soph-walker Posted November 5, 2016 Posted November 5, 2016 You'd probably be able to find one of my threads in here about a guy I dated almost a year ago. To cut it short, he was someone I was hugely interested in and felt a connection with both mentally and physically. He on the other hand said he didn't want it to go further..when I asked him why, his reply was he didn't get the urge to see me in the buff. A little time passed, he got in touch to apologise for the horrid way he told me he wasn't interested and asked to meet up again, 3rd time. I was angry but gave another chance because of how interested I felt in him. He ended up telling me that I was an all rounder but he couldn't help but see me as a friend. I was pretty pissed at this point and that was that. He's texted me today a huge apologetic message saying how awful he was and how he's not met anyone like me and that he was involved casually with someone that ended being a messy situation and he felt very attracted to me but he was keeping me at arms length. I've told him to basically f*ck off in so many words but in all honesty I'd love to see him again. I've been on more dates than I can count since, but not one of them has captivated my interest the way he did. Did I do the right thing? 1
MidwestUSA Posted November 5, 2016 Posted November 5, 2016 By telling him to f$ck off? Yes. Now don't back down based on that 'I'd love to see him again'. Have some standards. His apologies are a huge load of horse crap. 11
Author soph-walker Posted November 5, 2016 Author Posted November 5, 2016 By telling him to f$ck off? Yes. Now don't back down based on that 'I'd love to see him again'. Have some standards. His apologies are a huge load of horse crap. I said that to him (I think he's full of bull and how dare he contact me and who does he think he is!) I'm not going to see him though, I'm not a fool. There's a small percentage of me wondering if he's realised the error of his ways and after unsuccessfully trying to move on from me, hasn't been able to. 1
thecrucible Posted November 6, 2016 Posted November 6, 2016 He's pretty uncouth. Imagine him in other social situations. He doesn't sound like a gentleman. 1
Author soph-walker Posted November 6, 2016 Author Posted November 6, 2016 He's pretty uncouth. Imagine him in other social situations. He doesn't sound like a gentleman. He said he was embarrassed and ashamed. I don't doubt he regrets his behaviour, but why do guys think they can come back to you with an apology and all is forgiven? It baffles me. 1
darkmoon Posted November 6, 2016 Posted November 6, 2016 if he is not in love, then watch out, if he is, he must prove it, up to him how i think you might just want what you can not have, forbidden fruit and all that 1
Author soph-walker Posted November 6, 2016 Author Posted November 6, 2016 if he is not in love, then watch out, if he is, he must prove it, up to him how i think you might just want what you can not have, forbidden fruit and all that It certainly wouldn't be a case of love, we only had a few dates and he was so emotionally distant, which boils down to the fact he was physically involving himself with another lady 1
Gaeta Posted November 6, 2016 Posted November 6, 2016 He said he was embarrassed and ashamed. I don't doubt he regrets his behaviour, but why do guys think they can come back to you with an apology and all is forgiven? It baffles me. He has no regrets. If he had regrets he would apologize and accept he does not deserve you after the way he treated you and you deserve better than him. He only apologized because he knew it was the only way you'd reply to him. He contacted you both times because he was bored, had nothing better happening, when through his phone and said: OH I know soph-walker has a soft for me, lets see how much entertainment I can get out of her. 2
Author soph-walker Posted November 6, 2016 Author Posted November 6, 2016 He has no regrets. If he had regrets he would apologize and accept he does not deserve you after the way he treated you and you deserve better than him. He only apologized because he knew it was the only way you'd reply to him. He contacted you both times because he was bored, had nothing better happening, when through his phone and said: OH I know soph-walker has a soft for me, lets see how much entertainment I can get out of her. Thank you for your post Gaeta, you always give good advice. He showed himself to be an ass hole so it's a no go really. I don't think I would hear from him again now I told him to leave me alone and that I am not interested. Too little too late. 2
Arieswoman Posted November 6, 2016 Posted November 6, 2016 s-w Did I do the right thing? Yes x 1000 You deserve better and I think deep down you know that.... 1
Art_Critic Posted November 6, 2016 Posted November 6, 2016 All he wants is to get his noodle wet, don't allow him this chance to disrespect you in the manner he is getting ready to. Good for you for sticking to your guns and telling him to eff off, now make it permanent and don't let him engage in any conversation that will allow him to woo your panties off you since his intentions are not honorable and he will hurt you. 1
Author soph-walker Posted November 6, 2016 Author Posted November 6, 2016 All he wants is to get his noodle wet, don't allow him this chance to disrespect you in the manner he is getting ready to. Good for you for sticking to your guns and telling him to eff off, now make it permanent and don't let him engage in any conversation that will allow him to woo your panties off you since his intentions are not honorable and he will hurt you. If im being honest, I cud easily sleep with him and not feel a thing. I feel like I need to get it out my system bc of the way I fancied him. I sound like I'm talking myself round but I'm just thinking out loud thats all 1
Satu Posted November 6, 2016 Posted November 6, 2016 I wouldn't bother telling him to f$ck off. I'd just block him on everything forever. If he treated you in such a crass manner once, its almost certain that he'd do it again. Take care. 1
Logo Posted November 7, 2016 Posted November 7, 2016 He said he was embarrassed and ashamed. I don't doubt he regrets his behaviour, but why do guys think they can come back to you with an apology and all is forgiven? It baffles me. Women do that too. It baffles me too.
