BC1980 Posted November 9, 2016 Posted November 9, 2016 If you're in a new relationship and it's going great, you aren't 'bored' and don't need to see if you have power over your ex. Unless you're either in a rebound relationship or it's not going well. None if us can get into her head, but I think you have to ask yourself why you care so much. Maybe that is the bigger question.
Lovejunkie81 Posted November 9, 2016 Posted November 9, 2016 I'd contacted my ex on another time that we split up, even though I'd started seeing someone else. Part of me was wanting validation, but also I just couldn't stop thinking about him. It was a bit of a dance for a few days but then he said he'd do anything to make it work/another chance, so I dumped the other guy and we got back together. Truth was I did like the other guy, but I didn't love him, not like how I loved my ex.
LonelyInsomniac Posted December 1, 2016 Posted December 1, 2016 The First ex: I had feelings for her, bad. She manipulated me into thinking I was paranoid and that she hadn't been cheating on me, and that I had grievously wronged her by asking if she was (yet again). Found out (later) that she was, and yet she was still hitting on me. Stopped replying to her because she was making demands and acting like I still owed her something. This is the one I've probably Googled the most, just because she ****ed with my head so badly. At first it was romantically motivated, but after I found out she cheated? I wanted to see how long the other main interest lasted. The one that got elevated to main interest has no value for reality and readily conforms to her lies. He's also a bit of a douchebag. They were made for each other. 2nd ex talk We broke up on amicable terms despite her cheating on me. It was more impulsive than anything, and we weren't a great match to begin with. Can't remember if I was still interested in her (I was single at the time), or if I was just looking for a friend to talk to. I care about her and wish her well, but it was never love. 3rd time I talked to an ex Still felt an obligation to talk to her immediately after the break-up. She was abusive and regularly cheated on me, and then [falsely] accused me of cheating on her when we broke up. Broke up over text when she turned the conversation into all about her when I'd just lost my job and was straddling homelessness. By this point I'd built up a decent amount of callous. Got snarky at her and told her to buzz off for a couple of years when she yet again tried to manipulate me into feeling bad for leaving her. (She got married like 7 months afterward.) Contacted her over a unique factor in both our lives to get a question answered. No interest in getting back together here: the happiest times of my life with her in it were the two times I broke up (I know, should've only been once). There was literally no one else to ask. Got question answered. She pretended not to remember who I was, which was good for a laugh. Fiance knows. Hell, fiance knows I've occasionally Googled exes just to see how far I've come. We're open books with each other.
Survivor12 Posted December 1, 2016 Posted December 1, 2016 If you're in a new relationship and it's going great, you aren't 'bored' and don't need to see if you have power over your ex. Unless you're either in a rebound relationship or it's not going well. Or if she isn't getting the attention she wants from her new bf & needs the ego boost. Just because the relationship may not be perfect doesn't mean that she doesn't want it to be.
Bromeo Posted December 1, 2016 Posted December 1, 2016 If I may, It truly depends on the circumstances of the breakup. Clear communication rules the day on recontacting. I have had relationships that just faded away, and I've contacted them, and they have contacted me. Both have happened, and we reconnected, if only for a short time. One asked if my travel had slowed down, and we got back together. The other I contacted, because honestly she was so beautiful I had to. lol One ex contacted me after 10 years, wanted me to leave my then wife, and she would leave her 5 kids, and we would run away. Right.... This most recent breakup? Read my thread for the bs there. I chased her for months, and finally went NC. Broke that after a month, she dogged me, then sent me love songs. Finally I have enough stones to go NC for sure this time. Difference here was no clear communication from her whatsoever. It sucks to say, but it depends.
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