She texts me after 60 Days NC - 5 months broken up

[prrum]

Hi Everyone,

 

I would like to apologize if it is hard to read but english it is not my first language.

 

I have known this site for years, after I broke up with my first girlfriend 9 years ago but I never registered or write anything.

 

So here is my story:

 

I am 28 years old Male, and I have only had 2 meaningful relationship in my life.

 

First relationship:

 

LDR 2 years, I broke up with her because i was Young and stupid and i thought the grass was greener, I regretted my decision 10 days after the break up but my ex never took me back. To me she was my first real love and it took me years to get over her, that's why I didn't have any other relationship until I was 25.

 

She did contact me and I did contact her here and there for the next 5 years.

 

She was actually a great girl and i was Jerk, so all this years I tried my best to learn from this so I wouldn't make the same mistakes in my next relationship.

 

Second relationship:

 

2 year relationship with a 24 year old female, that live 5 minutes by car from my apartment. I broke up with her 5 months ago, because the relationship was getting bored she didn't want to have any sex (by that I mean 2 months without sex), and she wasn't putting any effort in making the relationship better while i was trying everything to make the relationship better, i am saying this because it was really hard for me to break up knowing that I had suffered so much in my last relationship, so i really did try EVERYTHING to make it work with this girl.

 

At one point I got so tired of trying that I knew that the relationship would be over in the next months, so I really thought the best way to break up go NC and if I really had feelings and she had feelings we could get back in the future and be the best couple ever like we were the first 1.5 years.

 

While I wasn't the best boyfriend ever , i always tried to be supportive and I never in the whole relationship told her a bad word or abuse her in anyway. I always helped her in everything that she would tell me it was important for her. I can honestly say that our relationship was based on respect and it was a very healthy relationship.

 

After the break up she was devastated but I tried my best to explain to her all the reasons why I was doing it so she would have her closure. She went NC I went NC and we didn't talk for a little over a month, then I contact her because i realized that I still have feeling for her and that i wanted her back, only if she wanted to try also, because i knew that it wouldn't work if it was only going to be me trying again.

 

She said she didn't want me back, and that she wanted to travel for a year and that it was best for us to not be together again. I understood and i told her that i really wanted to try, and that i was really sorry if it was hard for her, but that i was really doing it for the best, and not because there is was someone else or that i wanted to go see if the grass was greener or anything like that. I told her I love her and that if she ever wanted to get back with me to let me know.

 

After 42 days of NC I break it again, she answers me we go for a coffee, i told her that i still wanted to try, but she said that her decision is final and that she won't be with me again, i told her again that i understood and that i was going to do my life and try to move on.

 

Then I decided to myself that it was enough and that I wouldn't ever contact her again, and that I would do my best to accept this and move on for good. So i started to be with my friends more, I started to visit my family more, I started to do my own thing and I was actually doing great, I still remember her but it wasn't bad anymore.

 

So i started NC again and after 60 days (November 3rd), she contacts me (first time she contacts me after 5 months) asking me how I am, my family, and all that. I only answer what she asked me so i only text “I am fine and my family is too”, she then says I am happy for you and good luck. I didn't answer anything. Then 6 hours later she send me a huge text really angry, like it was all my fault and that I was rude for not asking her anything and all that. The text was with soo much hate that i thought if i answer anything she will want to keep fighting so i decided to not text anything back.

 

What I don't understand is why is she doing this

 

Anyways that is my story good luck everyone

[cucumber95]

Just reply that you were busy and did not have time to reply, and ask how she is doing, if she wrotes back, then just ignore her messages. If she keeps messaging ask her what she wants.

[prrum]

Hey guys,

 

just wanted to give an update, i had some LC with my ex, and we are going to have a date monday night.

 

Best of luck to everyone!

[prrum]

Hey guys just wanted to give an update of what has happened since November 2016.

 

• I Broke up with my ex in late May 2016.
  
• NC for 1 month (Until first days of July), regretted my decision wanted her back, she didn't want me back.
  
• NC for 1.5 months, contacted her, meet up, she didn't want me back again.
  
• NC for another 2 months (until November), she contacted me, she actually did not know what she wanted, we hang out a couple of time, kiss a couple of times, then I went to a trip with my friends that i have planned months before. After i came back from the trip like a week after i called to meet up she says she will be busy for the next 2 weeks (i knew she wasn't busy), we argue everything goes wrong.
  
• Decided to go NC again in December 13th. She contacted me for Christmas, i didn't answer, and have been in NC ever since.
  

 

So right now i have been in NC for 3 months which is great, i met a new girl in February and we are dating, not officially yet because i don't want to and i still have feeling for my ex, but i can honestly say that i am 90% recovered.

 

Life does get better, I am really focused in my work, i actually enjoy now doing things with my friend, i started to do sports again.

 

For everyone suffering out there, believe when people says it gets better with time because it does!!! But you need to do NC.

 

NC is extremely hard at first, you will suffer much more that if you keep contacting your ex in the beginning, but if you are strong enough not to give up eventually you will feel great again.

[Purepony]

Great to read it's great to see your success story well so far

 

I'm glad you kept your composure with no contact it sounds like you have a good heart because you knew things weren't going to work out but you tried before you exit it and even after you left he looked back and it doesn't sound like it went back just to be clingy

 

I hope and wish you luck on your new relationship because you deserve a good woman

[prrum]

Thanks you for your reply!!

[breadbin]

It's great to read a happy story on here. I usually just see the desperation and pain in the threads i read. Well done! It gives us all hope. I include myself in there about the desperation and pain! My story is the same as alot of peoples here. I am trying no contact again with my ex and yes it is tough. Everytime she contacts me or we meet it hurts like hell and then when she says things like she still loves me and wants to kiss me it makes it all harder and I get hurt again and again. I'm glad that you had some light at the end of your tunnel:)

[JasonRules]

"What I don't understand is why is she doing this"

 

Many women are emotionally insecure and need constant attention and praise of their personalities, looks etc. in order to 'keep it together'.

 

Your NC (no contact) has left a void that other men aren't filling, so she's reaching out to you with breadcrumbs in order to get an ego boost and to reassure herself that you still want her.

 

These attempts at contacting you are not necessarily because she wants to do anything with you. These attempts at contact are all about her.

[prrum]

First of all i want to say thank you to all of you all.

 

I went to the club tongiht with the girl im seeing, and it was quite fun. We then went outside to talk and there it was my ex gf with another guy, so i said hello, and her new boyfirend or whatever went crazy, so my date just grab me and we just left, my ex was like super worried about what was happeing.....

 

crazy!!! i never thought i would see her again...