Toodaloo Posted November 7, 2016 Posted November 7, 2016 Did I do the right thing? Yes you did. How do I know this? Because this guy is feeling bored and lonely and only got in touch to stroke his ego. (Logo its why women do it as well). It has nothing to do with his interest in you and everything to do with him using you to feel better about himself. It would still go no where even if you did meet up for a date again. All it does is make you waste your time and head space on a guy that just isn't worth it. Good on you! Go get the guy that IS interested in you and will not treat you like this.
Miss Clavel Posted November 7, 2016 Posted November 7, 2016 To cut it short, he was someone I was hugely interested in and felt a connection with both mentally and physically. He on the other hand said he didn't want it to go further..when I asked him why, his reply was he didn't get the urge to see me in the buff. first he didn't, now he does? what happens if you give in to his urge and the first urge comes back? how long before he gets the urge to see someone else in the buff? think it thru. after you get buffed by him, it will be way more painful when he buffs off. getting rejected by a man with an appalling lack of imagination not to mention basic manners, before you take your clothes off is painful. after, it will rise from the level of painful to one of humiliation. what's he going to say after? ya, no? thanks but no thanks? tell him you're sorry, you don't have time for someone that isn't attracted to you. because, try as we might, we either are or we are not. no amount of trying will change it. block him.
Author soph-walker Posted November 7, 2016 Author Posted November 7, 2016 first he didn't, now he does? what happens if you give in to his urge and the first urge comes back? how long before he gets the urge to see someone else in the buff? think it thru. after you get buffed by him, it will be way more painful when he buffs off. getting rejected by a man with an appalling lack of imagination not to mention basic manners, before you take your clothes off is painful. after, it will rise from the level of painful to one of humiliation. what's he going to say after? ya, no? thanks but no thanks? tell him you're sorry, you don't have time for someone that isn't attracted to you. because, try as we might, we either are or we are not. no amount of trying will change it. block him. He messaged me again today asking to meet up and how sorry he felt. I haven't sent a msg back and I wont. I dont want to block him as I wouldnt want to give him the satisfaction. Got no urge to ever speak to him again so he can suck it up and waste his time messaging me if he wants to. Its pretty sh*t tho knowing that I havent met a guy I liked like the way I was into him. And not cuz he was an arsehole to me just when he genuinely talked about his interests and family etc. Ive been focussing on myself and my friends and family keeping myself busy until I meet the right kind of person for me.
Gaeta Posted November 7, 2016 Posted November 7, 2016 He messaged me again today asking to meet up and how sorry he felt. I haven't sent a msg back and I wont. I dont want to block him as I wouldnt want to give him the satisfaction. Explain to me how blocking him would be giving him satisfaction? I think you like his attention that's why you don't block him. And if he insists enough you'll see him again. Then you'll be on here asking why you only meet players.
SpiralOut Posted November 7, 2016 Posted November 7, 2016 I would just tell him that you forgive him but that you don't want to see him again and to please stop messaging you. He sees you as his backup that he can go to when he is in-between relationships.
