jdubinva Posted November 3, 2016 Posted November 3, 2016 So, I've been chatting with this woman online and we're planning on meeting tomorrow. The texts, conversations and emails have been very light and nice. She seems genuinely interested. Well, until she said this. "And thank you for asking how my week is going. It's going kinda okay in that I have the female monthly thing going to happen any day now, and so right now, for instance, I have a slight headache and really just want to got to bed. LOL!?" Is she preparing her out for the date already if we don't mesh? Is she letting me know sex won't be happening? (it's a first date - I'm not thinking along those lines!) I do not understand why she would send those details.
Gaeta Posted November 3, 2016 Posted November 3, 2016 No, I don't think she is preparing to cancel. I think she lacks tact, really I would never mention a man I not in a relationship with that I am about to have my period. Is she much younger than you by any chance? It sounds like something a 15 year old would say. 1
Author jdubinva Posted November 3, 2016 Author Posted November 3, 2016 We're both 42. I really don't understand why she'd tell me that. She teaches meditation so maybe she believes in full, over the top honesty. It isn't like she's the only woman who has that time of month but to say it out of the blue the day before we're supposed to meet is confusing. We haven't had any sexual conversations at all.
Gaeta Posted November 3, 2016 Posted November 3, 2016 We're both 42. I really don't understand why she'd tell me that. She teaches meditation so maybe she believes in full, over the top honesty. It isn't like she's the only woman who has that time of month but to say it out of the blue the day before we're supposed to meet is confusing. We haven't had any sexual conversations at all. lol 42! I am shocked She must be the granola type. Chances are she doesn't shave her legs and armpits lol 1
kendahke Posted November 3, 2016 Posted November 3, 2016 We're both 42. I really don't understand why she'd tell me that. She teaches meditation so maybe she believes in full, over the top honesty. It isn't like she's the only woman who has that time of month but to say it out of the blue the day before we're supposed to meet is confusing. We haven't had any sexual conversations at all. Just because she mentioned this doesn't mean she was erecting boundaries around sex. They are two independent issues and she's not conflating the two--you are. It was just a comment. She'll most likely pop a couple of Tylenols or aspirin and meet up with you. You're overthinking this. Stop. Quit stressing about a date.
Author jdubinva Posted November 3, 2016 Author Posted November 3, 2016 No woman has mentioned that she was about to hit her period one day prior to a date unless I was involved with them. I'll try to stop analyzing it but it seems strange. There is such a thing as too much honesty. 2
Gaeta Posted November 3, 2016 Posted November 3, 2016 Just because she mentioned this doesn't mean she was erecting boundaries around sex. They are two independent issues and she's not conflating the two--you are. It was just a comment. She'll most likely pop a couple of Tylenols or aspirin and meet up with you. You're overthinking this. Stop. Quit stressing about a date. I think he is more confused at the comment than worried. What 42 year old woman tells a stranger she's about to have her period? This is a private matter women keep to themselves till we're on an intimate level. It's over-sharing, if I were a man I'd find it a turn off. 4
GoreSP Posted November 3, 2016 Posted November 3, 2016 I don't think she is planning to cancel necessarily but seriously 1-TMI 2- 42 years old and she calls her period the female monthly thing? :/ 2
Author jdubinva Posted November 4, 2016 Author Posted November 4, 2016 The part that I think is funny is her saying, It could happen any day now. As if this is a baby watch or something. We are going to meet tomorrow night and I'll bring some ibuprofen along. Not sure if it'll be for me or her though 3
Toodaloo Posted November 4, 2016 Posted November 4, 2016 Dear Lord... Since when is it illegal for a woman to admit that she has periods and sometimes they are a bit awful for her. 1. I don't think she is going to cancel. 2. I think she is pretty much in tune with what she is thinking and feeling and why 3. I think its pretty sad that people, grown adults for that, can not be grown up enough to be able to mention something like periods with out it turning into some sort of drama and making assumptions because dear lord a woman has a period! Its not like its an unusual event or has never happened before! The guys at work know better than I do when I am due on... For goodness sake its like saying men can't possibly have a penis... Grow up all of you. And no I do not have PMS, I am just fed up of women being made to feel bad because of a natural biological process that they have no control over. Jesus. Costs enough in tampax and chocolate each month with out the need to hide away or be made to feel awful just because you admit that you are normal. Next it will be that men are terrible because they have a hairy chest or the ability to grow beards... OP enjoy your date. She is just honest. She was having a bad day for no reason other than the fact periods suck and she was letting you know that her bad day was because of that and not anything else. Its no worse than saying I had a puncture on the car or I am busting for the loo. Read into it what you like but if you feel that what she said was bad then I suggest you drop out and date women who don't have a cervix or have gone through the menopause already. Because periods are what they are and there is sod all any woman can do about them. Thanks for the judgement folks from both sexes... Way to go treat a woman like she is awful because... well for no reason really... 5
Gaeta Posted November 4, 2016 Posted November 4, 2016 Toodaloo: The guys at work know you better than strangers on the Internet. You also have an already established relationship with them. Would you tell a stranger in the elevator that you are about to have your period? NO. Same thing with OP. If I am in contact with a man on the Internet I am about to meet I don't want to hear about his hemorrhoids. Too much sharing!! 3
mortensorchid Posted November 4, 2016 Posted November 4, 2016 Women need to learn something - do not talk to men in any way, shape or form as if they are women friends. You don't discuss things like your female troubles with men unless it's going to limit your sex life. She seems to be doing that to you in indication that there will be so sex in the immediate future, but she should not have let you know that she is in the throws of it right now. Tacky. But don't let that immediately dissuade you from her, she may be alright aside from that. Give her another shot and see how it goes.
