Popsicle Posted November 10, 2016 Posted November 10, 2016 Hello, To quickly follow up on this, happy hour date continued to ask when I would be available to meet. I told him I am not sure if I will be open to another date at this time. He continues to text small talk to me every day. I always feel block and delete is so harsh on these things, but I am getting to that point. Not sure what his deal is about pushing it and keeping daily contact when he couldn't make it a priority in the first place. If you're waiting for him to apologize he's not going to. He doesn't even know he did something wrong. Block him. 1
JoeSmith357-1 Posted November 10, 2016 Posted November 10, 2016 (edited) I can tell you that, as a guy, a woman multi-dating is NOT a good look for you. A single mom doing it is even worse. Having dated MANY single moms, I can tell you that every one of them was always short on time to see me, or dedicate to the relationship. And for good reason, their priorities are with the kid and keeping their lives in order. The message you send other guys by multi-dating is you are desperate, and your priorities are jacked up Edited November 10, 2016 by JoeSmith357-1
VeveCakes Posted November 10, 2016 Posted November 10, 2016 I can tell you that, as a guy, a woman multi-dating is NOT a good look for you. The message you send other guys by multi-dating is you are desperate, and your priorities are jacked up lol this is so not true...that is just your opinion. How can they be desperate if they have multiple options? Seems the opposite to me. 1
Toodaloo Posted November 10, 2016 Posted November 10, 2016 No you gave that guy more than a second chance to listen to you and he still rudely pushed when you already told him no....then he pulls a pickup artist trick by texting you in the middle of the night to tell you he had a great time at happy hour....kind of rubbing it in your face that you missed out. He is disrespectful, kick him to the curb. I am with this one... Texting someone you have not met that late when you are drunk is just not on. Just send a one liner. Have met someone else - good luck with your search... The "good luck with your search" is a common thing to put when you do not want any more contact and you do not want to date... Its code.
Toodaloo Posted November 10, 2016 Posted November 10, 2016 I can tell you that, as a guy, a woman multi-dating is NOT a good look for you. A single mom doing it is even worse. Having dated MANY single moms, I can tell you that every one of them was always short on time to see me, or dedicate to the relationship. And for good reason, their priorities are with the kid and keeping their lives in order. The message you send other guys by multi-dating is you are desperate, and your priorities are jacked up Its not multi dating its two first dates.
Author selinaluv Posted November 10, 2016 Author Posted November 10, 2016 I can tell you that, as a guy, a woman multi-dating is NOT a good look for you. A single mom doing it is even worse. Having dated MANY single moms, I can tell you that every one of them was always short on time to see me, or dedicate to the relationship. And for good reason, their priorities are with the kid and keeping their lives in order. The message you send other guys by multi-dating is you are desperate, and your priorities are jacked up First of all... I have been on my own (after my husband left me with our daughter) for 8 years. She is 10 now. For more than half that time, I wasn't even talking seriously to men and focusing on her and healing from my divorce. It has only been the past two years that I have been even giving the online thing a serious try and maybe even a year since I have felt really comfortable going on dates. I am lucky if I prioritize a date or two a month. If I do find someone I like more, I will make it a priority and she will be with her grandparents every once in a while. Second... this is my first attempt at "multi dating" on the recommendation I often see from the people on this board. To not "put all my eggs in one basket" which I have been known to do. It is a defense mechanism for me, versus me being desperate. I do very well online and could actually get multiple dates a week if I wanted. I am not "desperate" enough to do that I guess. If a man feels that way about single moms, then he can move on.
Author selinaluv Posted November 10, 2016 Author Posted November 10, 2016 Its not multi dating its two first dates. This is correct. My daughter was on a school trip for the week, which I figured was the perfect time to go on a couple first dates. ...something that is often recommended on this board and others. I am not dating multiple men at once.
Toodaloo Posted November 10, 2016 Posted November 10, 2016 This is correct. My daughter was on a school trip for the week, which I figured was the perfect time to go on a couple first dates. ...something that is often recommended on this board and others. I am not dating multiple men at once. Don't worry. There are several ways of dating and some advocate multi dating where as some don't. I can tell you that both camps prefer their way so its probably best to stick with people who like to date in the same way as you. I wouldn't say either is wrong as they both have their merits and downfalls. So my advice is always do what you feel comfortable with. A first date does not a relationship make so going on a few first and second dates is absolutely fine in my book. You have done nothing wrong. And as you have learnt the first date very rarely progresses into a second... But I will say this to you. Weed out the unsuitable ones fast and be ruthless about it. Do not waste time and emotion on unsuitable men. Its my mistake and I see it time and time again in others. We waste time on unsuitable men because we think we are being silly or that its our fault or that there is something wrong with us etc etc etc. Do not doubt yourself and if you feel uncomfortable or if something doesn't feel right cut the cord straight away and move on.
Author selinaluv Posted November 10, 2016 Author Posted November 10, 2016 Don't worry. There are several ways of dating and some advocate multi dating where as some don't. I can tell you that both camps prefer their way so its probably best to stick with people who like to date in the same way as you. I wouldn't say either is wrong as they both have their merits and downfalls. So my advice is always do what you feel comfortable with. A first date does not a relationship make so going on a few first and second dates is absolutely fine in my book. You have done nothing wrong. And as you have learnt the first date very rarely progresses into a second... But I will say this to you. Weed out the unsuitable ones fast and be ruthless about it. Do not waste time and emotion on unsuitable men. Its my mistake and I see it time and time again in others. We waste time on unsuitable men because we think we are being silly or that its our fault or that there is something wrong with us etc etc etc. Do not doubt yourself and if you feel uncomfortable or if something doesn't feel right cut the cord straight away and move on. I actually don't know if I like talking to a few men at once. It can get overwhelming. It was just something I wanted to try out. I do see the advantage that I don't necessarily focus on just one, but the cream does rise to the top anyway. On top of that I don't tell any of them I am dating others. None of their business. And honestly I imagine they are doing the same. I do like your second point. I am not good at that because I am often accused of being too nice. What do you define as unsuitable? In this case, it is clear for me and I am going with my gut. But how about others who I really like, but may not be a suitable option down the road. Those who I think may hurt me, but I feel I want to continue seeing because I really enjoy their company. I am thinking that will be the other guy I am talking to right now.
Recommended Posts