denial, partially in acceptance. My fiancée and I moved out west from the south together. We've since started a life together, got engaged, bought a home, etc. we were practically married already. We've been together six years. This year has been tough on the relationship. We were stressed over finances and other life occurrence. I was stressed because I got accepted to law schools all out of state and knew I'd be leaving. Well, as soon as I left, My fiancée called me over the phone ending things, pulled everything out of our joint account including the money we make on our rental property, and hasn't said anything since. We've spoken here and there, but nothing substantial. I asked about the rental income and she said she moved the money before I could do the same to her...I told her that I would never do that to her and that she is wrong for that. Moreover I would've never thought to do such a thing even if I would've seen this coming and wasn't blind-sided. She literally called me out of the blue because I've been gone over a month...I never thought someone would end such a serious, long-term relationship over the phone. Next, she started an OkCupid account...How could you do that after breaking off an engagement less than a month ago? I have done all of the pathetic things...begged, offered to go through couples counseling. I've even entered therapy to help me deal with being in law school, a new state where I have zero family/friends, or support. My finances have been crazy too. My first year of law school has been a nightmare. I've even had a family death to add to my problems. Did I mention I'm in law school? My life while coming together is literally falling apart. She doesn't seem to care at all. It's as if she feels she as done nothing wrong. I moved out here with her because this is where she wanted to be. It's been a little over a month now. She told me to move on, she isn't coming back because she "respects herself too much", and is trying to frame a narrative of me being an emotional abuser and manipulative. It's one thing to end a relationship, but seriously I have no clue why this is happening. I am not emotionally abusive, I've never raised a hand or even threatened or pretended to do such a thing. I have been great to her and have sacrificed a career, family, friends, etc. to be out here. Eventually we have to sit down to talk about separating things. I love her, but I'm not even sure I should want to be with someone like this. Do you think she's coming back? We haven't seen or really spoken to each other in the month leading up to this. She literally visited while I was getting settled, and called me a month after I started law school to breakup. I feel like I'm not even taking to the same person. I loved her with my entire heart. I'm not saying I'm perfect, more flowers could've been sent, more time doing thing "x" or "z", but overall I treated her like a queen. I've supported all of her career endeavors and she bailed on me when I needed her most...advice please?
ja123 Posted November 22, 2016 Posted November 22, 2016 I'm really sorry you've been treated this way. It sounds like she doesn't want to have an adult dialogue with you so you may never know why she's behaved the way she has (consider yourself lucky for not having married her) or ended the relationship. She sounds like an awful person, though, and as a law student, I'm sure you know that you better disentangle (legally!) all ties with this woman as soon as possible. You definitely don't need the extra burdens considering you're in law school and have just had a death in the family. Hang in there. Keep fighting onwards and forwards. Realize that you'll have to "break up with her, too", if only that in your mind so you can grieve and heal.
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