PrincessWarrior1 Posted November 5, 2016 Posted November 5, 2016 (edited) I've been with my ex on and off for a little over 3 years. I ended it and went NC after the last time. I spent an entire weeks paycheck in a day between the uber to pick him up, breakfast at IHOP, the liquor store, and gave him $80 so he wouldn't have to worry about time away from a mechanic job he was suppose to do and the guy not paying him. When he left I felt so devastated, hurt, and used. One, the fact I gave him money and he wasn't really affectionate with me like he used to be. Two he can't even text or answer a text without being a jerk to me. It would take nothing for him to ease my mind and let me know he cares or reciprocate affection. I keep learning how skanky his "family" and friends are. The people he spends a lot of time with and/or lives with. Ok so I'm starting to feel better after a little over a month of NC. I just rewarded myself by taking myself and my 11 year old daughter to get our nails done at the mall. I also bought myself a nice little 10kt gold ring. We haven't had sex in over a month but got into a pretty bad fight 2 weeks ago over the phone. He was all "lose my number (cword)" Then I get a text saying "Yo so what's up little lady?????" I smiled that he was being nice and respectful maybe thought about things. Then the next night it's Yo (B-word You want (disrespectful sex talk). Plus I could hear him talking to whoever and talking about a broad standing across the street or something of that nature and when asked of course he probably lied. I'm concluding it may have been someone the swinger guy met off a fetish website or who knows?? I can't deal with that stuff running around in my head. I'm against all that immoral stuff and I can't be part of it, especially having unprotected sex with someone who I loved and thought loved me. Anyway this morning I realized that my health (Emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually) is more important than seeing him or at the very most he has to be condomized. We have nothing special and he can't be trusted. I sent him a text explaining all this that I broke NC (by responding and considering) and that I learned the hard way a few times with him and I will not be devastated after the fact. I think maybe I should just go out after work. Thank goodness I got called in. That's more money and more distraction. I think I should just continue to take care of myself and treat myself. I think I'll feel a whole lot better. I wanted him to regret everything and I think enforcing boundaries and morals and walking away is the only way. I pray all the time for God's protection and wisdom. And right now I'm thankful that my ex was foolish enough to give himself away like that. He could have been more sneaky about it but it was nope.. all upfront for me to move out of the way. I really loved him too and invested so much. I forgave him countless times. Sorry it's so long, thanks for reading and I tried to make it less painful by making paragraphs so it's not such a wall of text. I just couldn't really explain without.. .. telling the story. Thanks again LoveShack friends. I could not have come this far without you all. Edited November 5, 2016 by PrincessWarrior1
ja123 Posted November 22, 2016 Posted November 22, 2016 Anytime you are doubting your decision think of this:"We have nothing special and he can't be trusted." You said it and it's true. NC is the best way to go, and you've probably looked at the no-contact guide in the coping section. As for you and your next relationship, you might want to start asking yourself why you give so much and receive so little in return and allow yourself to be disrespected. Is it codependency? It's good that you are taking good care of you and your daughter and spoiling yourselves ... that'll help with the breakup. Also, check out the w e b s it e baggagereclaim. It's pretty amazing and empowering to read! 2
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