Thoughts on what my ex (27F) is doing with new guy (22M)? I'm a 23M

[Filthyfrank93]

Hiya, so I'd like to start from the beginning of all this. It was October 3rd and me and my girlfriend argued for what seemed like the 100th time over another stupid thing. I, instead of addressing the problem, I ran away from the relationship, breaking up with her. I shouldn't have done it, but my energy and passion for these arguments has slowly worn away to the point I just wanted to escape. Anyway we didn't talk for the next 3 weeks or so ,apart from once on the 10th (which was more finalising that the relationship was over), and a couple of times whereby I asked her friend and her mum If she was ok. On the 24th I finally decide to message her , thinking maybe we could wipe the slate clean and start again, but after talking for a while it comes to my attention that she has been seeing a guy for the last two weeks. She tells me how this guy does everything that I did wrong and how she cares for me but no longer loves me. She tells me she fancies this guy. I am completely shocked . How can someone move on that fast ? I can't even comprehend the possibility of dating a girl seriously, But she's going on dates with this guy and cuddling and kissing this bloke, telling me she's all loved up. Ive cried down the phone to her. I've texted her loads asking for her to try again with me, telling her I feel completely different about our relationship etc. I genuinely feel this way, like a new man. She tells me that she doesn't want to try and is the happiest she has ever been, saying how she was miserable in our relationship, even though she said I was the best boyfriend that she has ever had multiple times, and that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. Let this be known that the fact she has "moved on" has no bearing on the fact I want her back. I messaged her initially to try and work things out before even learning of him. Of course her outlook on all of this had changed so fast , and she does seem to really like this guy, but is it just a rebound ? Is it just a way of getting to me ? Yesterday I finally stopped messaging her and left her to it, as no matter how hard I try she doesn't want to try again. She says she cares how I am, but that's as far as her feelings go. I'm trying to move on but her friend tonight posted on her Snapchat story a picture of my ex and this guy smiling next to each other, looking all cute, with a love heart as the caption . A similar thing happened before when we had broken up in the past , but she put on her story my ex dancing with some dude in a nightclub.

 

I have a couple of questions I would like answered if possible.

 

Is this guy a rebound and has she really moved on already, in less than 3 weeks? She does claim she really likes this guy and says he does everything I failed to do ?

 

Do you think there's any hope with me and my ex ? I have tried my hardest but most sources I have read tell me to leave it and let her come to that decision herself.

 

Is this broadcasting of them together with a loveheart a deliberate attempt at making me jealous ?

 

What should I do now ?

 

Now we have argued In the past before but we almost always make up in the end stronger than ever, this is also the longest breakup we have had aswell , the longest one before that being just under two weeks .

 

We have been together just under two years , and our relationship has been up and down, but we have loved each other so much. I fight because I remember how much we love each other, but she claims she doesn't.

 

I really love this girl so so much and would do anything to make her mine again, but it realise those feelings must be reciprocated.

 

I can give more information if need be. Thanks for the help x

 

TL;DR - Broke up with girlfriend , regretted it, now she is loved up with another guy less than 3 weeks later, and doesn't want to try again with me.

[lae]

IF you truly loved someone, then you don't move on in 3 weeks.

Either she did not love you or she is using the guy as a rebound.

 

But to be honest, I could not move on this quickly from someone I loved.

My breakup was 6 weeks ago, and I can't even imagine being with someone else.

[Frozensushi]

You have asked so many questions that only your Ex knows the answers to. You broke up with her and she's got a stranglehold on your emotions. It sounds like you and her had a turbulent relationship. You broke up with her for a reason and that reason is still going to be there when you return.

 

I broke up/made up with my Ex over 15 times. Each time I thought the R/S was getting stronger. It wasn't, quite the opposite in fact. You have to take a long hard look at why you two kept breaking up. A couple in a healthy relationship don't break up and they certainly don't start dating someone within weeks of a breakup.

 

Yes, the new guy is a rebound. I would go NC. You are only going to be tortured seeing her weekly activities with her new guy. Just walk away man. I know you have history with your Ex, but she's obviously moved on.

[ExpatInItaly]

It's a fallacy that couples who argue a lot somehow come through it stronger than ever. They don't. It is very damaging, which you're now seeing.

 

If a relationship is filled with arguing (which yours was, based on your description) and there had been break-ups before, it's a clear sign that you two do not work together.

 

It's impossible to say if this other guy is a rebound. Perhaps they've known each other a while, longer than you think they have. In any event, it doesn't really matter. The key hear is that what you two had doesn't sound like it was very healthy. Yes, there were good moments. But that simply cannot overshadow the fact that there seems to have been a lot of turmoil, which eventually wore you both down.