JoeSmith357-1 Posted November 4, 2016 Posted November 4, 2016 I think that's her "not so subtle" way to tell you that you wont be banging her on the first date... And yea, it's pretty crass for women to be discussing such things very early in a relationship, let alone before the first date, jesus... 3
TheTraveler Posted November 4, 2016 Posted November 4, 2016 I think that's her "not so subtle" way to tell you that you wont be banging her on the first date... And yea, it's pretty crass for women to be discussing such things very early in a relationship, let alone before the first date, jesus... Yep, leave the condoms at home.
LookAtThisPOst Posted November 4, 2016 Posted November 4, 2016 Dear Lord... Since when is it illegal for a woman to admit that she has periods and sometimes they are a bit awful for her. It's not illegal (good job embellishing for effect), but can be a turn off if you're getting to know someone. I was on a first date with a woman, and she was talking to me about her hot flashes and what kind of product she was using to put it at ease. As if I needed to know that. If a man talked about his genitalia, you'd be guaranteed a non-first date or never a second date. And people here on LS would indeed be saying this if a guy came on here asking what he did wrong. lol 4
JoeSmith357-1 Posted November 4, 2016 Posted November 4, 2016 It's not illegal (good job embellishing for effect), but can be a turn off if you're getting to know someone. I was on a first date with a woman, and she was talking to me about her hot flashes and what kind of product she was using to put it at ease. As if I needed to know that. If a man talked about his genitalia, you'd be guaranteed a non-first date or never a second date. And people here on LS would indeed be saying this if a guy came on here asking what he did wrong. lol Yeah, it would be like if a guy on the first date started talking about his jock itch or... i'm having a hard time finding a male comparison to this. But it's SOLIDLY in the "TMI" category, especially early in a relationship, let alone first date Don't think that speaking like this is "liberating"... because it's not 1
Toodaloo Posted November 4, 2016 Posted November 4, 2016 Toodaloo: The guys at work know you better than strangers on the Internet. You also have an already established relationship with them. Would you tell a stranger in the elevator that you are about to have your period? NO. Same thing with OP. If I am in contact with a man on the Internet I am about to meet I don't want to hear about his haemorrhoids. Too much sharing!! You clearly have never sat in a rural doctors practice... People share their hemorrhoid's all the time, and their gout, bunions... Normal conversation down the pub. Its not unusual for an old man to complain that his hemorrhoid's are playing up in the queue in the super market. Doesn't bother me one jot. Because its just life. Its not as if she is asking him to help insert a tampon. He asked how her day was and they have been talking. I still think this is blown all out of proportion. 3
VeveCakes Posted November 4, 2016 Posted November 4, 2016 I agree Tood! I totally think she said it so he knows sex is off the table. I have legit told guys its a bad time before a date when I knew they might think we would sleep together (and I genuinely had my period). 1
RecentChange Posted November 4, 2016 Posted November 4, 2016 I am on team TMI. I don't discuss my period with casual male acquaintances, and I wouldn't want to hear about their bodily function issues either. As for giving a "heads up" regarding sex..... it's a first date. Couldn't that little tidbit been shared if things started to get hot and heavy? Otherwise why bring it up?
VeveCakes Posted November 4, 2016 Posted November 4, 2016 I am on team TMI. I don't discuss my period with casual male acquaintances, and I wouldn't want to hear about their bodily function issues either. As for giving a "heads up" regarding sex..... it's a first date. Couldn't that little tidbit been shared if things started to get hot and heavy? Otherwise why bring it up? yeah I think a first date is a bit forward but maybe she got the vibe that was what he wanted?
introverted1 Posted November 4, 2016 Posted November 4, 2016 I'm also in camp TMI. Just because it's a natural body function doesn't mean it needs to be discussed with a near stranger. I'd feel the same way about non-gender-based functions, too. No need to hear about that nasty bout of diarrhea or how your snot was green, either. BUT... if a woman is going to take the approach that she should be free to discuss such matters, then she should be grown up enough to at least call it by something other than "the female monthly thing." 1
LookAtThisPOst Posted November 4, 2016 Posted November 4, 2016 "Oh oh, I got a turtle head goin' on going on back there, need to get to the bathroom!"
LookAtThisPOst Posted November 4, 2016 Posted November 4, 2016 Its not unusual for an old man . Of course, for an old man. I think there comes a certain age where old people enjoy talking about disgusting things I suppose. lol Young people...mmm...more of a social faux pax.
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