BAcK Posted November 5, 2016 Posted November 5, 2016 Hello LS, Well honestly am in a complete mess right now. In spite of all the warnings i broke the NC rule after one month and i am already regretting it as hell. She responded to me quite indifferently and also seemed uninterested. The worst i could have done was to ask her to meet up someday and it was not surprise that she turned me down rather blatantly and i stopped all communication right away and blocked her everywhere. From what i've learned, she is back with her ex bf which was not a big surprise and to be honest i am not as hurt as i thought i would be but still it was a setback towards regaining my emotional stability. What i've learned from all this is to NEVER break the NC rule and whatever the ex does or does not do, is completely out of our control and the past is better left in the past. However, i now understand that when you are the rebound guy, the ex gf never loved you and i am using this fact as a means to move on completely. It might sound vengeful but somewhere i want them to break up so that she experiences the pain she put me into. Your opinions would be the most welcomed. 5
Kelley Posted November 5, 2016 Posted November 5, 2016 You have learned a valuable lesson never break NC. Sometimes you just have to experience why to never do it again, lesson learned for you. Back to NC, moving on and healing! 1
umirano Posted November 5, 2016 Posted November 5, 2016 I'll send people who want to break NC to this thread. Breaking NC has no benefit. Only more hurt and set backs. Move on, never break NC again. Good luck! 1
Author BAcK Posted November 5, 2016 Author Posted November 5, 2016 I'll send people who want to break NC to this thread. Breaking NC has no benefit. Only more hurt and set backs. Move on, never break NC again. Good luck! I would be very happy if this thread might help other people avoiding the silly mistake i committed. Honestly, once you feel avoided never contact the person again. I really had to experience this to really understand the magnitude of this concept. Time is the greatest healer and the wheel is turning, just let karma do its work. 1
PLT Posted November 5, 2016 Posted November 5, 2016 Thank you. Today I have been seriously considering breaking NC. Thanks for reminding me that no good can come from it. I've been breaking NC for a year, we were on/off so much that it's almost programmed in me. Breaking that cycle is tough. But I haven't seen her since August and haven't had any contact at all with her since the end of September.
Author BAcK Posted November 5, 2016 Author Posted November 5, 2016 Thank you. Today I have been seriously considering breaking NC. Thanks for reminding me that no good can come from it. I've been breaking NC for a year, we were on/off so much that it's almost programmed in me. Breaking that cycle is tough. But I haven't seen her since August and haven't had any contact at all with her since the end of September. I am in a similar situation mate. But this time i will stick to NC no matter what happens. The reason why 'we' tend to break the NC is simply because subconsciously we expect them to be kind to us and maybe also get back together. I broke the NC because i thought she might have been thinking about me but does that really matter now. The answer is clearly NO. Basically to avoid having any set backs better avoid contacting them altogether. They have found someone, good for them. They are single, that is none of our concern. I regret breaking the NC and you should stick to it no matter what. Be strong 1
negritaultra Posted November 13, 2016 Posted November 13, 2016 glad i saw this , been writing out a text then deleting it for a few days now .. was very close to sending but i didn't . .. it's not worth it gotta keep going on so you won't have to start all over 1
Author BAcK Posted November 15, 2016 Author Posted November 15, 2016 Hey guys. I must admit that it has been nearly 2 weeks of NC (2nd stint) and i am having this urge to contact her. I am aware that this might destroy all the progress i've made so far and i must say that am better off emotionally and far more stable than the last time i contacted her but still am dying to hear from her atleast once. Honestly after 3 months of the break up, i still love her unconditionally though i do not want her back. I have blocked her on instagram and do not even stalk her anywhere even if we have not blocked each other on FB. I have deleted her number. Do you guys think i should contact her just casually?
fromheart Posted November 15, 2016 Posted November 15, 2016 Hey guys. I must admit that it has been nearly 2 weeks of NC (2nd stint) and i am having this urge to contact her. I am aware that this might destroy all the progress i've made so far and i must say that am better off emotionally and far more stable than the last time i contacted her but still am dying to hear from her atleast once. Honestly after 3 months of the break up, i still love her unconditionally though i do not want her back. I have blocked her on instagram and do not even stalk her anywhere even if we have not blocked each other on FB. I have deleted her number. Do you guys think i should contact her just casually? Come on dude, read your own thread! Love yourself unconditionally, not a woman who drop kicked you for someone else. 2
Author BAcK Posted November 15, 2016 Author Posted November 15, 2016 Come on dude, read your own thread! Love yourself unconditionally, not a woman who drop kicked you for someone else. This is exactly what i needed to hear. As irrational as it might sound we have this inborn habit of contradicting our own thoughts. In other words we chase unrealistic dreams. I needed to hear what i already know from you people. Thank you a lot. And i am still maintaining my stance on NC. I WILL NOT CONTACT HER. 1
marky00 Posted November 15, 2016 Posted November 15, 2016 Breaking NC is like pushing barbed wire up your nostril.
theex Posted November 17, 2016 Posted November 17, 2016 Isn't it crazy how we allow ONE person to mean SO much to us? I mean, it's one person out of the billions that exist in the world. I was starting to go NC and then thought of something I'd wanted to say to my ex and started to type it out in a text. But then I felt shameful thinking I couldn't even go NC for 24 whole hours. Then, it dawned upon me that I didn't really care if I contacted them or broke NC even before starting because I know I'll be OK in the end and this is just ONE person who didn't want me...so who are they to dictate our feelings? Only we have permission to dictate our own feelings! Yes, I get that NC helps you heal by removing you emotionally from the situation, but if you break NC, then forgive yourself and move on. Don't beat yourself up over it! 1
Author BAcK Posted November 17, 2016 Author Posted November 17, 2016 Isn't it crazy how we allow ONE person to mean SO much to us? I mean, it's one person out of the billions that exist in the world. I was starting to go NC and then thought of something I'd wanted to say to my ex and started to type it out in a text. But then I felt shameful thinking I couldn't even go NC for 24 whole hours. Then, it dawned upon me that I didn't really care if I contacted them or broke NC even before starting because I know I'll be OK in the end and this is just ONE person who didn't want me...so who are they to dictate our feelings? Only we have permission to dictate our own feelings! Yes, I get that NC helps you heal by removing you emotionally from the situation, but if you break NC, then forgive yourself and move on. Don't beat yourself up over it! The best thing i've heard in a while. I have broken NC and yet i do not feel any remorse about it. To be honest, even if she does not really care about me anymore, it felt good to hear from her. Breaking NC does not necessarily mean trying to get someone back. I am strong enough not to have a relapse and have accepted the fact that i will find someone sooner or later. As you said, we dictate our feelings. 1
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