 

I doubt she is broadcasting him to make you jealous. If she is, however, she is very immature and not in a healthy frame of mind to be in any relationship.

 

Don't contact her any further. You will, in time, probably realize you weren't happy with her anyway and it's better that you are no longer in an unhappy relationship.

[Chief1970]

You can't know somebody in 2 weeks. I wouldn't chase her. She's 27 and I'm sure most of her friends are married by now. If she can't find mr right, she appears to have settled for mr available.

[Marc878]

You need to learn from this and move on. You should own 50% a relationship. When you initiate a breakup with some one don't expect a second chance.

 

Go dark

[CupCakess]

Hiya, so I'd like to start from the beginning of all this. It was October 3rd and me and my girlfriend argued for what seemed like the 100th time over another stupid thing. I, instead of addressing the problem, I ran away from the relationship, breaking up with her. I shouldn't have done it, but my energy and passion for these arguments has slowly worn away to the point I just wanted to escape. Anyway we didn't talk for the next 3 weeks or so ,apart from once on the 10th (which was more finalising that the relationship was over), and a couple of times whereby I asked her friend and her mum If she was ok. On the 24th I finally decide to message her , thinking maybe we could wipe the slate clean and start again, but after talking for a while it comes to my attention that she has been seeing a guy for the last two weeks. She tells me how this guy does everything that I did wrong and how she cares for me but no longer loves me. She tells me she fancies this guy. I am completely shocked . How can someone move on that fast ? I can't even comprehend the possibility of dating a girl seriously, But she's going on dates with this guy and cuddling and kissing this bloke, telling me she's all loved up. Ive cried down the phone to her. I've texted her loads asking for her to try again with me, telling her I feel completely different about our relationship etc. I genuinely feel this way, like a new man. She tells me that she doesn't want to try and is the happiest she has ever been, saying how she was miserable in our relationship, even though she said I was the best boyfriend that she has ever had multiple times, and that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. Let this be known that the fact she has "moved on" has no bearing on the fact I want her back. I messaged her initially to try and work things out before even learning of him. Of course her outlook on all of this had changed so fast , and she does seem to really like this guy, but is it just a rebound ? Is it just a way of getting to me ? Yesterday I finally stopped messaging her and left her to it, as no matter how hard I try she doesn't want to try again. She says she cares how I am, but that's as far as her feelings go. I'm trying to move on but her friend tonight posted on her Snapchat story a picture of my ex and this guy smiling next to each other, looking all cute, with a love heart as the caption . A similar thing happened before when we had broken up in the past , but she put on her story my ex dancing with some dude in a nightclub.

 

I have a couple of questions I would like answered if possible.

 

Is this guy a rebound and has she really moved on already, in less than 3 weeks? She does claim she really likes this guy and says he does everything I failed to do ?

 

Do you think there's any hope with me and my ex ? I have tried my hardest but most sources I have read tell me to leave it and let her come to that decision herself.

 

Is this broadcasting of them together with a loveheart a deliberate attempt at making me jealous ?

 

What should I do now ?

 

Now we have argued In the past before but we almost always make up in the end stronger than ever, this is also the longest breakup we have had aswell , the longest one before that being just under two weeks .

 

We have been together just under two years , and our relationship has been up and down, but we have loved each other so much. I fight because I remember how much we love each other, but she claims she doesn't.

 

I really love this girl so so much and would do anything to make her mine again, but it realise those feelings must be reciprocated.

 

I can give more information if need be. Thanks for the help x

 

TL;DR - Broke up with girlfriend , regretted it, now she is loved up with another guy less than 3 weeks later, and doesn't want to try again with me.

 

To be honest the guy does seem like a rebound to me, considering that you decided to end the relationship, and now she is suddenly "in love" (?) again in no time. Seems to me like compensation.

 

Whether you have a chance or not, really depends on the situation. Has she done this before with previous relationships? as in, starting a relationship right away after breaking up with someone --- this could just indicate a pattern that she needs to be in a relationship, which would lead to the assumption that the guy is indeed a rebound. Do you know her previous dating history?

 

Also the guy is rather younger than her (so are you), maybe she likes younger guys that are more easily manipulated? (just a thought).