Author soph-walker Posted November 7, 2016 Author Posted November 7, 2016 Explain to me how blocking him would be giving him satisfaction? I think you like his attention that's why you don't block him. And if he insists enough you'll see him again. Then you'll be on here asking why you only meet players. Ouch. For him to msg and receive not receive any sort of reply ever again would be frustrating for him and possibly a little bit annoying. I havent got the wish to see him again at all.wild dogs couldnt drag me to him. I can still think he is v v good looking and physically attractive as a man, that for me is something on it's own
Gaeta Posted November 7, 2016 Posted November 7, 2016 Ouch. For him to msg and receive not receive any sort of reply ever again would be frustrating for him and possibly a little bit annoying. I havent got the wish to see him again at all.wild dogs couldnt drag me to him. I can still think he is v v good looking and physically attractive as a man, that for me is something on it's own Again, how would it be giving him satisfaction to block him? He is attractive so what? Because he's good looking you'll let him treat you like dirt? More you interact with him less he has respect for you.
Author soph-walker Posted November 7, 2016 Author Posted November 7, 2016 Again, how would it be giving him satisfaction to block him? He is attractive so what? Because he's good looking you'll let him treat you like dirt? More you interact with him less he has respect for you. Im thinking you wouldnt say that if u had read the msg I sent to him telling him some home truths. I definitely did not hold back on my thoughts of him. I can still think some guy is good looking-it doesnt mean I will let him treat me like dirt, I already said im not in contact with him and dont have any intention to speak to him ever bc its the same sh*tty story. By not blocking him I'm getting the satisfaction of knowing hes trying a stupid attempt to see me again, he can taste his own medecine.
Gaeta Posted November 7, 2016 Posted November 7, 2016 Im thinking you wouldnt say that if u had read the msg I sent to him telling him some home truths. I definitely did not hold back on my thoughts of him. I can still think some guy is good looking-it doesnt mean I will let him treat me like dirt, I already said im not in contact with him and dont have any intention to speak to him ever bc its the same sh*tty story. By not blocking him I'm getting the satisfaction of knowing hes trying a stupid attempt to see me again, he can taste his own medecine. You said you did not want to block him to not give him this satisfaction. Your words, not mine. Turns out you don't want to block him because you want to give yourself the satisfaction of knowing he is chasing you. That is exactly what I had said. You don't block him because you enjoy his attention.
Author soph-walker Posted November 7, 2016 Author Posted November 7, 2016 You said you did not want to block him to not give him this satisfaction. Your words, not mine. Turns out you don't want to block him because you want to give yourself the satisfaction of knowing he is chasing you. That is exactly what I had said. You don't block him because you enjoy his attention. So youre thinking that my indifference to him sending any future msgs is actually me enjoying the attention. It could be seen that way, or it could be seen as letting him waste his own time and me not doing anything about it or even bothering to interact. Ever. I dont want to give him the satisfaction of blocking him as this is a game he has played before, blocking and unblocking every now and then which is no doubt how he would see it. As a game. Onto the next one!
Gaeta Posted November 7, 2016 Posted November 7, 2016 So youre thinking that my indifference to him sending any future msgs is actually me enjoying the attention. It could be seen that way, or it could be seen as letting him waste his own time and me not doing anything about it or even bothering to interact. Ever. I dont want to give him the satisfaction of blocking him as this is a game he has played before, blocking and unblocking every now and then which is no doubt how he would see it. As a game. Onto the next one! You are not indifferent to him. If you were you would block him and not even have a thread about him. When we're indifferent we don't have time to play silly little games or time for revenge. You said it yourself, you find him attractive and he turned your blood and still does. That is not being indifferent. You block him indefinitely and move on with your life. How is that playing games? If you are indifferent as you say then why would you unblock him? You need to be honest with yourself. I have been in your shoes. I have had the hots for players before. It thrilled me that a hot guy was chasing me, even if he was a player. If a hot guy goes through all this trouble to chase me than I must be hot myself. I found some type of validation through it all. The difference between you and I is that I am old enough and mature enough to admit it to myself.
Recommended Posts