It's been a little over a week since breaking up, scared of him contacting again

[hermitcrab]

It's day 12 now since I broke up with my ex who I realize was emotionally abusive. I blocked him from everywhere - Facebook, Skype, My cellphone.

Since then a few of his friends have contacted me asking how I am and I was just short with them and said I'm fine (I have a slight suspicion he put them up to that since they never messaged me before, and one of his friends didn't even have my number, he must have gave it to her). He called my landline number a few days ago which I never use or gave to him (he must have looked it up), and asks how I am doing, and wants to talk which I said I can't, then says he wants a friendship with me which I replied I can't right now" then we ended the call. I feel stupid saying "right now". I should have just left it at can't so as not to give him hope. I don't know how I can be friends with him.

 

I'm just super scared of him taking the next step and coming to my door, asking for me back, or wanting to talk and be friends. I just want this to be over with and not live in fear of him trying to contact me. I have a hard time being assertive and I'm also scared of him trying to convince me our relationship wasn't that bad and getting sucked back into that.

 

Is there any advice on anything I can say without sounding too harsh if he contacts me again? I still will feel guilty saying hurtful things to him.

[BluesPower]

Well, no offense, but you could grow a spine.

 

I have no idea how old you are, but somehow you need to learn to be assertive. This is a life skill that everyone usually has to learn.

 

See you have already made a good decision by breaking up. So, have a friend, maybe a male friend, on call if you needed him/her. That way you could call them and they could be with you if he comes over.

 

If he is a bad guy, don't let him in for sure. If the tries to get in, call the cops.

 

You don't have to be intimidated, just get your friends to stand by you if you feel weak. And who cares if you have to be rude to him, some people just can't take a hint.

 

After this is all over, you really need to think about some counseling in order to understand why you are not assertive and how to be that way.

 

Good luck...