spiderowl Posted November 3, 2016 Posted November 3, 2016 I am supposed to be meeting a guy at the end of the week. Met him online and he is travelling to visit. But, although he seems very keen and has been very sweet on the phone and via online messaging, he doesn't respond to texts. We had a misunderstanding earlier which I think we've just about got over, but the lack of response to texts is unnerving. I am thinking I need to call this meeting off. I know some prefer talking on the phone to texts but I am not one of them. I cannot see why a guy cannot respond to the odd text. I am not talking about 10 a day, but say one to maintain contact. Is it just me? He seems really sweet in other respects but this is so concerning to me that I think I've got to cancel. Can you think of any reasons why someone would ignore texts if they were planning to meet only a few days later? This just feels wrong somehow.
Shanex Posted November 3, 2016 Posted November 3, 2016 A text a day is 30 seconds of his day, so I see no reason either. Unless a lack of motivation and I would also consider canceling if he isn't very responsive. 5
Redhead14 Posted November 3, 2016 Posted November 3, 2016 I am supposed to be meeting a guy at the end of the week. Met him online and he is travelling to visit. But, although he seems very keen and has been very sweet on the phone and via online messaging, he doesn't respond to texts. We had a misunderstanding earlier which I think we've just about got over, but the lack of response to texts is unnerving. I am thinking I need to call this meeting off. I know some prefer talking on the phone to texts but I am not one of them. I cannot see why a guy cannot respond to the odd text. I am not talking about 10 a day, but say one to maintain contact. Is it just me? He seems really sweet in other respects but this is so concerning to me that I think I've got to cancel. Can you think of any reasons why someone would ignore texts if they were planning to meet only a few days later? This just feels wrong somehow. You two haven't met yet, so having "expectations" regarding communication is a little pre-mature. Whatever he's doing is apparently more of a priority than answering your texts and I can understand that. You have a date for Saturday, so leave the small talk/conversation for that date. You've reached out, you leave the ball in his court. If he doesn't confirm by tomorrow, you make other plans for yourself for Saturday. 3
GoreSP Posted November 3, 2016 Posted November 3, 2016 Some people are justbad at texting or just don't like it. Or maybe his plan is ****ty and he doesn't get a lot of text messages per month... If he was texting regularly at first and suddenly stopped I'd be concerned but if he's always been slow to respond, I wouldn't worry about it just yet...
Author spiderowl Posted November 3, 2016 Author Posted November 3, 2016 Thanks, I think he will confirm, I just find this so unnerving I feel like I'm going to drop out.
salparadise Posted November 3, 2016 Posted November 3, 2016 I think you should ask him straight up why he hasn't responded your your texts. Could it be that he simply doesn't text? I know people who don't, or at least not in the way that most would expect these days. Maybe he has notification turned off and doesn't even know when he receives one. If it turns out that he is purposely ignoring texts, then make of what you will I guess. Seems a little odd but if everything else seems good I'd investigate rather than assuming.
Author spiderowl Posted November 3, 2016 Author Posted November 3, 2016 Works long hours and doesn't get a signal where he works. Still, he must get a signal afterwards. It doesn't feel right but in every other communication he comes across as a really lovely character. Nothing today, why do guys do this?
Redhead14 Posted November 3, 2016 Posted November 3, 2016 Thanks, I think he will confirm, I just find this so unnerving I feel like I'm going to drop out. Well getting stressed out over a guy you haven't met yet and bailing at the tiniest inkling of a possible issue isn't going to get you very far. You're reducing your odds of meeting a suitable dating partner that's for sure. Why not just sit back and chill and let things play out either way. Keep busy with your life instead of fretting over every little blip. Keep searching profiles and evaluating others. If you have your date with this guy and things move forward and you find that he's not good at communicating or doesn't respond, etc., then you make a decision about whether to continue to see him. Get to the date first before you start putting guys from OLD on the chopping block. 1
Author spiderowl Posted November 3, 2016 Author Posted November 3, 2016 Good points Redhead, thanks. I don't know, I don't want to meet someone unless I feel it could actually go somewhere and I already feel he's letting me down. Also, I am feeling anxious and like there is no point planning the meeting because of this. I need someone who communicates. 1
Shanex Posted November 3, 2016 Posted November 3, 2016 Good points Redhead, thanks. I don't know, I don't want to meet someone unless I feel it could actually go somewhere and I already feel he's letting me down. Also, I am feeling anxious and like there is no point planning the meeting because of this. I need someone who communicates. I think that if he doesn't communicate past the date and assuming you meet over the weekend, then there might be further issues if you want communication in a relationship. Relevant question, how far does he lives from you? He's visiting you just for the date ?
