Delicaterose00 Posted July 12, 2005 Posted July 12, 2005 Hi everyone.. well I am still in bad shape.. I miss my ex soooooooooooooo bad.. I cant stop thinking about him. I want to call him soooooooooooo bad, I want to hear his voice and I want to go back..... ya he cheated on me, and lied tome...........but he could change right???? 2 years of something I thought I was blessed about... sniff sniff.... I hate this!!!! Does anyone else wake up in the morning sick thier stomach..... crying...... then going through the day all sad and just cant have any fun like you should be?? Its been 2 months now.. shouldnt I be over this?? I feel so alone!!!! I cant stop feeling so depressed, and thinking of alllllllllllllllllll the wonderful memories we have.. cause he wasent different until right till the end of the relationship.... I need somemore good advice....
totallyconfused Posted July 12, 2005 Posted July 12, 2005 I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL. I just recently found out my boyfriend of FOUR years cheated on me. And now is he acting SO COLD. He was my best friend and lover literally. He was REALLY awesome to me the whole time until I found out he was cheating on me. Then it all changed. It has only been 5 days since I found this out. So right now, I have a open wound fresh with salt sprinkled all over it. For 3 months he lied to me straight to my face, cheating, plotting, deceiving and conniving. Now he is going to try to "work things out " with a girl that he jsut met 1 month that is 8 years younger than he is - i have previous posts about that. My situation is the absolute worst. I am grieving now. I am just realizing the truth that this man is causing me the worst of all worst. But since I keep talking about it and cried about it to friends, family and strangers. Mind you, its only been >5 days! All was fine in our relationship and then BOOM - lie, lie, cheat, lie, jealousy, anger. I've felt alot better crying over it and just talking openly about it. I was ashamed of it at first, but now I realize it wasn't my fault. He's still trying to string me along, instead of calling - he'll text me saying he'll call but never does. Hes being so cowardly - doesnt want to hear the pain in my voice that he's caused. He says he can offer me friendship - but where is this friendship? friends help each other out in the lowest of all lows and he cant even offer me sympathy and support me being alone. A year back when I tried to break it off with him, I talked him through it - as a friend. Supported him and just really eased his pain. He knows how much effort that took from me, especially since it drove away a chance with another man I could have had. And now he's being selfish, rotten, and cold. What goes around comes around. I know it, its happened to me before. I feel strong throughout the day, but its the morning that really gets to me. the morning when i first wake up, its like a shot right thru the skull. cuz i thats first thing i realize - that i'm alone. theres nobody there for me with tenderness. i have to really stop that b/c it weakens me. i have to go thru this strong, just like you will. you have had 2 months - go out there now and talk to guys. you deserve someone that cares just as much as you do. dont WASTE YOUR time. thats your time and get it back.
westernxer Posted July 12, 2005 Posted July 12, 2005 Could he change? Certainly. Will he? No one knows but him. You can always go back and find out for sure, but why take the risk? I have strong suspicion you will, because he rocks your world.
J dub Posted July 12, 2005 Posted July 12, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer Could he change? Certainly. Will he? No one knows but him. You can always go back and find out for sure, but why take the risk? I have strong suspicion you will, because he rocks your world. That almost sounds like an invite to throw herself back to the wolves. Girl - hang in there...going back will only cause for a repeat performance. There are men who dont cheat, you know....
Author Delicaterose00 Posted July 12, 2005 Author Posted July 12, 2005 Im glad to know Im not alone.. wow 5 days... I remember when it was five days for me.. I did nothing but cry allllllllllllllllllllllll day, I thought I was going to die..... i dont feel like I will die anymore, but I certaintly cant seem to let go.. I still talk to him.... he still says he loves me.... he misses me... but he doesnt know what he wants right now....... he says if its ment to be it wil happen.... he is stringing me along... yupe.... I just dont know how not to talk to him.. I love him sooooooooooooooo much!!!! And yes the mornings you get up, you realize its one more day you dont have him.......and its like.. I get up and for about 5 seconds I feel great, and then as soon as he pops in... my stomach turns, Im sick... I smoke prefusely...did I spell that right? Anways... I wish i could move on.. I have dated 3 guys by the way.. all were a**h***s!!! lol.... since Mike I mean... Its like... Ill never find anyone... Im so ready for it.. why wont god give it to me?? Im trying to hang in there but I need to know Im not alone... I feel like Im the only one in the world greiving, and crying, and not eating, and not having fun doing anything..... but I know I am not.... One of the worst things he said to me though was that...:" peoples hearts get broken every day babe" Im like.. people die everyday too but it doesnt maker any easier for anyone!!! Stupid.. but head! lol....TOTALLY CONFUSED, are you like me? are you like. running your relationship from beginning to end every day? Thinking of all the sweet things they did adn said.... and how are you coping with the jelousey?????????? that is killing me the most right now............ ohhhh its killing me....
J dub Posted July 12, 2005 Posted July 12, 2005 Everytime a thought or a memory pops into my head I push the thought out by thinking of something entirely different. I can relive and enjoy the memories when I am healed, right now I dont need to be reminded of what I DONT have. So I'm basically trying to trick myself in to not thinking about it.
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