LordMacharius Posted November 4, 2016 Posted November 4, 2016 (edited) Hello guys! I'm new here and decided to make this my first post. Before I start let me give you a brief backstory about me. I am young (18) and I have little experience with girls. I have only dated 5, but 2 of those relationships barely count, so like 3 girls really. I am shy, but I like a lot of people. I have a lot of crushes, like probably almost 8 different girls. But this isn't a "How to get a GF" thread, i'm going to get to the point. The last relationship I was in really hurt me when it fell apart. She dated a guy for 2 years when I liked her, so I decided to back down thinking "damn they must really love each other". Well we started hugging every time we met in the hall-way and she told her BF which yelled at her and demanded to stop being my friend. She claims to have been emotionally abused by him for most of those 2 years, and decided to break up with him. I was shocked, and in my poor judgement decided to flirt with her, she eventually confessed to liking me, and in more poor judgement decided to start dating her after one day of THEIR relationship being broken up. This set off a red-flag to me, but I assumed she was planning to do it anyway and needed a good excuse right? Well after a whole 1 month of dating we had sex, this was after having numerous oral occasions. This is the same girl who gets a red face when sex comes up during high-school chats and is very soft-spoken and shy. It was my first time, and while I don't hold any real value on virginity, I still regret it. After a whole 2 and a half months of dating (long time I know) she broke up with me. This is after two weeks of being withdrawn, and saying "her feelings were confused". I sensed something was really wrong and asked her straight up "Where is this relationship going? Do you want to end it? Because it seems like you do". She of course assured me that everything was fine.....well it wasn't. A week later after we broke up, I find out she is dating another guy, a co-worker at her job even. And she tried to hide it from me that she moved after she broke up with me. This happened in March, and its November now. I haven't dated anyone since, and I just don't even know what I want from dating anymore. Sex? Something meaningful? Long lasting? One night stand? I don't even know. Over the summer I stopped MOSTLY thinking about her, besides getting really angry at her, and myself some nights. That was shattered when school started again and we had one of the same classes. I keep having these questions like "what does he have that I don't? He's even uglier!", "Were we really that incompatible?", "what did I do to have her stop loving me?", "Was she just pretending to be nice?", "Why has she dated him for longer?", "Am I a bad person for hating her guts after this?", "Why do I even care so much? She's not the prettiest girl around...", "Am I really that un-lovable?" And last but not least "Am I pathetic for still thinking about a short relationship after all this time?" I just don't know what to do, I have no self esteem to find someone else to get over it, and I don't want to wait till college starts in order to finally never see her again for the rest of my life and start healing, since I actually want to y'know date before then. Edited November 5, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language~T
LastAcorn99 Posted November 4, 2016 Posted November 4, 2016 I can understand your pain, brother. No matter how long or short the duration of the relationship had been, breakup is always painful for the more invested party in the relationship. What you’re going through is very normal. You need to allow yourself time to grieve and let out your hurt and pain. I would suggest you talk about your situation to a close friend or a caring adult -- trust me, it will help. Then, focus your mind on doing something productive, like working hard on your studies, or taking up an activity of interest. What not to do: rushing into a rebound relationship, and swearing off on love and vulnerability. Please take care of yourself. Better days are ahead. 1
cucumber95 Posted November 4, 2016 Posted November 4, 2016 It is better that it happend now instead of months later. It is hard and always will be, sometimes I ask myself "is it worth dating again?", I don't even know. But it will get easier everyday, some days it will be better, some days you will feel bad. Just focus on not thinking about her. "I have no self esteem to find someone else to get over it" - this is bad, it won't help you. You will think that that person will remove your ex from your mind, but it won't, what if other girls decides to break up as well? you going to have extra pain. You need to get over her and then start to date again if you want to. Good luck, you are not alone with that, I am in same situation as you, and lot of people on that forum as well.
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