Author spiderowl Posted November 4, 2016 Author Posted November 4, 2016 Yes, he was visiting just for the date. I've heard nothing today and I'm going to drop out. I can't deal with someone who doesn't respond. 2
Author spiderowl Posted November 4, 2016 Author Posted November 4, 2016 Prob is now how to call it off without offending. I have mentioned the issue before and nothing has improved.
Shanex Posted November 4, 2016 Posted November 4, 2016 Prob is now how to call it off without offending. I have mentioned the issue before and nothing has improved. Not that easy and he may take offense but honestly, if he can't be arsed to confirm a date through a simple one liner text I don't think he's worth more of your time. 1
Author spiderowl Posted November 4, 2016 Author Posted November 4, 2016 He already confirmed it as such yesterday, just not heard anything today and I did send a message with one question in it. Maybe he's changed his mind. Either way, I can't bear the uncertainty and would rather give up.
Gaeta Posted November 4, 2016 Posted November 4, 2016 Well getting stressed out over a guy you haven't met yet and bailing at the tiniest inkling of a possible issue isn't going to get you very far. You're reducing your odds of meeting a suitable dating partner that's for sure. Why not just sit back and chill and let things play out either way. Keep busy with your life instead of fretting over every little blip. Keep searching profiles and evaluating others. If you have your date with this guy and things move forward and you find that he's not good at communicating or doesn't respond, etc., then you make a decision about whether to continue to see him. Get to the date first before you start putting guys from OLD on the chopping block. I rarely disagree with you but on this one I will. The man is traveling to meet with her. He is a stranger from outside of town. When she texts him he never replies, not that he replies late or just at times, no, he NEVER replies. That tells me he ignores her and deletes her messages to not leave any trace on his phone. This man is probably married or in some type of relationship and he won't be caught texting someone else. It's also extremely rude to ignore the text of a woman you have a date with. I don't care how busy you are, how important you are, how passionate you are about your life, if you took interest in a woman ENOUGH to travel to meet her than take 3 seconds to answer her damn text. I would cancel meeting him. 5
Author spiderowl Posted November 4, 2016 Author Posted November 4, 2016 I really don't get the feeling he's married or in a relationship Gaeta but you know, maybe he is. He does phone me and seems happy to talk for a while. But yes, something is up I feel. He seemed so keen and has made efforts to phone me at times when I haven't been able to talk to him, but not replying to texts is demoralising. He has sent me texts in a recent conversation but they did seem to arrive in an odd order. I can't cope with the uncertainty of knowing whether a guy is genuinely interested (and available) or not. What is the point of getting into something where the guy cuts off like this?
Gaeta Posted November 4, 2016 Posted November 4, 2016 I dated a local man for almost a year before discovering I was the other-woman so imagine how easy it is for a man from outside of town. Whether he is in a relationship or not, ignoring your communication is rude and it's not the type of man you want. We all live with our phones attached inside our palm. We check it several times a day, we make phone calls, we check the Internet, name it. An through all this he sees your text sitting there and can't acknowledged it? Weak, so weak.
jen1447 Posted November 4, 2016 Posted November 4, 2016 Prob is now how to call it off without offending. I have mentioned the issue before and nothing has improved. Text him you're not feeling it anymore and have to cancel. Srsly.
Author spiderowl Posted November 4, 2016 Author Posted November 4, 2016 Hmm, now it seems there is a signal problem with my texts arriving hours later and in wrong order. I think it may be true.
Timshel Posted November 4, 2016 Posted November 4, 2016 Why not just meet the guy spiderowl? You can decide then if he's worth any trouble over texting. It seems like last minute jitters. 1
Author spiderowl Posted November 4, 2016 Author Posted November 4, 2016 Well, I see your point timeshell, prob is long journey to reach me and then what do I do with him? I want to be sure I can be welcoming and this communication problem has really messed up all my plans.
Timshel Posted November 4, 2016 Posted November 4, 2016 Are you uncertain that he is coming? I'm asking because though you have waffled, it seemed the last time you talked, he was set meet you, tomorrow. Have you called it off? If so, by voice...?
Author spiderowl Posted November 5, 2016 Author Posted November 5, 2016 I cancelled and called it off but he got in touch later and explained problem with texts. I feel confident he is genuine and we are going to meet this weekend. Thank you for all your support.
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