[Youaretragic]

Well filthyfrank93 isn't this an interesting read! I'm not sure how you've stumbled across this love shack website but I think it speaks volumes about how much time you've got on your hands assuming you don't have a job now your (27F) girlfriend isn't around to pick you up and drop you off like she's your mum Even when she would offer to pick you up but you would decide to walk midnight moonlight home instead..but anyway! Isn't it convenient how it seems to have escaped your memory that you used to be unable to go a month without dumping your girlfriend, leaving her devastated on a regular basis, giving her appealing abuse when she tries to move on and then clicking your fingers and getting her back when you've had your fun and you feel like it? You've neglected to mention that you have called her a 'pedo' and threatened to post naked pictures of her over the internet if she doesn't get back with you, that's convenient isn't it! She has been spending time with someone who is trying to make her happy, you've got a case of the green eyed monster so you've posted on an Internet forum called 'love shack' to seek reassurance from strangers that you're not a deluded, nasty little boy who hasn't got his own way so he's throwing his toys out of the pram. Didn't you refer to this situation as a game?? Well I think this is enough evidence that you're well and truly losing this one! So my thoughts would be, seek professional help filthyfrank!!!

[Redhead14]

Hiya, so I'd like to start from the beginning of all this. It was October 3rd and me and my girlfriend argued for what seemed like the 100th time over another stupid thing. I, instead of addressing the problem, I ran away from the relationship, breaking up with her. I shouldn't have done it, but my energy and passion for these arguments has slowly worn away to the point I just wanted to escape. Anyway we didn't talk for the next 3 weeks or so ,apart from once on the 10th (which was more finalising that the relationship was over), and a couple of times whereby I asked her friend and her mum If she was ok. On the 24th I finally decide to message her , thinking maybe we could wipe the slate clean and start again, but after talking for a while it comes to my attention that she has been seeing a guy for the last two weeks. She tells me how this guy does everything that I did wrong and how she cares for me but no longer loves me. She tells me she fancies this guy. I am completely shocked . How can someone move on that fast ? I can't even comprehend the possibility of dating a girl seriously, But she's going on dates with this guy and cuddling and kissing this bloke, telling me she's all loved up. Ive cried down the phone to her. I've texted her loads asking for her to try again with me, telling her I feel completely different about our relationship etc. I genuinely feel this way, like a new man. She tells me that she doesn't want to try and is the happiest she has ever been, saying how she was miserable in our relationship, even though she said I was the best boyfriend that she has ever had multiple times, and that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. Let this be known that the fact she has "moved on" has no bearing on the fact I want her back. I messaged her initially to try and work things out before even learning of him. Of course her outlook on all of this had changed so fast , and she does seem to really like this guy, but is it just a rebound ? Is it just a way of getting to me ? Yesterday I finally stopped messaging her and left her to it, as no matter how hard I try she doesn't want to try again. She says she cares how I am, but that's as far as her feelings go. I'm trying to move on but her friend tonight posted on her Snapchat story a picture of my ex and this guy smiling next to each other, looking all cute, with a love heart as the caption . A similar thing happened before when we had broken up in the past , but she put on her story my ex dancing with some dude in a nightclub.

 

I have a couple of questions I would like answered if possible.

 

Is this guy a rebound and has she really moved on already, in less than 3 weeks? She does claim she really likes this guy and says he does everything I failed to do ?

 

Do you think there's any hope with me and my ex ? I have tried my hardest but most sources I have read tell me to leave it and let her come to that decision herself.

 

Is this broadcasting of them together with a loveheart a deliberate attempt at making me jealous ?

 

What should I do now ?

 

Now we have argued In the past before but we almost always make up in the end stronger than ever, this is also the longest breakup we have had aswell , the longest one before that being just under two weeks .

 

We have been together just under two years , and our relationship has been up and down, but we have loved each other so much. I fight because I remember how much we love each other, but she claims she doesn't.

 

I really love this girl so so much and would do anything to make her mine again, but it realise those feelings must be reciprocated.

 

I can give more information if need be. Thanks for the help x

 

TL;DR - Broke up with girlfriend , regretted it, now she is loved up with another guy less than 3 weeks later, and doesn't want to try again with me.

 

she is loved up with another guy less than 3 weeks later, - I have to wonder if she wasn't seeing him before the break up which explains how she can move on so quickly . . .

 

Beyond that possibility, she's able to move on quickly because she simply wasn't as attached to you as you seem to think or that she said she was . . .

 

It's over. Keep moving.

[Filthyfrank93]

Really appreciate all of you coming on here and taking your time to reply with helpful messages. I have tried to take on all your advice, and hopefully in the future I will feel better about it all, the worst has come I guess.

 

Keep on helping helpers