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She's asking for space, but doesn't want to stop talking...what do I do?


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Posted (edited)

I started talking to my girl about 7 months ago. We are both 27. She was really into me from the beginning, while I wanted to take it slow as I was just getting out of a serious relationship.

But the more I talked to her, the more I started to like her.

Eventually we were spending almost every single day together and texting all day long.

 

In the last month she started being really stressed out because of family drama (mom and sister moved back in with her, sister has problems going on in her marriage) which led to some distance between me and my girl. This made me frustrated and yes, I may have acted a bit possessive with her, questioning what she was doing and who she was with more than once. Eventually she started asking for space, but still didn't want to stop talking. I tried to fight back trying to find a solution but she kept saying she needs time and space.

 

The last few times we hung out we always talked about what's going on between us. I was trying to get some clarity because I feel like I'm in a limbo. I told her that either she wants to be with me or not...but she says she's in the middle and doesn't know what she wants. She says she needs time to figure out what she really wants, but at the same time doesn't want me to "leave her alone while she's trying to figure this out". I told her to clearly tell me if she doesn't think it can work out again between us and if she doesn't have feelings anymore, but she got a bit upset saying that "it's almost like you want me to say that to you, because it seems like you're in a rush to go out there to meet other people". I told her that's not what I'm trying to do. Just want some clarity.

 

I haven't seen her in a week, and the last few days we have barely texted. I texted her "good morning, hope you have a good day" a few times in the last few days, and let her reach out to me throughout the day.

But yesterday I didn't text, and she didn't text me either. First day we didn't talk.

 

What should I do? Do I stop contacting her at all, letting her reach out to me? Or do I text her occasionally just to show I'm there for her?

I'm just worried that if we stop talking, she'll start forgetting about me.

Edited by randomtx88
Posted
What should I do? Do I stop contacting her at all, letting her reach out to me? Or do I text her occasionally just to show I'm there for her?

I'm just worried that if we stop talking, she'll start forgetting about me.

 

She might really be going through a difficult time right now. She could also be losing attraction towards you.

 

What you need to do is let her know where you stand. You should have said, "I don't want to take a break, but if you need time for yourself then give me a call when you figure things out." Then you walk away and don't look back.

 

Stop texting/calling. When a woman says she needs space, give it to her. Don't contact at all. She doesn't want to see or talk to you. When you continue to pursue her you act needy and desperate which will re-enforce to her she made the right decision. Just respect her wishes and leave her alone.

 

She will miss you more if she no longer has you in her life. Trust me, show wont forget you.

  • Like 1
Posted

This is the same girl from your other thread, I gather?

  • Author
Posted
This is the same girl from your other thread, I gather?

 

Yes, sorry for posting again. Her mixed signals confuse me so much.

Posted

Eventually we were spending almost every single day together and texting all day long[...]

 

 

 

She says she needs time to figure out what she really wants, but at the same time doesn't want me to "leave her alone while she's trying to figure this out".[...]

 

I haven't seen her in a week, and the last few days we have barely texted. I texted her "good morning, hope you have a good day" a few times in the last few days, and let her reach out to me throughout the day.[...]

 

What should I do?

 

 

Well, well my friend. Looks like this girl is playing a childish game with you called "I don't know what I want, but don't leave until I find out". Look, the more you try, the more you push her away from you. Don't be that weak, clingy and pathetic guy who's running after a doubtful girl. If she has her doubts, let her have them and just LEAVE it. I'm telling you, it's for your best. I've been in this situation several times and everytime I was chasing after a girl it would only push her away even more. But once I actually went NC right after a break-up(which happened because of "fuguring herself out" which eventually turned up to be another man :) )

 

There is no such thing as "break" or "I need to figure myself out" or "I don't know what I want". Let her have her doubts and just simply don't contact her. You're 27, you're a mature guy. You have your own things to do. Just do them, focus on yourself and leave that girl alone(at least untill she knows what she wants). Talking face to face or even texting with her at this point is the worst thing to do. It will only push her away.

 

And trust me, I can understand family drama(my family ain't perfect) but don't let her play this game with you. Show that you're strong and leave this.

Well, at least for now.

 

I'll take my chances and say it..Look, maybe there's another guy in it? :) Because she's obviously keeping you around for a reason. Maybe there is somebody else she's chatting with, or somebody hitting on her, but boy, she can't just tell you about it so she's keeping you around until she find out what that guy really wants. It's only my presumption, don't get me wrong! But when a girl is "figuring herself out" then it might mean there's somebody else around.

 

Well, good luck. Do not contact her, live your life. Keeping my thumbs ;)

Posted

She has asked for space so give it to her! She is having everything on her terms and not really thinking about you! You should go NC give her the space and let her make the move if she wants you back. I know it's difficult but trust me she will be missing you and she won't forget you in a hurry. If she says she wants you back great, if it's just bread crumbs don't even respond!

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